carhill Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Probably no surprise but I got the middle of the night sobbing phone calls, the blow by blow of whatever abuse occurred, the size of the relevant men's 'equipment' and how things went in the bedroom, what the kids were up to....bla bla. Longest version lasted about eight years; shortest about six months. There were others who for some reason saw me as a therapist but didn't have any 'feelings' as far as I could tell, so I won't count those as AP's. Unfortunately, I had to look some of those H's in the eye knowing their 'business'. Blah. Longest stayed married twenty years before 'escaping'. Shortest divorced within a year. AFAIK, all are with other men now. Good for them In my own case, I revealed a few data points of my frustrations with being ignored by my exW and my 'OW' got a chance to see her in action firsthand, but that was the extent of it. I tended to focus on more positive things since there was so much frustration going on in general, not just with my exW. The EA was a temporary escape from that frustration so I felt no need to rehash it all. I broke the therapist hat out of retirement to help one specific LS'er and now, with that concluded, it's retired for good. I don't want to hear the details of someone else's M IRL ever again Link to post Share on other sites
airynmacy Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 OP: The MM and I often share personal details concerning our “home lives”… but always in vague terms. It’s most likely a way to protect one another (hell, ourselves) from feeling too guilty about our narcissistic and selfish behavior. At the office we carry on as if everything is normal. He jokes about his W and kids, tells the office funny things they did or said. But when we are alone together we don’t use names. It’s always “Someone”. He doesn’t complain to me about the stuff his W won’t do for him and I don’t talk about my H. We got that all out of our systems early on in the A. That being said “my” MM has a tendency to pry. He is possessive (of another man’s W!? I know, it’s twisted) and sometimes asks questions he doesn’t like the answers too. But my policy is, if you don’t want to know the answer, don’t ask the question. I don’t care about his happenings at home. Link to post Share on other sites
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