WHAT SHOULD I DO? Boyfriend can't deal with my babies father being around

[blackdiamond28]

Here's my issue:

 

I have been in a relationship for 1 1/2 years with a guy with no kids however I have children by another man whom I was in a relationship for 8 years. My now boyfriend always felt uncomfortable with my children's father because he supports the children 100percent and is involved with my kids to the fullest. (insecurity) Now My boyfriend is starting to have doubts about us because he eventually wants to start a family but he claims he would possibly want a "fresh start" (someone that does not have kids) because my kids father would always be around. I love my boyfriend and want to be with him but this is getting the best of our relationship and has causes major problems between. Would a new baby by him make the situation better?

[friendforyou]

This is a tough one. But when he met you , you already had kids. So he kinda should have known what he was getting into. However; let him know " we dont choose who we fall in love with". I mean if he really loves you, he will not be able to just up and leave , and go find someone else to "be in love with" that doesnt have kids. It just doesnt work that way. He could find someone without kids, but would it be what you too have. You would be selfish to not the childrens' father be involved- selfish to the children and the biological father. Would a new baby by your boyfriend help? I think not. Not until he comes to grips with the current situation.

[ziggue]

I have been in that situation. Well your boyfriend's one. Even though it is the other way around. I was the girlfriend and my Ex had the kids. His Ex was in the kids lives pretty often.

 

I tried avoiding meeting the mother of his kids but since she is still in their lives had no choice but too. It was really uncomfortable for me.

 

I think it was because I have no kids myself and don't know what his situation is like. Your day to day life with your kids. Just think how you would feel if your current boyfriend had his Ex girlfriend still hanging around in the background in his life. You would feel uncomfortable about that too. I don't think he has anything against your kids. Just the fact that there is another male present in your life other then his. That is sort of how I felt.

 

That was part of the reason why I left. Also because he made me feel like a baby sitter and made every time I came over. I always felt like I got stuck with the kids. Doing the house work. That's after travelling one and a half hours to see the guy. On some weekends.

 

What I am saying might sound a little selfish but it was never really a serious thing with him plus I have no kids of my own and just I just wanted to get accross to you what it is like from the other side. If that was any help. .

[RackEmUp]

Well...first end your threesome!! And congratulations on your children's father being a real man who supports them and is there for them.

 

If your new bf really wants a fresh start, with a childless woman, well...you can't turn back time and unborn those babies. So you could either surrender them to their father, or tell your bf to adjust his attitude, or suggest he move on.

 

Whatever you do, do NOT have a baby to try to fix a relationship. Your relationship should be solid as a rock before you get pregnant.