a little lost..

[radleyshea]

Well my now ex-boyfriend and I have been rocky for a bit.. fighting when we're drunk mostly, which wasn't good. We decided to take a break like two or three weeks ago but one day in he was like, I don't want a break anymore and I want to be with you. So we were fine and having a lot of fun at his place Friday night. Then we went to some party by his place and I was drunk and trying to get his attention, but he wasn't listening so we started fighting inside the party and it wasn't good. I was going to go outside to talk to my friend and I threw his drink on him, which I regret SO much. And he starts screaming at me "we're done".

 

But we went back to my friend's place and the 3 of us talked it out. He wanted me to stay there and go home in the morning and then call him when I get home. I thought it would be okay cause I got sick and he was holding my hair and making sure I was okay and everything. He even hugged me and when we sat down he had his arm around me rubbing my back. I thought if I gave him what he wanted, it would probably be okay. Then I remembered my friends were going to come up and they were planning on staying at his place with me, and when my friend talked to him about it, he said he didn't know. I saw him walking later that night and I was going to ignore him, but stupid me brought up my friends again and he was like no, I'm serious about breaking up. I just didn't think it was real.

 

So I went home and called him yesterday and he was like I can't be with you and the only way to get over this is to cut you out of my life. And he said if I called or texted him, he wouldn't answer. This whole week and Friday he kept saying that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, so I don't know how it got to this :/ I have no idea what to do, and obviously I'm still in love with him and this is killing me. My friends say that he just doesn't know what he wants. Last time we broke up (because after 2 months of dating we realized we didn't know eachother that well) I didn't talk to him at all for 3 weeks, and he started missing me and texting and calling. We decided to spend time with eachother and build a friendship before we start working on a relationship. I hope that happens again but since he deleted me and all, I'm afraid he's just gonna forget about me.

 

I just need some advice on what I should do :/ My friends are saying wait a bit until he cools down to talk to him again. They tell me he was acting irrationally and that he just needs time to realize he is missing me. All I want is for him to miss me and talk to me again. Help!

Edited October 31, 2011 by radleyshea

[radleyshea]

okay so here's an update & i need advice!!

 

so counseling has been going well, and i'm feeling much better! on friday my grandfather suddenly passed away, so the boy problem kinda took a back seat. i was concentrating on being strong for my family, like my ex wanted me to do and it is my main goal in counseling. i felt amazing and i was staying busy. saturday night after i got home from a party, the ex called totally out of nowhere!!! he told me that he misses me and wants to be with me for the rest of his life. we also talked about meeting up friday and i was excited that he was finally talking to me. he even said that he realized a difference in the way i handled the situation. he was the one crying, and i was calm and collected. the next day, he was texting me commenting on how cute i am and how he can't stay away from me. he also said that he wanted to wait until thanksgiving break to meet up again. he said trust me i want to see you friday, but i think it's too soon. i agreed because thanksgiving break was my original plan. it really was perfect. then we went back to not talking. after talking about it at counseling on tuesday, i realized that i wasn't completely expressing how i feel to him, with the uncertainty of our relationship. it was really bugging me so i needed to talk to him about it, which i kinda regret. he said that he feels two ways.. he wants to ignore me and get over me and then the other side of him overpowers him because he misses me and wants to be with me. he said he didn't want to confuse me and give me hope that we will definitely get back together so he said i wish i didn't say what i said on saturday. which hurt really bad. then he went back to saying i miss you and i want you to come up friday. he said he wanted to take me out to dinner and then i could spend the night. then he concluded that it wasn't a good idea. he said he didn't want to hurt me at all.

 

after hanging up and giving it time, i agreed. i texted him apologizing and said that friday is too soon and that i was sorry for being emotional because counseling and the funeral was just too much for me. i ended it with "i just hope you understand". hours later, he said that it was okay and he does understand. he also appreciated me texting him that. he also gave me advice about getting through my loss, and i told him i know i'll be strong and get through it.

 

not expecting a response, right after that, he calls again. it was a good and fun conversation this time. i was back to being calm and collected, like saturday. we talked about random things, and then he started saying how cute i was again and how he likes flirting with me. we also talked about eventually meeting up. i told him that if it happens or doesn't happen, it will be fine. i'm just taking everything one day at a time, and i told him to do the same.

 

gahh it just sucks cause i know how he feels and i hate the uncertainty of this whole situation :/ my friends are saying that it is good that he's talking to me again. i thanked him for his advice yesterday and he texted back "no prob :)" now i'm just going back to not contacting him until he does. he will be alone in his apartment all weekend, so my friends told me he will definitely be lonely and want to talk. i just need help on where to go from here :/

[Popehappycat]

I don't know what the problem is. You both put a self imposed break in there, so what are you freaking out about? Maybe learn some self control with alcohol and you can avoid this petty bullsh*t in the future.