waking up in the morning

[mike588]

will do, thanks.. i think i am just nervous because it is the first time we have all hung out since the whole break up ordeal so i am just worried about awkwardness? lol i hate awkward silences and stuffs

 

She probably feels the same way. I know you want her back so treat her good, don't bring up the past at this time unless she does.

 

Don't be to clingy, look at her in the eyes when you tell her she looks beautiful and if the two of u are having a good time tell her I'm happy your here with me.

 

Then get her drunk and take advantage of her,, lol,, no just kidding!!!!

[maxy1]

hahahaha u cheer me up again buddy! hope you have a good evening, i will do just that

[maxy1]

Well we ended up havin a pretty good time. Went to a couple different places throughout the night and just chilled with old friends n stuff. It never got awkward or weird, when we were driving from place to place we just cranked the music and sang loud like nerds to one of our mutual favorite bands Alkaline Trio(who basically just sing about a lot of heartache, lol but they ****ing rock!)

 

Anyways, She ended up staying over because we got quite tipsy, it was like 2 am and her place is a bit of a drive away. But we didn't do anything other than fall sleep in the same bed, her snuggled up with my dog. We didn't even cuddle or anything, however, she started crying before we fell asleep. I asked her why she was crying and she said it was because she would know I'm right there sleeping beside her all night. And when I offered to go sleep in the other room she just kept saying no, because she would be thinking about me..So I just tried talkin with her about the night and funny things or conversations that were had to try and console her, which worked and eased the mood.

 

I feel bad about her crying, I really don't enjoy seeing her cry and to be honest, I am pretty confused about it all together. I am not sure really what it meant. Does she miss me? Is she upset? Idk.. We had a lot of fun last night, and we have made plans to hang out again probably mid next week so it kinda confused me..

[mike588]

Well we ended up havin a pretty good time. Went to a couple different places throughout the night and just chilled with old friends n stuff. It never got awkward or weird, when we were driving from place to place we just cranked the music and sang loud like nerds to one of our mutual favorite bands Alkaline Trio(who basically just sing about a lot of heartache, lol but they ****ing rock!)

 

Anyways, She ended up staying over because we got quite tipsy, it was like 2 am and her place is a bit of a drive away. But we didn't do anything other than fall sleep in the same bed, her snuggled up with my dog. We didn't even cuddle or anything, however, she started crying before we fell asleep. I asked her why she was crying and she said it was because she would know I'm right there sleeping beside her all night. And when I offered to go sleep in the other room she just kept saying no, because she would be thinking about me..So I just tried talkin with her about the night and funny things or conversations that were had to try and console her, which worked and eased the mood.

 

I feel bad about her crying, I really don't enjoy seeing her cry and to be honest, I am pretty confused about it all together. I am not sure really what it meant. Does she miss me? Is she upset? Idk.. We had a lot of fun last night, and we have made plans to hang out again probably mid next week so it kinda confused me..

 

Good job! No one likes to see someone that means alot to us cry, don't read to much into this it will drive you crazy.

 

I would guess it's a good sign that she's agreed to hang out again and I'm sure she appreciates/respects it you didn't force sex on her.

 

I don't have an answer to those questions,, only she knows but if you continue to take it SLOW you will eventually find out.

 

Be there for her,let her know your open to talk about her feelings but most important,,, Listen!

 

I'm glad it worked out well for you but for your sake don't get your hopes up to high at this time,,, hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

[maxy1]

hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

 

well put,

 

my friends think i am an idiot and kinda disappointed in me. but this is coming from a friend who is in a great relationship and another friend who is horrible with the ladies lol so i am pretty torn.. just gonna keep doin what i do and continue trying to move on

[maxy1]

So it's been a while. I haven't seen her since she stayed over but we have talked a lot on the phone and kept it friendly. She has done most of the calling but a few times it has been her venting about the new guy. She called me at 5 am this morning crying her eyes out because he has started mentally abusing her and attacking her character. I want to offer to go out and see her maybe take her to get a bite to eat. What do u guys think should I offer or wait? I would really like to see her..

 

I know what they say about letting something go to see if they come back, but I think there's gotta be a point where you take some sort of action, right?

 

Thankful for any opinions as always

[ScienceGal]

Did she leave you? And now she is using you as an emotional crutch in her new and abusive relationship? If she knows she is being abused and chooses to stay, it is not likely that you're going to be able to do anything about it; in fact, you're putting yourself in a situation where you stand to get hurt even more. She'll rely on you in tough times, and then fall back to him. It's a viscous cycle.

 

Do you want her back or do you only care as a friend? Tell her the exact truth. Both should include the fact that you can't stand to see her in such a horrible situation and that she needs to leave him immediately. Then, cut off contact. You don't need her dragging you through emotional hell with her. She needs to find the strength to leave... and so do you.

[maxy1]

When whe talked early this am I told her that she needs to get away from the situation completely and that if he is already treating her this way after only about 2 months of knowing her then things can only get worse. She also said a few times in the conversation she was going to break it off and that she gave him her trust too quick. She also kept saying she was all alone and feels like she's afraid of being alone. I just tried to assure her that she wasn't because I know how she feels, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But Nobody deserves to be abused, and I do hate seeing her treated this way when I would treat her soooo much better if she could get over her issues of being alone. That's the main reason we broke up, because we moved 45 minutes away from eachother for school.

 

I do want to be with her really bad despite everything, because it was great before we moved to different colleges, for years..we even wanted to get married and talked about it quite a bit, but I'm kind of thinking that I should hold off goin out to see her and let her deal with everything. I just don't want to sit back and play dead though at the same time..

[maxy1]

relapse...i haven't talked to her in a very long time and had been doing awesome but these past few days i can't stop thinking about her, i don't ****ing get it...it's hard to stop caring for someone you can't stop thinking about. even though she screwed me over pretty bad i still think about her.. i need someone to make me laugh or something, i'm sure my friends are sick and tired of hearing about this whole thing but i need someone to talk to

[maxy1]

Well, I'm back... I am feeling so down right now, I am gonna update everything just to talk/write about it because I don't wanna do anything stupid.

 

Got a text from her after a long time of not talking at all. The guy she ended up with (who I told her was a total piece of **** in the first place), turned out to be an even more serious little ****. He beat her, broke into her house, kept her on lockdown, mentally abused her, the works. U name it, he probably did it. After breaking into her house and ruining her door when he couldn't find her and she wasn't home one evening, that finally opened her eyes to everything and she dumped him here a couple weeks ago, got a restraining order, and is pressing charges on everything.

 

 

God that sounds so trailer trash lol I swear I am not and she isn't either. We are good people, college "kids"(I'm 25, she 24), and we are good friends to our friends. I don't understand how things happen like this...

 

There has been time between when she broke it off with him and when she contacted me.

 

It ****ing breaks my heart to know that someone could treat her like that. I could never do anything like that to her. After catching up a little by phone, we ended up meeting up and spent saturday night together and stayed up all night talking till 8 am. We did nothing other than talk.

 

I still feel so connected to her and even after everything she put me through, I have seen what I did that made her leave me in the first place and I have seriously made so much progress in my life since it all went down.

 

Now I am torn because I know that she doesn't feel that way about me right now(in love). When we talked, we both told each other many times we do and always will love each other. Also, we both admitted that we still haven't found anyone who quite compares to the other, in terms of connecting and being able to truly be ourselves around. Why can't she accept my love which is good, pure, wants the best for her, and would never hurt her?

 

I know she is talking to another guy right now too, and I would be lying if I said that that isn't getting to me.

 

It took me a really really long time to adapt to not being with her anymore, and I was so happy when I realized I wasn't thinking of her the instant I woke up in the mornings or in the middle of the night or throughout the day. But now I feel really confused. After hearing that she was forced to not speak to me against her will (or any of her friends for that matter), I feel like this evil picture I had in my mind of her was a total lie. I have been talking and what not with other girls but when I think about it, I miss her. I miss all the great times we shared. I want that back.

 

We are going to do something together on valentines. I have kept it much cooler than I did during the break up, but she knows me well and I know she can tell I feel for her. I can tell she does for me, but she is having a hard time after everything this last guy put her through. I don't think it's fair to complicate things with her. But if we both aren't all in, then it can't work. Weird how when you think you finally have come to terms with things life comes back and kicks you in the balls..

Edited February 13, 2013 by maxy1