Not affectionate, lacking in physical intimacy (not sexual)

[Never_Say]

Can someone learn to be more affectionate and physical (hugging, kissing, touching, cuddling) if they were not raised in that environment? This has obviously made the person very insecure and the ability to trust is next to nil......

 

Or will it take years of therapy.... ???? to overcome????

[norajane]

It depends on if they have a hang-up about it, or not.

 

I have an East Coast WASP-y friend (complete with Mayflower ancestors) whose family was not demonstrative, nor did they talk much about any issues. However, he lavishes all kinds of affection on his wife...and their dog . And it wasn't a big deal - she liked affection and was affectionate with him and he grew to be that way with her (...and their beloved dog).

 

However, another friend grew up as an air force brat with a dad who was always busy or away, and a mom who was distracted...and he still doesn't like being touched. He has some other issues related to his growing up environment, and is in therapy. He's loving with his kids and his wife, but it's restrained. Oh, but he uses words to bridge the gap - he has no trouble expressing his thoughts and feelings and affection with words.

Edited November 1, 2011 by norajane