loveletters Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 :(so, i last posted here on October 6th - saying that I had officially ended things with MM. It's been 3 weeks since we've last spoke. I see him at work, which is so hard for me. When I first ended things with him I felt so strong, like I was on top of the world - but yesterday at work just proved to me that I am still weak as ever. I get to work & run through the backroom (not knowing he was there) because I was running late for work, I had to clock in. I heard his voice & my heart dropped to my stomach. We hadn't spoke or seen each other in such a long time, hearing his voice again made me weak. I was only working for 5 hours & I was happy to make my shift short and sweet! I tried my best avoiding him - but I caught him staring at a girl the way he used to stare at me. I know that the cycle of cheating will never end with him.... As I walked by, that girl called me over and told me how creepy he was to her, and how she wanted to go tell the HR on him.. I encouraged it. Simply because I don't want any other young females like me to fall prey to his predator antics, & have to deal with his lies & hurt. I couldn't believe how easy it was for him to just move on & forget me as if everything we did never happened On Thursday, he surprisingly came up to me and said "HELLO" but he said it very mean & with an attitude.. I sorta jumped back and said " Hi?? " As if I was saying wtf.. Then I went to the back room to get something & he came up to me and asked why I wasn't talking to him anymore. I didnt say anything, and then he asked how I was doing. But yesterday at work was totally different. How can he forget me so easily, how does he make it seem like I'm nothing. He's not hurting like me, he's going about his perfect life with his wife and kids, and flirting at work.. INFRONT of me & not giving a **** about anything he ever told me or our sweet moments. We talked so much and he was always there to listen to me & my stressful moments... does he not care??? I wish he would at least show me he still cares.. I did see him watching me and another male coworker talk from afar. but other then that, that was it. No signs, no body language to tell me that he still thinks about me or anything.. I dont know why Im writing this post, I should be over his ass already! I'm just hurt & yesterday just made me realize how officially OVER we are. I'm so heartbroken today, I've actually been feeling like this for a good week and a half, to the point I can't concentrate at work.. Sigh..... Do you think he still cares about me, or thinks about me the way I do him? I can't even begin to talk to another guy without him popping into my head. This sucks, I feel so lonely. Link to post Share on other sites
Yianks Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 Hello. Let me give you my perspective: (1) He cares but he feels so uncomfortable around you that he fakes indifference. Regardless how much he cares about you he goes back to his wife and kids and you are left with so much pain knowing that he cares and feels for you. (2) He does not care for you thats why the indifferent behavior. He still goes back to his wife and kids however you are eventually convinced that he does not care and you mourn the total loss. Which of the above two perspectives would you prefer? I would certainly go for the second one and move on with my life. Afterall, the best 'revenge' is to make yourself happy, so hope that the second one is happening. Link to post Share on other sites
findingnemo Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 So sorry loveletters that you feel so bad. It is hard to see xMM all the time at work. But unless you change jobs, you've got to remain steadfast and move on. You just said he was ogling another girl and she even discussed it with you. Not that I encourage vindictive behavior but I think that advising her to go ahead and report to HR was the right thing to do. After all, when she asked if she should, saying no would be encouraging the start of another A and that's worse than helping his a** get busted in my book. As you feel the loss of MM, please remember what a jacka** he is. Never forget that!! Keep posting here so that you can get daily support to keep you going. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveletters Posted October 29, 2011 Author Share Posted October 29, 2011 I kind of think he wanted to end it too. Right before our last blow out, he stopped texting me, calling me & never showed up when he said he would. I figured things were dying down between us. It was such a lovely, passionate & romantic experience in our first few months together & everything happened so fast, that I guess he got bored really quick. I admit I started getting bored too but I fell hard for him. I still love & care for him & wish him the best. As angry as I am towards him, I still feel these things for him. I forgot to mention after our blowout, he came up to me and gave me a hug and a kiss and said " I'm going to miss you" & left. This & his silence just lets me know everything. I'm so torn. I keep wishing and hoping he would give me a call right now on my work phone. He usually did every weekend & now my phones are silent. OH well.. Ill update later with how things are going. I might have to work with him tomorrow morning, so that should be even tougher! Thanks for listening Link to post Share on other sites
findingnemo Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 You're welcome. But......I urge you to look at him through the eyes of another person. I guarantee you that like yesterday, you may start to see some shocking truths about his true nature. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveletters Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 I worked with him today. And he was hounding me like crazy! I would walk to the back to get some signs and he was walking right behind me. He kept coming to my area & trying to talk but I still ignored him. I just got off of work and as I went to my car - he was there WAITING for me. He asked how I was doing (again) and why I've been ignoring/avoiding him lately. Does he not realize that I ended it on his WIFE'S birthday???? & then he leaned in and hugged me, & he started to cry. Why would he do this??? Why would he cry infront of me after he hugged me, then he apologized and said "I'm sorry for crying, I don't know why.. You make me feel like this.. I just don't know.." It was so STRANGE. Either he's trying to make me feel bad & win me back, or he's genuinely feeling some type of remorse.... What do you ladies think? Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 I think he likes your attention. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts