BigDumbFoot Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 So I've told my story here a couple of times.. Basically we were together for several years, I start to develop a few issues with anxiety, start working on fixing them, only to have her dump me for another guy. Needless to say my self esteem is in the ****ter. On top of being dumped, I had bad self esteem to begin with.. now it's just terrible.. I am trying to work from self help books and with a councilor, but I'm making very slow progress. I wouldn't mind dating for fun. Trying to find someone else to spend a little time with in order to get my mind off myself.. But that whole world just terrifies me. I've never really dated before. I met my ex in college and we were together for almost 7 years. Having been rejected like i was and having never really dated anyone before I feel totally clueless and afraid in regards to people in general let alone the opposite sex. Does anyone know how long it should take before this feeling starts to subside somewhat? Link to post Share on other sites
melenkurion Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 It happens gradually. After a couple of months I noticed I was feeling better about myself. Now, a year later I feel better about myself than I did when I was in the relationship. I think there is a good chance that the same can happen for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BigDumbFoot Posted November 3, 2011 Author Share Posted November 3, 2011 Were/are you No Contact with your ex? Were you able to date again before too long? Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 How is dating going to fix your self esteem. You said something that you wanted to start dating so that you would stop thinking about it. Its like putting a patch on a tire with a hole in it. Sure it will keep your mind off of it but what happens when that patch breaks, the hole is still there! Why not do things to improve your self esteem instead of dating. Playing a sport, joining a gym, starting a new hobby. Keep at them. Continue doing things that make you happy. If you work on fixing your self esteem in every way possible, it will come back better then ever. It takes time and work. Not one of the other, but both Link to post Share on other sites
melenkurion Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 I was in "no contact" after about a month. Since we lived together, I couldn't go completely NC until he had moved out all his things. Since them, NC, with one lapse (related to a bill he had stopped paying). It took a few months before I felt ready to date, but I wouldn't worry about that yet. Get yourself healed first, and date when you are ready. Dating could end up making you feel worse, if you are not ready. Link to post Share on other sites
fenderjames Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Its going to be awhile im afraid friend . Im 3 months no contact and it still hurts alot . Stay strong . Link to post Share on other sites
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