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One week down, a life time to go...


AlisaMarie

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I have been on this site for far too long about the same person. It as been a roller coaster ride and at this point- I am convinced I was mentally abused and as sick as he was for letting it go on for so long.

 

Narcissism can be very attractive. You can flounder in a dream world that this sick individual has it all right... but when you are the object of pain repeatedly- you start to snap out of it.

 

One of many breakups just happened a week ago. It hurts like a bitch every time but this is where I need everyone's help! He always comes back... lurking around confessing his sickness and mistakes and I am the only one that gets it.

 

Now me being my co-dependent self... I am here to save the day! And him! WRONG! It's not going down like that anymore. I cannot put myself through that. I made myself happy by trying to make him happy (which NEVER worked). Nothing was ever enough and I was still put down and ignored but still expected to give up my time, life, and dignity for him! Gas lighting was his specialty! (you never loved me, you never did anything for me, you've changed, you've been a b*tch to me.) I actually thought of ways to change myself but stopped and thought "what the EFF?" I gave him perfectness on a daily with ZERO QUAMS!

 

I wish I never met him, and I don't wish him the best and happiness. I just pray that he goes through life realizing his mental state and does something about it. He has a small child that I worry about every day.

 

Thank you for listening. I know that if you read my old posts you will think that it's my own fault for playing the game for so long, but I have a slight illness as well (co-dependency). If you have been involved with someone with a personality disorder, then you understand how hard it is to get out.

 

Thank GOD for LS. You have always been here for me when nobody else gets it.

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