Author maxy1 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 good point^^^ so i just texted her back because it has been all day and i will be going out tonight and at work early tomorrow, it seemed like a good time to do so... i just said: ''doing fine..just trying to keep busy. how about yourself?'' and that's it. what do u think, i feel that is pretty generic, right? so hopefully i will at least hear back from her, because i do want her to be happy. i did want to say that in the message but felt it would come across weird and maybe not confident enough?? ... i dunno, just hope she doesn't respond back with something that crushes me (ie: new bf details, blah blah...) we will see. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 good point^^^ so i just texted her back because it has been all day and i will be going out tonight and at work early tomorrow, it seemed like a good time to do so... i just said: ''doing fine..just trying to keep busy. how about yourself?'' and that's it. what do u think, i feel that is pretty generic, right? so hopefully i will at least hear back from her, because i do want her to be happy. i did want to say that in the message but felt it would come across weird and maybe not confident enough?? ... i dunno, just hope she doesn't respond back with something that crushes me (ie: new bf details, blah blah...) we will see. Even though you want her to be happy quit worrying about it. Telling her you want her to happy is just telling her it's ok that you dumped me and that your with someone else,, because I want you to be happy. You should be worrying about what makes you happy. Your reply was to soon, what you can't text from work tomorrow? I'm "trying" to stay busy,,, No I've been to busy to get back with you. If you really want her back DONT contact her ,, let her contact you, don't be her doormat by always being there, making sure she's happy,taking her to a concert and so on and so on. Do your best to ignore her,make her wonder about you,, what your up to, let/make her miss you, be mysterious,,, Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxy1 Posted November 5, 2011 Author Share Posted November 5, 2011 damn i thought i did good on that text lol... just got home from hanging out with some very supportive friends. i am not taking this jerk of a "gf" to the show anymore. i have found that my best buddy and a previous girl i used to be close with really want to go, so i will go with them instead. she never texted be back, but i will be taking pictures at the concert and upping them to my facebook so she can see that she doesn't have complete control over my hapiness. when i went to hang out with my buddy tonight, i didn't even have to say anything about my relationship problems. he straight out came out and said first: "dude, you need to relieve yourself of her" this was before even telling him what has happened this past week Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 damn i thought i did good on that text lol... just got home from hanging out with some very supportive friends. i am not taking this jerk of a "gf" to the show anymore. i have found that my best buddy and a previous girl i used to be close with really want to go, so i will go with them instead. she never texted be back, but i will be taking pictures at the concert and upping them to my facebook so she can see that she doesn't have complete control over my hapiness. when i went to hang out with my buddy tonight, i didn't even have to say anything about my relationship problems. he straight out came out and said first: "dude, you need to relieve yourself of her" this was before even telling him what has happened this past week Silence says more than words do. Again IF you want her back that is the thing to do. Do you want to be her puppet? everytime she calls want's needs something your always there? including taking her to a concert, how will she ever miss you if your ALWAYS there? You have expressed your feelings to her,,she knows it,,, she knows what you want now leave it up to her!!!! She may be used to you being there, wanting to spend time with her (concert) she knows all she has to do is pick up the phone and your there,, she's got your in her back pocket now's the time to STOP IT!! I promise you if you somewhat dissapear,,, ignore her and be hard to get ahold of it will spark her curiousity. She'll start thinking,Damn whats up with him,, is he seeing someone else?,, he was always there the second I needed him,,, I thought he was going to ask /take me to a concert, maybe he's taking someone else?? I'm not saying be mean,rude or nasty to her just be hard to get.If, when you do talk,text etc. be polite ,, let her do most of the talking,asking questions, be alittle indifferent towards her. She dumped you,, she's seeing someone else, you own her NOTHING! Move on with your life, it' win, win for you regardless if she comes back or not.Don't be/play this poor me victim, I'm still so hurt Boo Hoo role unless you want her to NEVER come back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxy1 Posted November 5, 2011 Author Share Posted November 5, 2011 Will do, sounds logically the best way to go. Not trying to play poor me anymore, **** that I'm ready to do me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxy1 Posted November 6, 2011 Author Share Posted November 6, 2011 Another really ****ty morning, can't wait to get over this feeling. I find myself really wanting to call her, but haven't. She's like a drug and the withdrawals are not getting any better yet. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 Another really ****ty morning, can't wait to get over this feeling. I find myself really wanting to call her, but haven't. She's like a drug and the withdrawals are not getting any better yet. I know how DIFFICULT IT IS wanting to call the ex. Don't. What good will it do?? She hasn't forgotten you,, What else can you say? You have already made it crystal clear how you feel now leave her alone. I've said it before and I'm positive 99% of people here will tell you the same thing. Stay in N.C. ,, let her wonder about you/miss you. Calling her is only going to hurt your chance of getting back together if you still want to? These feelings will pass, contacting her is just going to set you back!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxy1 Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 i haven't contacted her nor has she contacted me. it just seems to be harder and harder not to send that little ''how are u doin'' text, i feel like i am on the verge of relapse! it's just so weird how it all ended and how things are now, i have gotten more out of the depressed stage each day but it feels like i am just exchanging the depression for anger now. i am pretty mad at how she did this after everything i had done for her and everything we had discussed and how she led me on for so long. i'm just exchanging bull**** for bull****, but i need to just let it go!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxy1 Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 askdalskd need help, quick! i just dreamt of her all night and then literally right when i got up, i get a text from her asking how i am.. i have not talked to her since she texted me last weekend, and have not initiated any contact. today is the concert, and i am taking my buddy instead of her. it is hard not to answer her back honestly, that i am missing her and having a hard time, whenever i have been with this girl the last 7 years of my life. it's like i lost a limb and i really want i back, but i just don't know what to do. i have not texted her back and i don't really know what i should say or how long i should wait.. any advice, i would really appreciate it! or mike's voice of reason!! Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 askdalskd need help, quick! i just dreamt of her all night and then literally right when i got up, i get a text from her asking how i am.. i have not talked to her since she texted me last weekend, and have not initiated any contact. today is the concert, and i am taking my buddy instead of her. it is hard not to answer her back honestly, that i am missing her and having a hard time, whenever i have been with this girl the last 7 years of my life. it's like i lost a limb and i really want i back, but i just don't know what to do. i have not texted her back and i don't really know what i should say or how long i should wait.. any advice, i would really appreciate it! or mike's voice of reason!! So glad your taking someone else to the concert,, GOOD FOR YOU!!! I know how terribly hard it must be not to reply after being with someone that long. I haven't heard anything from my ex. in 3 months and I know how tempted I would be to respond!! So she texted you this morning,,, the same day of the concert,, Hummmm maybe she's wondering/waiting for you to ask her to the concert?? Don't contact her today PERIOD!! Wait and see if she contacts you after the concert and judge her reaction,,, it may be driving her crazy why you haven't responded or why you'r not taking her to the concert. She'll see your no longer her "puppet", that your moving on,, remember you have the power now! Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxy1 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 well the concert went awesome. had a great time with my buddy, danced and chatted with a cute girl i met&exchanged phone numbers. didn't really want the night to end. i felt great last night, my confidence felt a little boosted. but now it is time to get back to reality and continue healing, time just goes by so slow. followed your advice mike and didn't text her back all day yesterday. i waited till a little while ago and just responded with: i am doing alright and classes are busy, asked how her classes are etc.. just kept it generic. i don't know why i still miss her after everything that has happened, the **** is wrong with me Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 well the concert went awesome. had a great time with my buddy, danced and chatted with a cute girl i met&exchanged phone numbers. didn't really want the night to end. i felt great last night, my confidence felt a little boosted. but now it is time to get back to reality and continue healing, time just goes by so slow. followed your advice mike and didn't text her back all day yesterday. i waited till a little while ago and just responded with: i am doing alright and classes are busy, asked how her classes are etc.. just kept it generic. i don't know why i still miss her after everything that has happened, the **** is wrong with me Glad you had a good time. Don't contact her anymore.By you asking how her classes were,,, well I wouldn't of. Let her tell you about it without asking.Now she feels like she may have to respond and you want/look foward to her responding. I hit the 3 month mark of N.C. and it has worked wonders,, I no longer really miss her/think of her and it feels so good. It's up to her now, by going back and forth with emails/texts is only delaying those feelings your still having! Keep up the good work! Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxy1 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 i hear ya mike. i am glad for you to make it through a full 3 months - happy anniversary! lol, you have great advice and level head, i am sure great things are waiting for you. i asked her about her classes just for the heck of it, she started contacting me in the first place so i figured i'd try and keep it civil. i won't be reaching out to her anymore (hopefully ;-] ) haha jk i'm pretty confident i won't and i will continue on down this path. on to the wellness section of this site for gym tips, today marks day one of me trying to improve myself physically on top of the mental aspect! Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 i hear ya mike. i am glad for you to make it through a full 3 months - happy anniversary! lol, you have great advice and level head, i am sure great things are waiting for you. i asked her about her classes just for the heck of it, she started contacting me in the first place so i figured i'd try and keep it civil. i won't be reaching out to her anymore (hopefully ;-] ) haha jk i'm pretty confident i won't and i will continue on down this path. on to the wellness section of this site for gym tips, today marks day one of me trying to improve myself physically on top of the mental aspect! I can't stress to you enough how you will get thru this. I was so shattered like we all were. You've done all that you can do,,, remember that!! it's up to her now!! Leave her alone, let he miss you. She may or may not come back if you still want her,,, don't waste your time hoping, trying to get her back. Try, try to stop contacting her,, move on with your life,, who knows what the future holds. I look back on my terribe hurt and and think/know I did all I could,, and can't believe I hurt or let myself or someone else hurt me soooo bad! It's almost foolish. Every day regardless if you feel it or not your getting better,, one day soon you will look back on this too with a different attitude,,,, it's a growing and learning experience that WE ALL have to go thru at one time or another in our life,, don't let it wreck you!!! I know it's extremely difficult not to respond to someone you still love,, I'm so much better but not quite where I want to be,, soon though. I'd be afraid how I'd act if my ex contacted me today,, tomorow. I sometimes want her to but it will do more damage to me than good. Just move on the best you can,,, take baby steps,, it's a slow process Try the gym,, it has helped my self esteem so much, believe me it was way in the gutter. I like you probably tried to analyze every aspect of the relationship,,, if only I'd done this,, or that,, it doesnt matter anymore,, I about went out of my mind doing that to the point I couldn't take it anymore,,, now I don't. It won't change ANYTHING! Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxy1 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 I know it's extremely difficult not to respond to someone you still love,, I'm so much better but not quite where I want to be,, soon though. I'd be afraid how I'd act if my ex contacted me today,, tomorow. I sometimes want her to but it will do more damage to me than good. keep it up. trust me, i doubt you would want her to contact you. she (my ex) just called me about 30 minutes ago. this was the first time talking on the phone since i saw her last. i picked up.. i KNEW i shouldn't have! but i did it anyways... it didn't go well, let's put it that way. she was distant when i tried to tell her how she made me feel, no real apology on her part or anything. i let her get to me and have no one to blame but myself. i think i had to hit this rock bottom to see the way things really are. this definitely put a speedbump in my way, but i'm gonna have to get over it. She may or may not come back if you still want her,,, don't waste your time hoping, trying to get her back. i don't want her back. not anymore. i want myself back. i don't think being in contact with her will ever be a good idea. i took her 'how are you doing' texts for far more than they were. i think i have just been with her for so long that i got too comfortable and lost myself. i am pissed that she is with someone else already, so so so angry. it makes me feel so much worse. if we had ended this mutually, i would be a lot better off right now. but i get that this type of **** can happen in relationships. the fact that ours started early when we were both still in high school probably doesn't help. we thought we'd be ''together forever'' blah blah blah, i can't believe i fed into that crap. this has definitely been a learning experience. damn you, patience. you are turning out to be one tough thing to pick up. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 keep it up. trust me, i doubt you would want her to contact you. she (my ex) just called me about 30 minutes ago. this was the first time talking on the phone since i saw her last. i picked up.. i KNEW i shouldn't have! but i did it anyways... it didn't go well, let's put it that way. she was distant when i tried to tell her how she made me feel, no real apology on her part or anything. i let her get to me and have no one to blame but myself. i think i had to hit this rock bottom to see the way things really are. this definitely put a speedbump in my way, but i'm gonna have to get over it. i don't want her back. not anymore. i want myself back. i don't think being in contact with her will ever be a good idea. i took her 'how are you doing' texts for far more than they were. i think i have just been with her for so long that i got too comfortable and lost myself. i am pissed that she is with someone else already, so so so angry. it makes me feel so much worse. if we had ended this mutually, i would be a lot better off right now. but i get that this type of **** can happen in relationships. the fact that ours started early when we were both still in high school probably doesn't help. we thought we'd be ''together forever'' blah blah blah, i can't believe i fed into that crap. this has definitely been a learning experience. damn you, patience. you are turning out to be one tough thing to pick up. We all get pissed when we know they are with someone else,,, I was so pissed I found this open lot, went out in it and screamed you fuc*king bitch,, I HATE YOU, ALL YOUR LIES,Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Stop talking to her !! no more text replys,, if she has a change of heart she will blow up your phone!! I heard the same crap,,, we'll be together forever,, I love you, we'll get married someday. When they say those things take at heart that at that time when they said it they may,,,, may have meant it,, things,feelings just change and it's not your fault!! Your back at square one again by talking to her,, your upset,, STOP! Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxy1 Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 (edited) update: still feeling like **** and having a hard time getting her out of my head. i don't even want her in there but she keeps popping up. and the crazy thing is i keep busy as hell, with all the work, school and everything and finals coming up, study groups, going out with friends, etc. and i just can't get my brain to stop thinking about her. trouble sleeping, trouble eating, definitely not the same around friends and finding myself more and more anxious. she's such an ass, too. she got MAD when she found out that i actually went to the concert without her. she says i never did anything for her and i took advantage of her. i drove out 40 mins away to see her all the freaking time, blew off homework for her constantly, grades suffered, even called into work a few times to be with her when she was lonely. i drove out there to take care of her when she got sick, i took her to the store and out to eat when she had financial problems, i changed the tire on her car when she had a flat and i had a chemistry test early the next a.m., gave her my vacuum which was over $100, bought her an acoustic guitar she hardly ever played. i took her on sooo many vacations and paid for more than 80% of everything. took her to san diego, vegas, los angeles, coachella music and arts festival twice, and more. god, if i had that money back right now lol. i want the guitar and vacuum back pretty bad but dont want to see her.. don't know what to do there and i also am not an indian giver. but f*ck she doesn't care... i am not saying i was perfect, there are a ton of things i should have done differently, but i was and am young. i am still learning and always had the best intentions for her. i guess i am just fixating on the last time we saw each other a few weeks ago and she just tore me down. she checked out on me and then hopped right into the arms of another random dude she had only known one freaking week. when we started dating, we took it slow and i put a lot of effort into everything, and then she goes and just drops me like it's nothing and picks right up where we left off with him. feels better to get these thoughts off my chest, because i try not to talk to anyone about it. i am sure they are all tired of hearing it. i bet you all are too, just needed to put my thoughts out there. Edited November 14, 2011 by maxy1 Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 It's ok. Vent, post as you feel you need. I'm not 100% over my ex. yet but getting better every week. I had a small setback this weekend as expected but better now. Sounds like you did alot for her as I did my ex. and this is what we get. Hang in there it gets better. Link to post Share on other sites
nathanjbrown1 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 it's so ****ing hard to do. i wake and the first thing that pops in my head is the fact that she isn't there and i won't see her all day, or ever again maybe.. then my day just starts off completely ruined, how do i stop this? it's like my brain just defaults to thinking off her instantly the moment my alarm clock goes off. we went out for 7 years... and she is with someone else now I feel the same you do..It is hardest thing when you wake up in the morning...You will remember those thing that you usual do when you wake up like calling her or she usually call you...it seems so sad..and end's up crying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxy1 Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 I woke up today feeling better than i have been. Then I got online to check my facebook and 3 top stories in my news feed are my ex posting and tagging her and the new guy going out to a movie and things, like three different posts... So it was hard but I had to defriend her. Now I just feel like total **** about everything, I hate how I'm still dwelling on this and she's just off without me having a great time. I want to go out and just get hammered but have no one to hang out with because it was just me and her and now I have very few friends and just want to go do something to get my mind off her but it looks like I'll just be alone tonight...**** I hate this so much. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I woke up today feeling better than i have been. Then I got online to check my facebook and 3 top stories in my news feed are my ex posting and tagging her and the new guy going out to a movie and things, like three different posts... So it was hard but I had to defriend her. Now I just feel like total **** about everything, I hate how I'm still dwelling on this and she's just off without me having a great time. I want to go out and just get hammered but have no one to hang out with because it was just me and her and now I have very few friends and just want to go do something to get my mind off her but it looks like I'll just be alone tonight...**** I hate this so much. I know what you mean about not having anyone to hang out with. My few friends are either married or have a g/f. Don't feel to bad, I'm alone alot and will be during the holidays,, guess I'll have a turkey tv dinner for Thanksgiving.Your not alone. I'm to the point of wanting some breadcrumbs just to make my life exciting. Link to post Share on other sites
ChelseaLS Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I know what you mean about not having anyone to hang out with. My few friends are either married or have a g/f. Don't feel to bad, I'm alone alot and will be during the holidays,, guess I'll have a turkey tv dinner for Thanksgiving.Your not alone. I'm to the point of wanting some breadcrumbs just to make my life exciting. I will be alone too potentially. Stock up on beer, rum and egg nog! Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxy1 Posted November 19, 2011 Author Share Posted November 19, 2011 sorry to hear that guys. i know what it is like to be alone over holidays, the last 2 xmas's and thanksgiving i have been on my own completely as the ex was with her family back home while i was unable to afford traveling out to see mine. she sent me a text about an hour ago saying "i got to see and hangout with rob and brack last night!!!!!" rob and brack are my very best friends from back in high school who are currently going to the same university as her. why the **** would she send me this text????? Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 sorry to hear that guys. i know what it is like to be alone over holidays, the last 2 xmas's and thanksgiving i have been on my own completely as the ex was with her family back home while i was unable to afford traveling out to see mine. she sent me a text about an hour ago saying "i got to see and hangout with rob and brack last night!!!!!" rob and brack are my very best friends from back in high school who are currently going to the same university as her. why the **** would she send me this text????? To see if you will respond,,,to see if you will still acknowledge her. Link to post Share on other sites
wow123 Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 I will be alone too potentially. Stock up on beer, rum and egg nog! I too will be alone for Thanksgiving thinking about the ex. Family is out of state. Sad but true. Link to post Share on other sites
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