Guy with orgasm trouble

[Fran]

I am dating a 26 year old guy, and I not sure if he is normal. He cannot ejaculate twice in one night, either during sex while he is wearing a condom, or if I masterbate him. I am doing everything to make him feel good, but every time we change positions during sex, he loses his erection and has trouble getting it "back up". (Sorry to be so graphic in this post, but there is no other way to explain this problem) He usually can ejaculate the first time we make love, but then if we try to have sex again an hour later, its virtually impossible for him to cum. Then instead of making love, I try to touch him, he gets an erection, but I end up spending at least 20 minutes touching him, and no orgasm. I have asked him why it is so difficult for him to ejaculate, and why he loses his erection so quickly, but he does not know. I am not ugly, and I know I turn men on, so its not me!! He also is a very unaffectionate person when it comes to kissing, hugging, cuddling, unless it involes the direct act of sex or if he wants to fooling around. Could this guy be gay? Does he have a sexual problem? I don't know what to do...the guy is only 26 and should be a sex machine at his age! Please help any males out there who have advice!!!

[Tony T]

It sounds like he has some serious anxiety and performance issues that go way back.

 

There are many, many possibilities for this type of problem. He may be on some medication that affects his ability to achieve orgasm often; he may masturbate unusually often (that will do it every time); he may be under a lot of stress at work, school, etc. or have a lot of worries about finances, etc. that occupy his mind (don't forget, sex is mostly in the mind), there may be an array of unresolved psychological issues going here, etc. You can read a text for a complete listing of all the cyndromes and circumstances that can cause his problem at any bookstore or library. I'm sure there are sites on the Internet as well.

 

In the normal course of aging, men usually are unable to have more than one ejaculation in a five or six hour period, usually after 35 or 40...sometimes sooner and sometimes later.

 

If he goes to a doctor and cannot get a handle on this and it is so very important to you, of course you'll have to make a decision on whether to keep him around.

 

I don't think he is gay or bisexual. I just think there are biological or psychological factors playing into this that you are not aware of. And don't be offended, it has nothing to do with you. I'm sure if he could, he would have sex with you all night long.