moimeme Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 What are your personal symbols of safety and security? I'm not asking about security as in worrying about terrorism or crime but more to do with a personal sense of security. I've been told that some people find security in possessions; they keep things around them in order to feel safe. For others, it could be family or job or - well, that's my question. What are the things which make you feel fine and safe? Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 I'd have to say that yes, people can bring a sense of security with them...such as my parents, and of course my partner. Being close to them can feel safe. I also wear crystals, and that sort of thing, or other celtic charms, which make me feel good. Another thing which makes me feel at home, even if I am living somewhere different for a while, is photos. I surround myself with images of the people and places I love, and which feel like 'home' to me. Even our home is full of photos on display, and on the walls. It makes anywhere I live feel warm, and secure, and 'home'. When I lived overseas I carried a little album with me, plus a couple of favourite pieces of jewelry, which held value to me. Interesting question- what made you ask? Link to post Share on other sites
Author moimeme Posted May 20, 2004 Author Share Posted May 20, 2004 Interesting question- what made you ask? You know me - I don't reveal all early in a thread. However, I will say that I was reflecting on my own state of affairs and I was looking for others' experiences with which to compare my own. Essentially, for the past nine years, it has been very rare that one or more of job, home, and relationship were not in doubt. I have managed two of three for some portions of time, but three of three has been hard to achieve, particularly when I went back into rental housing and lived in condos which kept getting sold. I haven't some of the more usual stability touchstones. I was reflecting on a few I do have and realizing that I must have been needing to find a couple more, which explains a couple things. At the same time, Maslow has come up again in my course and I see that my 'safety' need may have been a little unfulfilled for - oh - the last nine or so years ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author moimeme Posted May 20, 2004 Author Share Posted May 20, 2004 What! The ever-eloquent Dyer stuck for words? Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Some things transcend words. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moimeme Posted May 20, 2004 Author Share Posted May 20, 2004 Some things transcend words Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 I think what gives me a personal sense of security/safety is my skills/abilities/knowledge and knowing i'm OK on my own (which i don't quite know for sure yet, but soon i will find out). I think any posessions, and even connections with people, add to the insecurity, because most ppl fear losing them. While they're very important, i think the true sense of security comes from believing in yourself, stripped of any external aids (except for, say, books - there aren't likely to be a problem to find!). So i think it's all inside yourself! A few crystals may make you feel more confident, too my 2c, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author moimeme Posted May 20, 2004 Author Share Posted May 20, 2004 I think what gives me a personal sense of security/safety is my skills/abilities/knowledge and knowing i'm OK on my own (which i don't quite know for sure yet, but soon i will find out). Let me know what you think then Link to post Share on other sites
silk_sword Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 security used to come from the thought of my own strength and during extremely hard times the thought of an angel. now comfort comes from the arms of my lover, and i don't remember a time in my life where i ever allowed another to protect/secure me, not even my parents. the ease i feel with vivid now is one i've never experienced and no matter what happens am grateful for. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 #1) Puppy Kisses & dog hugs --it just doesn't get any better than that! #2) Writing a check to pay my mortgage, KNOWING it won't bounce & I still have something left in the bank. #3) A big [color=red]"PAID IN FULL"[/color] stamp on an account statement. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Hey silk- i'm glad you're so happy. I forgot to mention Angels and spirit guides. They definately watch over me, wherever I am, and that is a nice feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetadeline Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 wow! sometimes you find just the thread you need at just the point when you need it most. i too usually find a deep sense of security in the arms of someone who cares about me. but a recent breakup and a longish while of singledom prior to it have made me think hard about how i can create a sense of safety and well-being for myself. like you, moimeme, it's been a long time since i've enjoyed all of the big three--a secure job, home, and relationship--at once. and for those of us who don't have much family, finding security there is not an option. so one thing i've tried is to focus on friendships. reminding myself of my friends, whether by looking at photos or by sending them e-mails or wearing earrings they've given me, can be very helpful. yes, people do come and go, but reminding myself of people in my life who love me reminds me that, even if these friends disappear at some point (which i very much hope they don't!), there will be others--that my life will always contain that form of love. also (and this is a little embarrassing), i have gotten into the habit of buying a small, inexpensive piece of jewelry--from a craft fair or farmer's market--for myself after every breakup. i think of them as little symbols of my ability to bounce back and move forward. but having said all of this, i am aware that i am still not able to tap into "thoughts of my own strength" or a sense of my "skills/abilities/knowledge" as often/strongly as i would like. i feel as tho' i still look more to the external than the internal. can those of you who mentioned these as your symbols of security say more about how you manage to *access* those feelings of self-sufficiency and self-confidence? for example, do you think back to other things you've overcome and say, i got through that, so i'll get through this? do you remember times in your life when you felt strong and channel that strength into the present somehow? great thread! thanks to all who have posted so far! sweetadeline Link to post Share on other sites
silk_sword Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 Hey silk- i'm glad you're so happy. thanks thinkalot. it's good to be happy. can those of you who mentioned these as your symbols of security say more about how you manage to *access* those feelings of self-sufficiency and self-confidence? i can't say for sure. i find it a challenge that something or someone believes they are capable of bringing me down. of course, things and people don't truly plan (in most cases) another's downfall. i just will never allow myself to be a victim. i know that i have the control over my life and that i make the decisions in my life. i am responsible for my happiness. even if others bring me sadness, i am capable of altering/transending that state. but, if i'm sad, i still give myself time to mourn and heal. i just pick myself up afterwards. it's all i believe one can do. i believe people just have to continue on. people most go on living, breathing, experiencing, progressing, feeling, learning, etc. the alternative is death or simply existing without purpose/reason (which seems worse than death). i choose to always carry on. perhaps that is y i do. once you make a commitment to yourself, choose not to break it. i don't have great advice on getting rid of pain. i don't have much wisdom to give on will power or motivation. all i can do is hope that you find the strength that you desire. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyangel Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 What makes me feel safe and secure? My husband My son and stepson My family - sisters, brother and parents My dogs My college degree which ensures that I could make it on my own if I had to The top four have to do with love, so I'd have to say that love definitely gives a sense of security. Link to post Share on other sites
Matilda Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 My husband, my children, my college degree and professional experience, my parents, living in a smallish and safe town, my cell phone. Link to post Share on other sites
padparadscha Posted May 22, 2004 Share Posted May 22, 2004 When I am in pain and feeling like I have no friends that can provide me with comfort, my safety Zone is the beach. I drive to the beach. The water is so mysterious at the ocean and the animals near the ocean so peaceful an yet so strong. My symbols of safety and security would have to be the water, the sound of the water, the smell of the water and the beautiful boats on the water. Books on tape give me a reason to smile or just wonder. I love to get into a good Dean Koontz novel while taking a long drive. Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted May 22, 2004 Share Posted May 22, 2004 The ideas and images that I have in my head from all of the books I've read, the people I've known, the music I've listened to and the places I've been. Link to post Share on other sites
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