Is A Guy Liking Your Personality Really A Good Thing?

[AD1980]

I already know that

 

It will make SOME women who are initially interested in you more attracted to you, though --- rather than deter them.

 

Self-confidence does not mean everyone's going to be attracted to you, I think that's impossible. But it tends to increase interest and not scare away the ones who already are.

 

Some of us cant find ones who are initially interested unfortunately

[Nexus One]

I wonder how he got started?

 

That type of confidence certainly isn't normal.

 

I'm guessing that he somehow got really lucky as a teenager and then the confidence just exploded.

 

Even though I've known him since we were kids, I'm not sure how he developed his level of confidence. What's relevant is that the confidence thing is not some fairy tale, it works.

Edited November 2, 2011 by Nexus One

[somedude81]

Even though I've known him since we were kids, I'm not sure how he developed his level of confidence. What's relevant is that the confidence thing is not some fairy tale, it works.

Of course it works, but getting that level of confidence is a fairy tale.

 

I bet he had some girl come on to him when he was younger, baby sitter maybe? Or maybe the first girls he had crushes on ended up liking him.

 

Basically, my belief is confidence like that is dependent on luck. I just havent gotten lucky, and my confidence never developed.

 

BTW, why did you ask how many women I've been rejected by?

 

Also, the number that actually said yes, to the point of me being able to at least kiss them has been zero.

[staticline]

I don't think it's too much for anybody to ask for physical and emotional attraction in their relationships! I don't care how you rate yourself, or how you think others rate you, there will always be somebody to whom you are sexy and attractive and to who you are attracted in turn. People have such a diverse range of tastes and preferences!

 

To say he finds your personality "makes up" for a lack of physical attraction implies compromise, and I think most people if they're honest wouldn't like this. It's kind of like saying "you'll do!"

 

However, are you certain he meant this or is he just a bit clumsy with words, as many men are? I don't know how typical this is but I'm rarely instantaneously bowled over with physical attraction for somebody - often this is something which grows later when I've spent time "taking them in", different angles and lighting, all the little quirks of their appearence. This isn't something that's clearly seperate from emotional attraction either - if I like their personality I'll tend to look at them more, often I'll find their expressions appealing as they talk etc. Perhaps he has grown in physical attraction for you too, even if he immediately thought "not my type"? Just a thought.. ^^

[Nexus One]

Of course it works, but getting that level of confidence is a fairy tale.

 

I don't think it is. But you can't develop it unless you practice it in real life situations.

 

I bet he had some girl come on to him when he was younger, baby sitter maybe? Or maybe the first girls he had crushes on ended up liking him.

 

I have no idea, I've always known him as someone that just goes for what he wants.

 

Basically, my belief is confidence like that is dependent on luck. I just havent gotten lucky, and my confidence never developed.

 

Part of confidence is fearlessness, you can develop that. Some guys are naturally fearless and some need to train it.

 

BTW, why did you ask how many women I've been rejected by?

 

Because I was wondering if you were actually even trying.

 

Also, the number that actually said yes, to the point of me being able to at least kiss them has been zero.

 

One thing about players for example is that they don't waste time, they're very time efficient. You however work on a girl for months and months and then nothing comes out of it. You will probably have to move on faster, as your current strategy isn't working and you're wasting a lot of time.

[Wolf18]

I don't think this confidence stuff applies to me. I am for most intents and purposes, the "alpha male" in my group of friends. Whenever there's trouble they look to me to fight for them and they know when they're down that I'm always around for anything. Some people think I'm ballsy and proud as well as kind hearted, intelligent and sensitive to the pain of others, human and animal. But I'm also the opposite of a pansy. I work to realize these traits as they form my concept of masculinity and honor that I strive for every day.

 

If I was a woman, I would think I was an amazing catch. I don't see any problem with my appearance and I'm quite comfortable in my height (I don't even consider myself that short).

 

The problem isn't me. The problem is women. I flirt with women, they don't respond. I make my moves, they don't like it. They want to spend time with me, then **** some guy in a backwards baseball hat who belongs in a special ed school.

 

If I get overtly told by countless people that I'm confident and bold, how is my problem a lack of confidence? If I make my moves and get pushed away, ihow is the problem that I don't act?

 

The friends I have in my group, I love them all to death, but have to say one in particular is a complete wuss . He takes people's abuse without making a wimper and actually told his MOMMY when some guy from his neighborhood robbed him (he's a 24 year old man). But he's 6'3 and pretty, so he gets girls. If he was 5'7 with the same attitude, he would be a virgin. It really is that simple.

 

Personality and who you are, matter to a point, they can increase or decrease attraction but do nothing if it isn't there to begin with. How you look is what gets you laid. It's not rocket science and the only thing you can do is wait it out until age balances things out and all the guys women want are married off. Or move to another country. I'm still going to bust balls and be flirty with women, but I don't take any of it seriously and don't harbor any illusions.

Edited November 3, 2011 by Wolf18

[TheBigQuestion]

I don't think this confidence stuff applies to me. I am for most intents and purposes, the "alpha male" in my group of friends. Whenever there's trouble they look to me to fight for them and they know when they're down that I'm always around for anything. Some people think I'm ballsy and proud as well as kind hearted, intelligent and sensitive to the pain of others, human and animal. But I'm also the opposite of a pansy. I work to realize these traits as they form my concept of masculinity and honor that I strive for every day.

 

If I was a woman, I would think I was an amazing catch. I don't see any problem with my appearance and I'm quite comfortable in my height (I don't even consider myself that short).

 

The problem isn't me. The problem is women. I flirt with women, they don't respond. I make my moves, they don't like it. They want to spend time with me, then **** some guy in a backwards baseball hat who belongs in a special ed school.

 

If I get overtly told by countless people that I'm confident and bold, how is my problem a lack of confidence? If I make my moves and get pushed away, ihow is the problem that I don't act?

 

The friends I have in my group, I love them all to death, but have to say one in particular is a complete wuss . He takes people's abuse without making a wimper and actually told his MOMMY when some guy from his neighborhood robbed him (he's a 24 year old man). But he's 6'3 and pretty, so he gets girls. If he was 5'7 with the same attitude, he would be a virgin. It really is that simple.

 

Personality and who you are, matter to a point, they can increase or decrease attraction but do nothing if it isn't there to begin with. How you look is what gets you laid. It's not rocket science and the only thing you can do is wait it out until age balances things out and all the guys women want are married off. Or move to another country. I'm still going to bust balls and be flirty with women, but I don't take any of it seriously and don't harbor any illusions.

 

For most people, it's true that looks are the primary factor which leads to "getting laid." There's something to be said for personality, however, when you think about all the men out there who are not conventionally attractive but still somehow manage to get more ass than a toilet seat. I was in a fraternity in the not-so-distant-past, though not really in a place where they have much "pull." Height had nothing to do with who got laid more or who got more girlfriends. Some guys just had "it," others did not. Some guys just went after every girl possible and by sheer numbers managed to get lucky.

 

Confidence is the starting point, but anyone who tells you it's the panacea for inability to attracting women is patently dishonest. The next step is to charm the woman, to form a connection, for whatever it is you seek from her (one night stand, long-term relationship, or whatever). Your issue may be that your interactions with women, while displaying confidence, do not display much else. What are some of the things you've done in your interactions with women to display the traits about yourself that you value the most, if you've done them at all?

 

Your 6'3" friend, how many girls does he get, would you say? What is the overall quality of these women?

[jobaba]

Ah, too many posts to repsond to. I'll address the other one later as that requires more thought.

 

My first rejection came at 13. She was the first girl I ever liked. The next serious rejection came at 15, then 16, then 18. Then after being tired of getting my hard stomped on, I put a hold on girls until 22. Then I felt I was ready to open myself up again, I was rejected.

 

From 22 till 30, I've been rejected by 2-3 girls every year.

 

I have had crushes on more than one girl at a time. When it's happened there has been one girl that I really liked and another that I kind of liked.

 

Of course it works, but getting that level of confidence is a fairy tale.

 

I bet he had some girl come on to him when he was younger, baby sitter maybe? Or maybe the first girls he had crushes on ended up liking him.

 

Basically, my belief is confidence like that is dependent on luck. I just havent gotten lucky, and my confidence never developed.

 

BTW, why did you ask how many women I've been rejected by?

 

Also, the number that actually said yes, to the point of me being able to at least kiss them has been zero.

 

That's rough bro.

 

I started much later than you, and am a little older. I've been a little more successful than you, but still pretty miserable.

 

You have to realize nobody is going to feel sorry for you (though I do, because I've been there).

 

But the woman who rejected you last month is currently feeling sorry for herself because even though she had you and several other options, she wants someone better.

 

If you're confident that your clothes and haircut are good, then for you it's going to be all about numbers.

 

2 to 3 women might seem like a lot, but my numbers are more like 10-20 rejections a year. Some of them are whatevers at bars and clubs, but still. This year is not over yet and I've already been rejected 8 times or so. But I am semi-seeing one. So one success. I'm not the best person to give advice, but maybe it'll help.

 

Also, try the PUA stuff. Some of it is silly, but some of it will help. And it can't hurt.

 

BTW, reading this sh@t really makes me hate this world. And feel bitterness towards women. You seem like a good dude.

[jobaba]

I don't think this confidence stuff applies to me. I am for most intents and purposes, the "alpha male" in my group of friends. Whenever there's trouble they look to me to fight for them and they know when they're down that I'm always around for anything. Some people think I'm ballsy and proud as well as kind hearted, intelligent and sensitive to the pain of others, human and animal. But I'm also the opposite of a pansy. I work to realize these traits as they form my concept of masculinity and honor that I strive for every day.

 

If I was a woman, I would think I was an amazing catch. I don't see any problem with my appearance and I'm quite comfortable in my height (I don't even consider myself that short).

 

The problem isn't me. The problem is women. I flirt with women, they don't respond. I make my moves, they don't like it. They want to spend time with me, then **** some guy in a backwards baseball hat who belongs in a special ed school.

 

If I get overtly told by countless people that I'm confident and bold, how is my problem a lack of confidence? If I make my moves and get pushed away, ihow is the problem that I don't act?

 

The friends I have in my group, I love them all to death, but have to say one in particular is a complete wuss . He takes people's abuse without making a wimper and actually told his MOMMY when some guy from his neighborhood robbed him (he's a 24 year old man). But he's 6'3 and pretty, so he gets girls. If he was 5'7 with the same attitude, he would be a virgin. It really is that simple.

 

Personality and who you are, matter to a point, they can increase or decrease attraction but do nothing if it isn't there to begin with. How you look is what gets you laid. It's not rocket science and the only thing you can do is wait it out until age balances things out and all the guys women want are married off. Or move to another country. I'm still going to bust balls and be flirty with women, but I don't take any of it seriously and don't harbor any illusions.

 

You're still in school?

 

Go for the shy girls who seem to lack confidence, because once you're out of school, that type will disappear quick.

 

I'm guessing you'll probably be OK once you get out of school. You seem pretty confident. And if that's your pic, you'll definitely be OK. I'd even maybe consider forgetting women and concentrating on school.

 

Money and security is going to matter a LOT in 10 years. So don't overlook that.

[OnyxSnowfall]

You're still in school?

 

Go for the shy girls who seem to lack confidence, because once you're out of school, that type will disappear quick.

 

I'm guessing you'll probably be OK once you get out of school. You seem pretty confident. And if that's your pic, you'll definitely be OK. I'd even maybe consider forgetting women and concentrating on school.

 

Money and security is going to matter a LOT in 10 years. So don't overlook that.

 

Wolfy wants to be loved for his being, not his wallet - it's respectable, IMO. Unless you're alluding to it's something he should do for himself ........ then okay.

[somedude81]

That's rough bro.

 

I started much later than you, and am a little older. I've been a little more successful than you, but still pretty miserable.

 

You have to realize nobody is going to feel sorry for you (though I do, because I've been there).

 

But the woman who rejected you last month is currently feeling sorry for herself because even though she had you and several other options, she wants someone better.

Eh, I don't really care if people feel sorry for me or not. Everyone thinks their own problems are more important than everybody else's.

 

If you're confident that your clothes and haircut are good, then for you it's going to be all about numbers.

 

2 to 3 women might seem like a lot, but my numbers are more like 10-20 rejections a year. Some of them are whatevers at bars and clubs, but still. This year is not over yet and I've already been rejected 8 times or so. But I am semi-seeing one. So one success. I'm not the best person to give advice, but maybe it'll help.

The 2-3 girls is a lot because I liked each one of them. Some more than others, but there were feelings involved.

 

If I had interest in being with randoms, I could get 10-20 rejections a weekend. Then I wouldn't have a clue what to actually do if a girl said yes.

 

Also, try the PUA stuff. Some of it is silly, but some of it will help. And it can't hurt.

I've been in the PUA community for a long time. But 99% of it is about bars and clubs. Neither environment I enjoy that much.

 

So far PU hasn't been able to help me get any of the girls that I actually liked so it felt like a waste of effort.

 

BTW, reading this sh@t really makes me hate this world. And feel bitterness towards women. You seem like a good dude.

Heh, that's exactly how I feel.

 

Hate the world, hate myself, hate women, hate God. I got plenty of hate to go around.

[somedude81]

You're still in school?

 

Go for the shy girls who seem to lack confidence, because once you're out of school, that type will disappear quick.

That's what I've been trying to do, and they just don't want to date.

 

They'd just rather focus on school

[OnyxSnowfall]

Eh, I don't really care if people feel sorry for me or not. Everyone thinks their own problems are more important than everybody else's.

 

The 2-3 girls is a lot because I liked each one of them. Some more than others, but there were feelings involved.

 

If I had interest in being with randoms, I could get 10-20 rejections a weekend. Then I wouldn't have a clue what to actually do if a girl said yes.

 

I've been in the PUA community for a long time. But 99% of it is about bars and clubs. Neither environment I enjoy that much.

 

So far PU hasn't been able to help me get any of the girls that I actually liked so it felt like a waste of effort.

 

Heh, that's exactly how I feel.

 

Hate the world, hate myself, hate women, hate God. I got plenty of hate to go around.

 

I think you have outdated perceptions.

 

It'll take work to change them.

 

But only you can.

 

If you don't, you may just have to struggle through more hard times until something else gives :/ --- I think your future self would have a lot of gratitude towards the you now if you decided to let yourself believe you can feel good about yourself and enjoy what and what you are -------------- but........... what do I know? I lick ass

[jobaba]

Wolfy wants to be loved for his being, not his wallet - it's respectable, IMO. Unless you're alluding to it's something he should do for himself ........ then okay.

 

That's fine...

 

But if he flunks out of school and becomes a Dunkin Donuts manager because of his frustration with women ... or ... graduates at the top of his class, and goes to a good MBA program and pulls in a good salary, it will be a huge difference.

 

There could be nothing different about his personality in those two scenarios, yet the number of women he will be able to attract will vary exponentially.

 

Are you going to refute that?

[jobaba]

The 2-3 girls is a lot because I liked each one of them. Some more than others, but there were feelings involved.

 

Yea. Don't do that anymore. Don't invest your feelings in somebody who hasn't reciprocated attraction (a kiss).

 

It's the worst feeling in the world and will make you even more bitter. Better to act early and often.

 

Every single woman I have hooked up with (not too many) has been within one to five times of meeting her.

 

On the other hand, every woman I have gotten to know first long term has ended on the friendship/heartbreak tip.

 

I'm trying to figure out some of this stuff myself, mind you, but those have been my experiences.

[somedude81]

Yea. Don't do that anymore. Don't invest your feelings in somebody who hasn't reciprocated attraction (a kiss).

 

It's the worst feeling in the world and will make you even more bitter. Better to act early and often.

 

 

Every single woman I have hooked up with (not too many) has been within one to five times of meeting her.

 

On the other hand, every woman I have gotten to know first long term has ended on the friendship/heartbreak tip.

 

I'm trying to figure out some of this stuff myself, mind you, but those have been my experiences.

 

I've heard that before.

 

It's going to require a complete restructuring of how I think and feel about women.

 

Honestly, I feel like I should just stop talking to every girl I know.

 

The problem is then I don't know what to do when I meet new women. Most of the women I do meet and want to date, are in situations where I see them on a semi-regular basis.

 

I just have this strong feeling that if I ask out a girl right away, I'll have no chance with her. Versus after getting to know each other, my odds go up. But all waiting has done is gotten me friendships with the women I actually wanted to sleep with. And of course they reject me when I do try to pursue them.

 

Did I mention that I hate the world and women?

[jobaba]

I just have this strong feeling that if I ask out a girl right away, I'll have no chance with her. Versus after getting to know each other, my odds go up. But all waiting has done is gotten me friendships with the women I actually wanted to sleep with. And of course they reject me when I do try to pursue them.

 

Yea. That's common sense. An attribute which has led me to nothing but heartbreak in the dating world.

 

I also subscribed to the theory that courting 'less attractive' women would improve my odds. Again, common sense. Again, fail...

 

Every woman I've hooked up with has been well above what I would accept physically.

 

Like I said before, I'm still in the game too, but those are the lessons I've learned thus far.

[somedude81]

How soon do you ask out a woman after meeting her?

 

What do you talk about before you ask her out?

[Wolf18]

That's fine...

 

But if he flunks out of school and becomes a Dunkin Donuts manager because of his frustration with women ... or ... graduates at the top of his class, and goes to a good MBA program and pulls in a good salary, it will be a huge difference.

 

There could be nothing different about his personality in those two scenarios, yet the number of women he will be able to attract will vary exponentially.

 

Are you going to refute that?

 

 

I already know this.

 

I will tell you right now, I'm never going to be rich. School is a waste of time I've just invested too much to leave now, I'm probably going to do some kind of city job with the EMT's when I get out and am currently working oddjobs like painting to hold me off until then. I'm never going to be loaded to the point where it will catch many women's attention.

 

If one day I have a good living, I know women will suddenly be more interested in me as a prospect. I've been to other countries and the girls think I'm loaded because I'm from America, they seem to be much more interested in me.

 

If I do ever see this stark difference, you better believe I'm going to hump and dump as many of these broads as I can. How can it be that women who wouldn't even give me the time of day at this very moment, would be interested in me if I get a good job? It's the truth but the truth disgusts me. How come I can accept a woman regardless of her financial or social situation but not vice a versa? Seeing as how literally no women no matter how worthy I am, want me right now, I can't help but feel a bit bitter when suddenly women I don't have anything in common with start to come into my life because I've got "stability". I find it impossible to fathom why anyone would trade a worthwhile connection for someone who has a flashy car or money for a ski trip to Aspen.

 

I'm not interested in keeping up with the Jones', and never will be.

[Wolf18]

For most people, it's true that looks are the primary factor which leads to "getting laid." There's something to be said for personality, however, when you think about all the men out there who are not conventionally attractive but still somehow manage to get more ass than a toilet seat. I was in a fraternity in the not-so-distant-past, though not really in a place where they have much "pull." Height had nothing to do with who got laid more or who got more girlfriends. Some guys just had "it," others did not. Some guys just went after every girl possible and by sheer numbers managed to get lucky.

 

Confidence is the starting point, but anyone who tells you it's the panacea for inability to attracting women is patently dishonest. The next step is to charm the woman, to form a connection, for whatever it is you seek from her (one night stand, long-term relationship, or whatever). Your issue may be that your interactions with women, while displaying confidence, do not display much else. What are some of the things you've done in your interactions with women to display the traits about yourself that you value the most, if you've done them at all?

 

Your 6'3" friend, how many girls does he get, would you say? What is the overall quality of these women?

 

 

Trust me BigQuestion, I know all the moves and then more. I had my 15 minutes of woman-fame when I was on a strict diet weight training 4-5 years ago. It was fun while it lasted but really opened up my eyes to who and what "love" is before, during and after. I was the "jerk" banging all the girls without even trying while laughing like a jackal at the guys they had friend zoned who were actually decent, albeit a bit sissy, and cared about them as people. I was truly evil and harbored a very primitive attitude towards women, barely saw them as more than a hole to pound and didn't understand what they saw in me .

 

I'm in good shape now, just not with an Abercrombie model body. I've gotten back into working out, but as a hobby not an obsession. I like to drink alcohol, I like to eat what I want, and have matured to realize that a man who spends all his time on his appearance or filling his wallet tends to become empty and sterile where it matters.

 

Being happy is far more important to me than being hot to girls , this is an alien concept to most men my age but I don't care. A few of the girls I had sex with put as much effort into their appearance as I did back then, but the point is that I don't want nor need that. When I lost weight I assumed that I would just have to date average girls now, and was dead wrong, the average girls are after the same thing as the hottest sorority girls. Suddenly features that my sculpted body "compensated" for started to matter since I was no longer above average, and everything's gone down hell in the romantic realm after that.

 

But whatever, I'm happy with my life. I just come here to vent a little and find men who have had and are going through a similar experience to me. It feels good to know it's not just bad luck, but that what I think is completely right and other guys like me are going through the same exact thing.

 

Nothing about me has changed for the worst except that now I have a somewhat visible 4 pack instead of a chiseled 6 pack.

[Mrlonelyone]

I have only skimmed the thread but I have some things to add about this.

 

Yes personality makes up for less than stellar looks. In the end looks never last but personalities are truly permanent. A wise person considers looks to be a bonus on top of a good personality. Surely we have all known plenty of "hot" men and women who were full of themselves. My nephew for example dates only heaviset women he says that skinny women tend to be full of themselves. As the old song says lifelong happiness comes from an ugly wife.

 

 

As for myself as my experience with women is limited due to my prefernces I can say little. The last woman I wrote of at length here I met while taking a pole dancing class. We saw eachother in various states of dress. We became friends as I became friends with other ladies in that class. In this ones case I grew attracted to her due to what I saw of her personality. I know of a few transgender M2F people who for most of their lives were into men who have liked women for that very reason. Not physical attraction but personality.

 

The same goes for men. A couple years ago I was going to build a Fence and gate in my back yard. While I was at Home Depot utterly lost a muely little Mexican guy helped me. He didnt work there, he just thought he was talking to a nice woman (or noticed and did not mind that I was a tranny). I was not at all attracted to him in that moment. Then he was just so nice, and knowledgeable, and roughed. I gave him my number. He eventually called weeks latter and I had lost interest.

 

TL;DR

 

Of course personality matters. If it didn't then Hollywood stars who are so good looking we pay to look at them would have durable marriages. Personality is worth way more than looks when it comes to interpersonal relationships. A wise and emotionally mature person knows this and acts accordingly. Some people never reach that point.

 

All that said I have actually made out with men that I had never shared anything more than deep eye contact with if they had a good face and the confidene to approach me.

[Wolf18]

Rofl are you really a tranny?

 

I don't get it. What are you complaining about, you took the easy way out and became a woman

[Mrlonelyone]

Rofl are you really a tranny?

 

I don't get it. What are you complaining about, you took the easy way out and became a woman

Yes. A decent looking one too.

 

Dosen't make anything easier though. I get approached by three kinds of people.

 

1.)Men who only care if it works but insist they are 100% straight.

 

2.)Men and women looking for a sexual adventure.

 

3.)Sincere people who are really interested (RARE)

 

1 and 2 can be good for some fun 3 usually ends with the person freaking out when thinking if liking me makes then gay or straight. While it is possible to "dig" and find out who I am using this respect my privacy and please do not.

Edited November 3, 2011 by Mrlonelyone

[jobaba]

How soon do you ask out a woman after meeting her?

 

What do you talk about before you ask her out?

 

I'm pretty forward these days. I talked to one woman for a couple of hours at a wedding and then asked her if she wanted to go with me to another wedding I was going to later in the year.

 

I'll ask women to go on trips with me and stuff. I'll ask a woman who I've been making no connection with for her phone number.

 

Not that all of this has led to success every time, but...

 

See, I think the problem is, you're trying to win a woman's heart over.

 

In my experience, this cannot really be done (without years and pain). Best to push the issue off the bat. In terms of the conversation, if you find one of those special girls, she'll be pushing the conversation with you, so don't worry about that.

[jobaba]

I already know this.

 

I will tell you right now, I'm never going to be rich. School is a waste of time I've just invested too much to leave now, I'm probably going to do some kind of city job with the EMT's when I get out and am currently working oddjobs like painting to hold me off until then. I'm never going to be loaded to the point where it will catch many women's attention.

 

If one day I have a good living, I know women will suddenly be more interested in me as a prospect. I've been to other countries and the girls think I'm loaded because I'm from America, they seem to be much more interested in me.

 

If I do ever see this stark difference, you better believe I'm going to hump and dump as many of these broads as I can. How can it be that women who wouldn't even give me the time of day at this very moment, would be interested in me if I get a good job? It's the truth but the truth disgusts me. How come I can accept a woman regardless of her financial or social situation but not vice a versa? Seeing as how literally no women no matter how worthy I am, want me right now, I can't help but feel a bit bitter when suddenly women I don't have anything in common with start to come into my life because I've got "stability". I find it impossible to fathom why anyone would trade a worthwhile connection for someone who has a flashy car or money for a ski trip to Aspen.

 

I'm not interested in keeping up with the Jones', and never will be.

 

I wouldn't count on that happening unless you are making 250K+ a year. Believe me. I've lived in NYC. Making 125K won't even get you a blowjob. It doesn't work like that.

 

Having stability only KEEPS you in the game. If you're traditionally undesirable AND you have no career/job prospects, you may very well be single for the rest of your life. Life is ruthless...