bf fills the emptiness or not

[sad&stresd]

hey all

i'm 20

Till I turned 16, I was in a girl's school

I used to be soooo happy and contented being with friends that I din't need a bf

There I heard almost everyone talking about the latest guy who was flirting with them & I did get a bit jealous since I had hardly ever even talked to a guy till then

But i put that as a reason & forgot about there being no guy in my life(except my dad and brother)

Then I went to a Co-ed school for the next two years

But even there max to max I made friends with 6-7 guys

I even liked this guy in class and sat next to him for 1 class for almost two weeks

The guy din't utter one syllable during that time

Now I came to college

same problem here

in the end I started talking to a guy online and he said that he loved me after only talking to me for a 1 month

I said that I loved him too after 3 months....

we had never met by that time an he was soo sweet and great

2 months after that i found out that he had been flirting with another girl online for the past two years and still was doing so 5 months after proposing to me

he's good,but now that I've met him and gotten to know him, he seems a bit weird and i've tried breaking up with him a few times but never had the guts to go through it completely

now i spend my days in either tolerating him or getting frustrated about all that irritates me about him

Either ways I'm mostly going back to the same depressed state I had been in 3 years earlier

can anyone tell me what to do??