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Broken up one month, I am a wreck after hearing the news


TheGrimSweeper

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TheGrimSweeper

Well my ex broke up with me just over a month ago. She slowly got more distant, blamed everything on me and was gone after 2.5 year relationship. We had talk of marriage / kids everything.

 

Found out last night (wish I hadn't) that almost immediately after we had broken up she started sleeping with a 32 year old guy with two kids whom she worked with (she is 21). Apparently he recently just dumped her and moved back to Montreal (which im pretty sure he knew he was going to do as it was only a temp job).

 

I'm a wreck again, this feels like the first day.. The thought of this honestly makes me want to vomit. Yes she's single and entitled todo what she wants, but I honestly feel like I have no idea who she is anymore. I cant get that mental image out of my head.

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Im sorry, Im laughing at the situation.

 

You are going to laugh at it one day trust me. You will be able to spot these people a mile away, a mile away. You have no concept of how strong and confident you are going to be after this.

 

You dont see the red flags yet but when you do, you are going to feel some pain and be like WTF was i thinking. Trust me my ex was in the red flag factory making them... 24 left me for a 38 year old...its alright man, you are so better off

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This is my favorite post on this entire forum, its so true

 

You might have talked about marriage, but you weren't married. Realizing there's a certain expectation (not to mention feeling so close to something you really wanted) is one of the reasons you've having problems coping. Understand and remind yourself that you didn't marry. And frankly, be glad you didn't.

 

You may not realize this now, but you were generally played. Things were going fine until you slipped, said something inappropriate or was caught in a bad mood. At that point, she realized you were capable of expressing yourself outside the realm of her control, and it angered her. This isn't love, or at least not the kind you want to get hitched to long term. If a woman loves you for you, because of you and how you are, she'll be more than willing to put up with the ups and downs. It's a different thing if you're exposed as a liar or a cheat, but frankly, if a woman's feelings (or needs) are strong enough, many will let that slide too...for a time anyway.

 

Stop being so hard on yourself. You tried. Everyone gets hooked on someone that just isn't right for them at one point for another, and the reality that it won't work is painful. It may not seem possible, but someday you'll be overjoyed it didn't. Real love, real dedication, real romance and real desire is free of games, walking on eggshells, regret or pressure. No matter who you meet, date or marry, be careful not to lose yourself. Many make the mistake of turning their partner into their everything. Don't do that.

 

Hang in, heal and keep posting. You'll make it-

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TheGrimSweeper

You are probably 100% true, all of my friends I've talked too are saying that she clearly has issues and there were lots of red flags I saw.

 

But it still doesn't help the sick to my stomach feeling I have right now.

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TheGrimSweeper
so dead on its scray

 

 

i can spot this behavior in her friends, now im realizing that what i see in her friends is is excatly what she is.

 

f**cking toxic snakes

 

It really sucks to have fallen in love with someone like this..I just cant kick that sick to my stomach feeling.

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It happens... sorry man...

 

You eventually have to forgive yourself for this and that takes time and focusing on you

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