fenderjames Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Felt reasonably human since Thursday . Dont know why . Didnt really miss her that much . Almost 3 months NC . Tonite it seems to be kicking back in . I miss her again , cant figure out what triggered it . Except my random thought brain kicking in . Damn ! I guess its progress though . Link to post Share on other sites
TheJiltedGeneration Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 (edited) same situation right now as well ( well similar) at the moment watching luther just as a means to take my mind off it.. (even though its just gone 1am) I think to myself its been 3 (nearly 4) months since NC and a week since I have checked up on any updates on her page ( **** stomach is churning like its full of battery acid..) which I am proud of... as in my own way and through my own lessons I know I am capable of being happy independent and w/o her games... I am not sure of your circumstances entirely but I read a few of your posts to get some idea of the situation (I read your "post on page instead of ex" insert a little) she said she was getting married or something ( correct me if I am wrong) pretty soon just out of the blue like that, well obviously she could have been more forward and told you WAY MORE in advance if she really cared about your feelings... so it seems to me at least that she used you a bit like a way station for comfort until something else opened up ( tempting since she's a single mother and all.. did you help support her and stuff?, sorry if I sound cold just it sounds like she kind of used ya m8..) I really dont think I would want to dedicate my life to someone like that... NC feels like a burden I know .. but really it's a means to allow ourselves to adapt to what's happened and our own time to realize how better off we are than trying to maintain broken relationships that are more tasking that they are worth.. . It sounds like from what you've had to really sacrifice alot to make this work with this woman ( single mother, previous problems and stuff I assume) and in the end she just left you pretty abruptly.... like the services you provided were no longer required... its hard to comment as I dont know all the situation. . but at least now you wont have to bear her weight as she has previously leaned on your shoulder... the worst is yet to come I will admit.. but once your out of the mindset that you need her and that you actually don't need her.., you'll realize that you deserve so much better.... Edited October 31, 2011 by TheJiltedGeneration Link to post Share on other sites
Aqua066 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Well said TJG! Link to post Share on other sites
Author fenderjames Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 Hi Jilt , she was married before we started seeing each other . Her husband at the time left her for some chick he met in Cuba , she was stuck with the house and all the bills . A yr went buy she got herself straightened out and got a smaller house for her and her daughter . Thats when we got together . After a yr her divorce was finalized and things went downhill for me pretty much at that point . Shes actually a very strong woman , but Im starting to think now that once her div. was official she prob felt a hugh weight lift and maybe wanted to be without a man in her life . As far as the abrupt / NC/ no explanation ending ... well thats the part that really hurts . And yeah I miss her alot , but its really starting to sink in how much it bugs me she did it this way . I really don't know tht I'll ever see her again . Im starting to be OK with that . Thanks for your response to the post . Hope your coping allright this evening . Cheers Link to post Share on other sites
Trovador Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Sorry to hear this, man... Look, I don't know anything about my ex since about 3 months, and of course I've missed her a bit, but not too much... I think of her some times during the day, but then again I think about all my exes... I guess I don't feel anything for her and I don't wish to see her or talk to her or hear from her in any way... Last night for the first time in a lot of time I dreamed of her and guess what, we were kissing passionately... it was odd, I don't even remember thinking specifically of her, I must have done it of course, but I don't recall an exact moment or being a special memory... But that dream meant nothing to me, nothing... I just wondered about the mysterious ways the mind works... BTW there is a new girl in the picture... I'd have moved on anyway, but a new romantic interest helped a bit... Link to post Share on other sites
Author fenderjames Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 Thanks Trov , glad to hear you're'doing well , I'm looking forward to that day ! Link to post Share on other sites
TheJiltedGeneration Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 (edited) Hi Jilt , she was married before we started seeing each other . Her husband at the time left her for some chick he met in Cuba , she was stuck with the house and all the bills . A yr went buy she got herself straightened out and got a smaller house for her and her daughter . Thats when we got together . After a yr her divorce was finalized and things went downhill for me pretty much at that point . Shes actually a very strong woman , but Im starting to think now that once her div. was official she prob felt a hugh weight lift and maybe wanted to be without a man in her life . As far as the abrupt / NC/ no explanation ending ... well thats the part that really hurts . And yeah I miss her alot , but its really starting to sink in how much it bugs me she did it this way . I really don't know tht I'll ever see her again . Im starting to be OK with that . Thanks for your response to the post . Hope your coping allright this evening . Cheers ah I c.. that does really suck... It's strange that she completely broke ties inexplicably just AFTER the div. papers where finalized... but its probably like you said.. she probably doesn't want to work on a relationship... perhaps even, instead she wants to focalize all her efforts with her child ( happened with my mother when I was young) ... fair enough ... but she STILL should have given you a explanation to why she must cut ties, she owes you that much... well.. hate to say this I think it's unfortunately a rule of thumb that if a ex doesn't contact for over a month that yea they have moved on, as her lack of contact speaks volumes to me at least.. I mean maybe she just didn't want you to get involved with her S*** like custody battles with her child, that kind of thing, but then again she could have still have easily told you.. (sounds like your feelings aren't even part of the equation with her right now.. ) who knows maybe when she gets everything together ( she probably has a one track mind at the moment with all of what this new life style implies..) she could realize what she has lost with you, but for the time being her mind is set on settling with her new life so let her do so but let this be a opportunity for you to settle too.. otherwise I think you'll find you'll always be second fiddle to her current predicament and priorities.., and being sidelined each time might hurt more than what you're going through right now.. I think it would be a lot better to be with some one who is secure in their lifestyle to give you the attention you deserve right now.. so my advice is to cut your losses and move on.. Edited October 31, 2011 by TheJiltedGeneration Link to post Share on other sites
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