Condescending coworker: how to deal?

[SpiralOut]

I'm editing this because I don't think so much detail needs to be given

 

Basically, this guy speaks down to me sometimes and it's getting on my nerves. I do a good job. Management likes me. He makes mistakes all the time but I'm not rude to him about it. Yet I get this feeling from him that he is looking to find things wrong with what I do.

 

There is someone else at work he speaks down to also, so it's not just me. I don't know if he is threatened by me in some way or what is going on. The strangest thing so far is that lately he likes to ask me questions that he SHOULD know the answer to. These questions annoy me because I don't know if he's being serious or not, and I don't think I should have to explain basic concepts to him that he should already know. But if I go for long enough without saying anything, he'll answer his own question. I don't know if he's testing me to see how much I know, or if he just has a bad memory. I have no clue.

 

Last week he gave me a hard time over something I had trouble knowing how to fix because I was covering for someone else who was on vacation. I don't usually do that job and he knows that. He was quite rude to me about it. He has no authority over me so I am not sure where his attitude is coming from.

 

How would you respond to someone like this? I've had problems with him before that I've learned how to deal with (eg him trying to boss me around) but this condescending attitude is something I'm having trouble with. I've started to document incidents, but in the meantime what comebacks can I give to him?

Edited October 31, 2011 by SpiralOut

[Lobouspo]

I kind of went through a similar situation a few years back. I did something kind of funny and outside the box. I copied some articles on the internet about harassment in the workplace (not sexual mind you, just general harassment) and the seriousness and potential legal ramifications of it and anonymously put them in this guys box. He obviously knew it was me and came to my office about it. I told him i was documenting everything and if it continues the consequences " are in the reading material i gave you". Totally caught this guy off guard and i had no more prob lems with him.

[PlumPrincess]

I kind of went through a similar situation a few years back. I did something kind of funny and outside the box. I copied some articles on the internet about harassment in the workplace (not sexual mind you, just general harassment) and the seriousness and potential legal ramifications of it and anonymously put them in this guys box. He obviously knew it was me and came to my office about it. I told him i was documenting everything and if it continues the consequences " are in the reading material i gave you". Totally caught this guy off guard and i had no more prob lems with him.

Sounds like a good idea! I have to mark that down.

[Cee]

Since he's a peer, the simplest thing to do is have a brief 5 minute "meeting" and confront him on his behavior. If you only talk about his behavior and not his motivations, you will have an easier time being neutral and even handed. Since you have been documenting these incidents, it will be easier to give him concrete instances.

 

The reason I suggest direct confrontation is not that it will work, but because it's an important job skill. If you cannot confront that kind of behavior in the workplace, you will have a hard time advancing your career. In jobs, often you have to do the hard thing and speak up. You won't get promotions or get what you want, unless you ask for it in a firm and assertive way.

 

You can also say that if his behavior does not change toward you, you will speak to your supervisor because his behavior is creating an unpleasant work environment for you.

[Leegh]

Since he's a peer, the simplest thing to do is have a brief 5 minute "meeting" and confront him on his behavior. If you only talk about his behavior and not his motivations, you will have an easier time being neutral and even handed. Since you have been documenting these incidents, it will be easier to give him concrete instances.

 

The reason I suggest direct confrontation is not that it will work, but because it's an important job skill. If you cannot confront that kind of behavior in the workplace, you will have a hard time advancing your career. In jobs, often you have to do the hard thing and speak up. You won't get promotions or get what you want, unless you ask for it in a firm and assertive way.

 

You can also say that if his behavior does not change toward you, you will speak to your supervisor because his behavior is creating an unpleasant work environment for you.

I agree with Cee. In addition, it sounds as if your co-worker is a very insecure person, and tries to "rain on everybody's parade", to boost his own ego. Those types of people are miserable to work with, just be thankful he's not a relative!