collegeguy_24 Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 Its been a long time since I posted here, but I felt the need to share this. I have finally found peace. It took me over a year, but I have done it. I still miss my ex a little, but I no longer pine for her. I can easily handle a friendship now if she wanted with no threat of past feelings surfacing. I can now run into her around town and no longer feel scared or nervous. I have come to terms and found my inner peace. It took me a bit, and I needed a lot of help, but I finally was able to do it. I have come to terms with what happened between us and hve now moved on. Let this be a lesson for others out there, it is possible. It will hurt, it will be hard, but like me, you can do it, you can move on and find peace. Link to post Share on other sites
AlisaMarie Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 Hey! I remember when you started posting! I am so happy for you... I wish I could share the same success story. I actually got back together and broke up with my ex twice since then. I am in the very same spot I was a year ago...only with more time vested. I wish I would've stayed NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Moetato Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 That is awesome that you have reached peace! I cannot wait until I reach that point. It just sucks that it can take a very long time. Link to post Share on other sites
lymtal1 Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 cg24, great for you to have gotten to this place. what do you think were the most important lessons that you learned to get there? What did you do/not do that made it successful? i think there are many of us out here that need to know we are on the right process path. if you don't mind sharing. Thanks so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author collegeguy_24 Posted November 2, 2011 Author Share Posted November 2, 2011 cg24, great for you to have gotten to this place. what do you think were the most important lessons that you learned to get there? What did you do/not do that made it successful? i think there are many of us out here that need to know we are on the right process path. if you don't mind sharing. Thanks so much. I have no problem sharing if it helps others The most important lesson I learned was that it was over. My ex made it clear when she left for someone else, but a part of me always held out hope that she would come back because I love her. However, I had to keep telling myself that its done, she made her choice and I need to accept it. This was hard for me because I tend to have an obsessive personality, but I just kept at it. What I did to make it successful was two fold. First, I looked at my relationship and tried to see what I did wrong. Cause obviously she wouldn't have left me if I did nothing wrong. What i learned was that I was not a man. I always deferred to her, asked her for advice or opinions and never made a decision. What she wanted, and what most women want, is a man. Someone who is independent, who can make decisions, confidant, etc. I saw that, and I changed myself. I became a man, and while it was to late to get her back, it has proven to be a good change. My life has turned around. I can now take risks, make decisions, I am confidant in myself, etc. I am a man, and this discovery has changed me for the better. The other thing I did was I discovered that I love cars, sport cars especially. So whenever I thought about my ex or our relationship, I would instead automatically think about cars. Turn a depressing thought into a joyful thought so to speak. Eventually, I just stopped thinking about her all together, and that has helped me move on. I hope this is of use to people here. Link to post Share on other sites
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