missgirl Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 i used to be a very outgoing girl and have always been socialable, untill i got together with my boyfriend 1 year ago, who i adore! i am becoming very reliant on him and hate spending time alone or without him. i always want to be in contact with him or with him, and get very upset and paranoid if not. please help Link to post Share on other sites
Dawnster Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I think I may understand this feeling a bit. I was like that with my first bf that I had in hs, it was like that feeling for the first 2 years, after awhile it sort of mellowed out. Then after 2 more years the relationship didn't work(I actually left him due to him being a lazy moocher and various other things) The only way I could explain it is that there's an emptiness that some people carry and it's an attempt to make all other problems go away by focusing on one person. The best way it seems to me is to try to deal with more of your life stressors on you own, one at a time, all at a time, how ever you feel you should do it. Then, with those accomplished, as well as finding other things to keep you busy (projects,work, etc.) and try to enjoy each day as it comes, whether you're with or without him at that very moment. Part of a relationship, two halves of a whole, is being able to function while apart/working/being productive. Otherwise it may cause things to get more sour in their own way. Least, that's what I've gotten out of it. It IS possible to have too much of a good thing. Sadly Anyway, I hope things get better for you, either way. Link to post Share on other sites
TrueColors Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I totally agree with Dawnster. When one tends to get in a long-term relationship, the natural tendency is to develop more an interest in your other. Over time, if one ignores the emptiness inside themselves, this leads to a build up of resentment. The worst thing one can do is start to blame - either overtly or covertly - their partner I think this is what causes most relationships to break-up: because whether we realise it or not, we look to others to fill us up and provide a love that is whole. It is impossible to do this! What I would suggest doing is thinking about what you want out of life, away from your relationship. What hobbies do you enjoy? What would you love to learn? You don't have to drop your boyfriend. If you can, it might help to talk to him about it, just so that he's aware if you seem upset or moody. Jut make sure you take responsibility for your feelings and don't try to blame him! I think the key is to create balance in all areas of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
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