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separate in order to appreciate what we have?


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Universe, I'm going to give you a random assortment of quotations from your own posts:

 

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"I don't really know what's feasible anymore. I think I've been dishonest with myself about just how much of an emotional wreck I really am."

 

"god - I feel awful right now."

 

"I know I don't deserve my GF. I think I've always known. I was so surprised when she first started taking an interest in me. There's no one like her. She is the most incredible talented loving woman I have ever known. And I've been such a jerk. She deserves better."

 

"I just can't seem to get myself stable. I have no energy. I have no place where I feel at rest. I have so much to lose. The only things I have to gain come at too great a cost. "

 

"I really am exhausted."

 

"But I'm just in such a bad state."

 

"the whole thing is just so sad."

 

"But then maybe we're in a place that we'll just never recover from and it's better to get out now. I feel guilty for having taken the best years of her life. She only has so long before she's too old to have kids. "

 

"It's really starting to feel oppressive. "

 

"For me, it's been really hard lately. I have a lot going on internally. I have a lot of questions that need answers."

 

"I don't need to have relations with other people. I don't need to have fun. That's not the answer for me right now."

 

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I'm not an expert or anything on codependency but you should take a look at the wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency

 

Your quotes above fit perfectly within so many of the patterns identified there. And clearly you're in a lot of emotional upheaval over the current state of the relationship.

 

I think part of the problem is you're too fixated on the relationship and you're questioning everything. You should try to work on yourself first, try to expand your social network, pick up some hobbies or get involved in sports or something productive for you to do so you can start pushing back against all these negative/depressing thoughts that you're expressing and get to healthy level of self-esteem.

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