sar123 Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Started dating a guy like two months ago. Went on maybe 6 dates in the first month. All seems well, he seems to like me, is talking about where else he wants to take me, wants to introduce me to his friends, etc. This guy is really busy-- full time job, studying for mcats, and goes to school full time. There was a week where we didn't see each other-- he was sick, I was out of town. The next week, he asks me to hang out and then cancels day of and says he's super busy. He texts me a few days later and tells me he wants to see me, asks me to hang out the next week. He also cancels that date night of, and tells me he's had a really crazy three weeks and he'll get back to me when everything settles down, but if I want to hang out that weekend maybe we could have lunch. I just say good luck with everything and don't even mention lunch because I'm pretty annoyed at being flaked out on last minute. Now, I haven't heard from him since (been a week), and I haven't seen him in a month. Normally, I'd assume he wasn't interested and move on, but why would he be asking me out if that was the case? I don't get it... Don't know if I should keep bothering. Link to post Share on other sites
CocoaBrown Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 I hate when this happens. I know how you feel because I went through this with someone but what I had to realize is EVERYONE is busy and has a life BUT we MAKE time when we WANT to! I would keep dating and when he can finally fit you into his oh so busy schedule maybe YOU won't be available! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sar123 Posted November 5, 2011 Author Share Posted November 5, 2011 (edited) So I still haven't heard from him... at all. So that's like a week and a half. Which isn't really okay. On the other hand, he did let me know that he would be busy, so that's good that he was upfront about it and maybe that makes it okay? I'm still not sure how to handle this... From what I know of him, I'm pretty sure he isn't just going to disappear off the face of the earth and never contact me again (although, I've been wrong before, so who knows). On the other hand, I think he could very well be stringing me along... Any ideas for sussing out whether he's stringing me along or is legitimately busy? I am considering straight up asking him, but I feel like that might make me sound a little crazy. On a brighter note, got a date tomorrow with someone else. Edited November 5, 2011 by sar123 Link to post Share on other sites
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 With so many instant options available - from text to e-mail to telephone - there is really no excuse for lack of contact due to being "too busy." Sending a text takes 5 seconds. If a guy really wanted to contact you, he could easily make time. I don't have any advice for you in your quest to decipher whether he's "stringing you along," however it seems pretty obvious to me that he is. I've never had a guy not contact me for a week after multiple dates. Since our first date, my boyfriend and I have had daily (albeit sometimes prompt if it's a busy day) contact of some form. It was the same way with my ex. The only way you can really find out is to forget about him and move on with your life. Maybe he'll come out of the wood work, maybe he won't. If he does, then you can decide whether you want to give this flakey guy another chance (for whatever reason). Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 He said that he would get back in touch when everything settled down and since you didn't respond to his offer about lunch then he didn't follow up on it. If you actually wanted to see him, then I think you shot yourself in the foot. Personally, having been in a similar situation, my advice to you is to look elsewhere. He is too busy to maintain a relationship. He's got too much on his plate and at the moment, there are other things in his life that take priority. If/when he gets into medical school, it's only going to get worse. And you sound like you need more time together than he's able or willing to give. Find someone who has more time for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Cee Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 I'd say it's a combination of being too busy and dating not being a priority. He's pre-med and trying to get into a good med school. To do that he has to pull straight A's, ace the MCAT's, and participate in a ton of extracurriculars such as research, shadowing, and volunteer work. Some people can date and pursue a medical career and others can't. It sounds like he's got too much on his plate. If you like him as a person, he might become a friend or occasional dating partner. Otherwise, I'd let him go. Link to post Share on other sites
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