Tell him to back off or not?! confused...

[Becks84]

I have one post talking about this other guy whom I went to school with my first year of college, and then we both transfered to other schools. He got in touch with me after almost a year by looking me up in my University directory. Long story short -- he expressed his feelings to me which totally took me by surprise. Apparently he is "crazy about me", and he cannot believe I didnt know it! I really just thought he got my # and wanted to hang out and stuff because he wanted to be friends -- we had a class together. And I thought he knew I had a boyfriend -- and I still do (of 2 years).

 

Things can be rocky with me and my current bf...because of the drinking -- maybe youve seen another one of my posts. But other than that, I wouldnt trade him for the world! I cant imagine not being with my bf...it just feels so wrong to even think about it. But...theres just something about this other guy! I think it's probably just flattering that he "came after me". And he is sooooo sweet. He found out my work address and sent me roses on my birthday...he has made me mix cds and mailed them to me...but he has found out my addresses and email and phone # all on his own, so to some extent I feel like *whoa buddy, back off*...he knows I have a bf...but then on the other hand, he stands out to me for so many reasons. *A big reason being he does not drink at all -- I have other posts about drinking, and my past/family -- it's hard to not compare them at times when I am very angry with my bf about drinking. This is wrong, and my sister warned me of this. She said no good can come of even being in contact with this other guy.* But at the same time I wish he'd go away, I also would like to get to know him better. Just talk to him, be friends...he's so nice to me that I can't find it in me to tell him to F off!

 

Now for the icing on the cake!! He's going to be transferring to my school in fall! And on top of it, in an email he told me I have had some influence on his decision to sign with their team, whereas he could have went elsewhere in the country! *how the heck I have influence on someone I hardly even communicate with is beyond me.* But when my friends ask me if Im creeped out, I say not at all.

 

First of all, why am I flattered and not creeped out? WHy is he doing everything he is doing and why does he feel the way he does? And what should I do about it?? Any suggestions?? ps - my boyfriend does know about him -- I couldnt very well hide the dozen roses on my last bday

 

thanks in advance!!

[LILUIL]

becareful of trusting feelings.... can you agree that feelings are influenced by what situation, what people tell you and what you see around u... etc

 

go with what you know about the two of them. at this point where do you see your current bf, do you think the two of you can work what you have into a mutually fulfilling r/ship. what made you fall for him in the first place? will those reasons be enough for you to consider forever with him? is he serious about you?

 

now the other guy. i feel you should tell him you are involved with someone. let him come to your college, shouldnt bug you, unless you are planning to two time them, ur not right?

 

all i can say is deal with your current man and then decide on the other one. be firm and fair to both.

[Becks84]

LILUIL -- You make a lot of sense! This other guy knows I am happily taken -- why wont he give up? I dont know whether to be flattered or annoyed. How can I not know how I feel about it??

 

I can definitley see my current bf and I together in the long run...he can too! We've talked about it many times and we share a lot of hopes and dreams together. I have for about 2 years now been so sure of him! So sure of my love for him. But with this other guy sorta in the picture, I find myself from time to time comparing the two of them, because they are so very different...the other guy just interests me I think because of the reason that he is so different than my bf. I dont know. This is freaking me out -- does it mean I really dont love my bf?? But I know I do! Why am I confused??

Thanks in advance LILUIL or anyone!

[ziggue]

That's like this guy I know. He used to work with me. Found out he had a crush on me. He was 6 years younger. I am 24 and he is like 18. Too young. Also he has a girlfriend who he would've dumped after a year. Feel sorry for her. She even knows he has a crush on me. He didn't dump her but and I told him not too because I am happily taken and would never leave my boyfriend for anybody at all.

 

I have a wonderful boyfriend and I am happily taken too. I am also totally crazy about him and in love with him. . I would never hurt him either. . .

 

This other guy got my number from my friend at my old job where he works. Wouldn't stop pestering her for it so she gave up in the end. We catch the same bus some mornings. He doesn't hassle me to much about it but it does get annoying! My boyfriend knows about it. I just tell him if he rings while you are with me just answer the phone and tell him to back off or to scare him a little.

 

Keep telling him you have a boyfriend and that you are not interested. Remind him that you are happily taken too. Get your boyfriend to threaten him. My boyfriend is twice the size of this guy! He would definately freak if he saw him. Especially knowing that my boyfriend knows about him. If he doesn't back off AVO time.