i'm afraid of both!!!

[summerlove]

Hi I have a long story but ill make it as short as I can!

 

Ive been with a guy for almost a year now. We started dating june 1 2003 now its almost a year and we have been taking a break now for almost 2 months ( april & may )

 

we still talk almost everyday only once though on the phone and I get to see him every 2 nights if I want. We are so in love.we both feel it when were together and now he wants me back. If I take him back I know that I’m going to still feel like were still taking that break. I want the old us and it will never go back to the way things were before the break. I love this guy more than the world!

 

This is how I feel about him:

 

He don't know how much I need him

He don't know how I'd fall apart

Without his kiss, without his touch

Without his faithful lovin arms

He don't know that it's all about him,

He don't know I can't live without him

He's my world, he's my everything,

and he just doesn't even know!

 

he's the lucky one

 

I am now to the point that I would love to call if off. I’m just so scared that I will be making the biggest mistake of my life cause I know his the love of my life. He is the 3rd relationship I have been with and I know his the one. Even though I know his the one I feel like I’m having to work harder. There is so many negative things but then the positive things rule the negatives out! I don’t’ know what to do! I want him but we’ve both changed in two months and I just want it to be the old us. I know that life isn’t life without change but I’m lost with the change!

 

I’ve told him everything of how I felt and everything. He just says you need to figure your **** out.

Also I know that people say even if you do leave and your meant to be youll be back together.

 

I just don’t know?!?!?! he has gave me the choice of staying or leaving! Which do I do when I’m afraid of both!!!!

[meanon]

It sounds to me as though you have never really broken up. You still see each other and talk to each other a lot, you are still in love. I say this because I do not think you have much of an idea of what life may be like without him.

 

You love each other, you want to be together. What is it that you think will make you unhappy? The loss of the trust you had in the future before the break? Fear of change? Well you are living with those now, are you happy?

 

I don't believe that if you are meant to be together then you will be, whatever you chose. We shape our own destinies. At the moment you are allowing nameless fears to determine yours. I'm not saying you should marry the guy but you need to be clearer whether there's a problem in your relationship or a problem in your approach to life. The only way to do this is to talk it through with someone.

[meanon]

Hi bfaith,

 

Thanks for your PM. I'm replying on the thread because others may be able to help you too. You said that the issue was one of trust. I guess you worry that you can never go back to the days when you trusted each other absolutely. It's hard to give advice without knowing the detail but if you are sure that the trust can never be regained then you are best to end it.

 

If you don't know how you will feel in the future and are not very unhappy with him at the moment (positives outweighing the negatives) then it's probably worth seeing how things go. You have been in a period of uncertainty about the future for a couple of months, that is not conducive to rebuilding trust. If you want to give the relationship a chance then I would go for it and try and see the building of trust as a longer term goal that you both need to work on.

 

If you want opinions on whether it's wise to trust him (or advice on how you can encourage him to trust you again) then you'll need to tell us a little more.

 

You love each other so I think it's likely things will work out for you both, I hope so. Good luck.