hurting Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 I knew him for a short time as a friend at a sporting club. Things got out of hand one night and I told him I was not interested in being involved with a married man. He rang me the next day to say he had told his wife and he left her. The marriage had not been fulfilling for a long time. Things happened and he moved in with me and for 8 months we had a wonderful time. All his friends kept telling me he was happier than he had been for years. His mother told me I was wonderful for him. We were the couple that everyone was jealous of at the sporting club obviously in love and very happy. We had long term plans He has 2 kids - son 17 who was OK they kept contact, daughter 20 refused to speak to him (except when she needed a new car - which he bought). He finally had coffee with his daughter after 8/9 months and then the next day told me in the morning that he was moving out. He had to leave me to work things out with his wife because he had hurt the children and the guilt was too much. He has moved in with a mate. I know he loves me very much but obviously the moral obligation to his family unit etc was overbearing. I asked if he was going to be happy in a years time and he said that was not important, the children were more important and as a father he had responsibilities that he had ignored and the guilt was too much. All our friends (both new and our old friends) are shocked - the relationship they had watched grow with the obvious love, body language and chemistry . It is making sense to no one. Where to now?? Link to post Share on other sites
sweetness Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 He has been living with you for the past 8/9 months. If he was going home for the "children" why is he staying with a "mate" is the first question you should be asking yourself. The children or at least one is almost grown with little to no contact with his father. I think that maybe this was just a fling, although you say it was chemistry, it's always amazing and wonderful when the affair first begins. For him to be feeling what he is feeling now says that this thought had to have been with him throughout your relationship. He left with little to no regard to what your feelings are! What about you and the feelings you hold!? You along with your friends are in awe, but why did he leave home in the first place should be the question. She may have found out about the two of you and she put him out. He may have been telling her all of this time that he really wanted to be with his family and she is making him prove it to her. Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Gee what a surprise. He left his mistress and went back to his wife. That's the way it should be. Stand up for yourself and walk away. Feel better about yourself and try to rebuild your self esteem. As yellowrose said (or something similiar), "A man who leaves his wife for his mistress leaves a vacancy for that position." Link to post Share on other sites
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