is he a victim of some 'trashy girls' drama, or should I be concerned?

[Wrenne]

I have been dating a great guy for about 8 or 9 months. I have a very good, demanding job and work all the time (60-70 hours a week), and he's in grad school so he has a lot more free time than I do. I spend almost all of my little free time with him, but he naturally spends a lot of time without me.

 

Recently, he told me that about a month ago, his good friends 'trashy sister' got drunk and started flirting with him, and then claimed he was being 'creepy'. He stopped talking to his good friend (who he used to hang out with a lot) because she took her sisters side. Apparently good friend called him and yelled at him for flirting with her sister, saying that it was disrespectful to me, etc. They haven't spoken or hung out since. He said 'trashy sister' knew about me (although I didn't know she even existed) and that he and his good friend and trashy sister got into a huge fight because he was worried that they were causing drama and didn't want to do anything to put our relationship in jeopardy.

 

Of course, I normally would take his word and not worry about what some girl was saying, but I have so many doubts...

 

1. He waited an entire month to tell me about this. Is that ok? I tell him about what is going on in my life.

2. He used to hang out with this good friend ('trashy sister's sister) a lot, almost every weekend. I had no idea that she even had a sister. He would hang out at their grandmothers house, do favors for the family, etc. It makes me wonder if he hung out with 'trashy sister' too but failed to mention this to me on purpose bc it would have made me uncomfortable. I only meet his good friend once, but was comfortable with their relationship because they were old friends.

3. The day this happened, he told me he was at a bar hanging out with his roommate and his friends, he didn't say anything about 'trashy sister' (or any other girls) being there. It makes me think he must have invited her and not told me.

 

This kind of thing would never happen with me because all I do is work and hang out with my boyfriend (and family/good friends). I am a very faithful gf and have good boundaries so I can't see myself even getting into a situation where a guy would be drunk/flirting with me or anything. All of my friends are very respectful of other peoples relationships and not 'trashy'.

 

I want to encourage him to talk to me about things and don't want to grill him on the incident. But I can't help thinking that maybe I can't trust him because i don't really know much about what is going on in his life, apparently. if you were in my situation, would you trust your guy or would you be concerned?

[Space Ritual]

"When considering a relationship of any kind, practice the Rule of Threes regarding the claims and promises a person makes, and the responsibilities he or she has. One lie, one broken promise or a single neglected responsibiltiy may be a misunderstanding instead. Two may involve a serious mistake. But three lies says you're dealing with a liar, and deceit is the linchipin of conscienceless behavior. Cut your losses and get out as soon as you can. Leaving, though it may be hard, will be easier now than later, and less costly. Do not give your money, your work, your secrets or your affection to a three-timer. Your valuable gifts will be wasted."

 

That is the rule of three lies....

 

In all honesty, trust your gut. What is it telling you?