unknownsources Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 I asked a girl out today, for the first time since early high school (couple of years). Took me a while to work up to courage to do it, but I gave her a called and asked... ... and she's got a boyfriend... But ya know, I feel good. It's kind of odd, I wasn't sure how I would feel with the rejection. I guess her having a boyfriend is better than her flat out saying "no" but still, it sucks. But somehow I'm not really upset about it. Have I reached enlightenment? Just thought I'd share. Link to post Share on other sites
nowwhatnow Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 wow good for you! its been about 13 months since i was dumped by my bf of 2 years and after getting back to school i am finally ready to start looking again...the only problem is i havent many any guys i have liked and im too shy to ask out anyone who even seems like a long shot! thats really great that you tried. i only hope someone will ask me out! keep it up, soon you will find one single who is as into you as you are to her Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Congratulations for not having a meltdown and getting drunk and smoking crack and getting arrested with a ho. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unknownsources Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 wow good for you! its been about 13 months since i was dumped by my bf of 2 years and after getting back to school i am finally ready to start looking again...the only problem is i havent many any guys i have liked and im too shy to ask out anyone who even seems like a long shot! thats really great that you tried. i only hope someone will ask me out! keep it up, soon you will find one single who is as into you as you are to her Haha yeah, it took me quite a bit of mental prep to call her up. Obviously, I feel disappointed that it didn't work out. She's the first girl I've met in a long while that I felt so stress free talking to (I tend to get a bit shy around new people, girls and guys). But alas, not meant to be at the moment. I guess I've always held a bit of a logical view that there's no reason getting upset over something you can't control. Much harder to actually put that view into practice though. I guess ya just gotta keep your eyes looking out and keep goin along. Congratulations for not having a meltdown and getting drunk and smoking crack and getting arrested with a ho. Why thank you Music played a big part in me not being depressed right now. I was listening to some sadder stuff, and out of no where, it hit me that I felt like an idiot feeling sad over this. Put on some James Brown and I'm feelin' good Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Why didn't you ask her out in person? Good job in making a move though! I think its good to face repeated failure before a major sucess! Link to post Share on other sites
Author unknownsources Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 Why didn't you ask her out in person? Good job in making a move though! I think its good to face repeated failure before a major sucess! Don't think I didn't try. The reason I've got a runny nose and tissues at hand is because I stood out in the cold after class waiting for her. Sounds stupider than I hope it was... haha. I walked her to her car, but it was cold when we got there, and she shot in before I could say otherwise. I called her a little while after. I kind of feel the same haha. You can't learn if everything always goes in your favor. Now I know, if possible, find out if she has a boyfriend already... Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Don't think I didn't try. The reason I've got a runny nose and tissues at hand is because I stood out in the cold after class waiting for her. Sounds stupider than I hope it was... haha. I walked her to her car, but it was cold when we got there, and she shot in before I could say otherwise. I called her a little while after. I kind of feel the same haha. You can't learn if everything always goes in your favor. Now I know, if possible, find out if she has a boyfriend already... The part where you thought it was imposible to ask her out in person and that she shot into her car. It's all in your head. Ask girls out in person it makes all the diference. Women love confidence and it will always be more confident to ask out in person. Girls also often have a knee jerk reaction to say no. If you're there in person they some times say yes when they would have other wise said no. Then the start liking you more and more the more they see you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unknownsources Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 The part where you thought it was imposible to ask her out in person and that she shot into her car. It's all in your head. Ask girls out in person it makes all the diference. Women love confidence and it will always be more confident to ask out in person. Girls also often have a knee jerk reaction to say no. If you're there in person they some times say yes when they would have other wise said no. Then the start liking you more and more the more they see you. Yep, definitely would have been preferable. On the other hand, on the off chance that she actually does have a boyfriend (which I believe she does) it probably would have been a pretty awkward. Again, next time I ask someone out, it will definitely be in person. Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Yep, definitely would have been preferable. On the other hand, on the off chance that she actually does have a boyfriend (which I believe she does) it probably would have been a pretty awkward. Again, next time I ask someone out, it will definitely be in person. Whether she has a bf or not is beside the point. It's good for it to be awkward. The more awkward it is the more romantic it is. Remember that. Comfortable is boring. Exciting is where its at. Women love that sexual tension that comes from what you think of as awkward situations. Also feel free to ask this girl out again if you feel she is giving the signals to you again. This so called boyfriend might not exist. Even if he is real she might have only been dating him for a few months and it will be over next month. I mean she didn't tell you she lived with the guy... which she might. Also finding out girls have a boyfriend the way you did is best. It's lame to ask girls if they have boyfriends. So finding out by asking her out is cool! Link to post Share on other sites
Author unknownsources Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 Whether she has a bf or not is beside the point. It's good for it to be awkward. The more awkward it is the more romantic it is. Remember that. Comfortable is boring. Exciting is where its at. Women love that sexual tension that comes from what you think of as awkward situations. Also feel free to ask this girl out again if you feel she is giving the signals to you again. This so called boyfriend might not exist. Even if he is real she might have only been dating him for a few months and it will be over next month. I mean she didn't tell you she lived with the guy... which she might. Also finding out girls have a boyfriend the way you did is best. It's lame to ask girls if they have boyfriends. So finding out by asking her out is cool! True that. I might actually ask her out again in a few months. The way she reacted seemed like she would have said yes in other circumstances. We get along quite well. I definitely want to stay in touch with her, just in case. And hell, if nothing else we can be friends and I'll get used to talking to a hot girl I never even considered asking "hey, do you have a boyfriend?". Just sounds like a weird thing to ask that doesn't give you a lot of conversation options either way. Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 True that. I might actually ask her out again in a few months. The way she reacted seemed like she would have said yes in other circumstances. We get along quite well. I definitely want to stay in touch with her, just in case. And hell, if nothing else we can be friends and I'll get used to talking to a hot girl I never even considered asking "hey, do you have a boyfriend?". Just sounds like a weird thing to ask that doesn't give you a lot of conversation options either way. A lot of guys like to ask a girl "do you have a bf." It's a very lame transparent question glad you see past it. Most girls I've ever gone out with at first said no to me and then later said yes. Perseverance has its many rewards. It's also important to just have fun and meet more then one girl in the getting to know you stage. Once you start holding hands and kissing you can focus on one girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unknownsources Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 A lot of guys like to ask a girl "do you have a bf." It's a very lame transparent question glad you see past it. Most girls I've ever gone out with at first said no to me and then later said yes. Perseverance has its many rewards. Yeah, seems too tentative to me. I mean, I'm a shy guy, if I'm gonna get up the courage to ask a girl out, I'm gonna just go for it. Seems easier to cut out as many things as needed. I'm seriously hoping I get another chance with this girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Yeah, seems too tentative to me. I mean, I'm a shy guy, if I'm gonna get up the courage to ask a girl out, I'm gonna just go for it. Seems easier to cut out as many things as needed. I'm seriously hoping I get another chance with this girl. Just play it cool. Also don't focus on her like some stalker. Other pretty girls are out there too. Ask them out. Also relize whe you ask a girl out its a way of getting to know them better. That means if they reject you they are just rejecting some guy they don't know. Don't take it personal. I've been rejected by more girls in one night when single then you probably have your entire life many times over. Let me tell you its a rush to just be a man and have fun with it all. Be yourself is what I'm saying. Don't be a dumb downed afraid version of you. Be the real you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unknownsources Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 Just play it cool. Also don't focus on her like some stalker. Other pretty girls are out there too. Ask them out. Also relize whe you ask a girl out its a way of getting to know them better. That means if they reject you they are just rejecting some guy they don't know. Don't take it personal. I've been rejected by more girls in one night when single then you probably have your entire life many times over. Let me tell you its a rush to just be a man and have fun with it all. Be yourself is what I'm saying. Don't be a dumb downed afraid version of you. Be the real you. Of course, I don't plan on Googling her all weekend before incessantly texting her before I see her again on Tuesday. I plan on smiling and saying hi when I see her like I always have. Logically, there's no reason a single question should change a friendship, at least if it has a rational response. (as you can see, I've been awake for a few minutes too long to be comin up with this stuff) I have no doubt you have, but I'm more content with getting to know someone then asking them out. That's me Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Of course, I don't plan on Googling her all weekend before incessantly texting her before I see her again on Tuesday. I plan on smiling and saying hi when I see her like I always have. Logically, there's no reason a single question should change a friendship, at least if it has a rational response. (as you can see, I've been awake for a few minutes too long to be comin up with this stuff) I have no doubt you have, but I'm more content with getting to know someone then asking them out. That's me You have a break in logic. Getting to know some one as a friend is completely different then getting to know some one as a lover. A guy who dates a girl can get to know her more in that first month then all the years you might have known her. Thats why its important to get to know some one you are romanticaly interested in romanticaly. As opposed to just casualy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unknownsources Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 You have a break in logic. Getting to know some one as a friend is completely different then getting to know some one as a lover. A guy who dates a girl can get to know her more in that first month then all the years you might have known her. Thats why its important to get to know some one you are romanticaly interested in romanticaly. As opposed to just casualy. That's true as well, but as I've said, it is what it is at the moment... Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 You're doing good. The more a person faces failure the greater their sucess. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unknownsources Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 You're doing good. The more a person faces failure the greater their sucess. I sure hope so haha. I'd like some success sooner than later... Link to post Share on other sites
khele2k Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 But ya know, I feel good. It's kind of odd, I wasn't sure how I would feel with the rejection. I think a big reason you feel good is because you finally worked up the courage to ask a girl out after years of avoiding it. Getting rejected is a lot easier when you really feel like you went after what you wanted. If you half-ass it then you take the rejection a lot harder. Link to post Share on other sites
khele2k Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Getting to know some one as a friend is completely different then getting to know some one as a lover. Thats why its important to get to know some one you are romanticaly interested in romanticaly. As opposed to just casualy. This is excellent advice. You're not fantasizing about what it would be like to help her hold her bags at the mall. You're thinking about what she looks like naked. Don't talk to her like one of her girlfriend's would. Keep it relaxed and sexually playful. You want her thinking about how hot you are while she's with her boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unknownsources Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 I think a big reason you feel good is because you finally worked up the courage to ask a girl out after years of avoiding it. Getting rejected is a lot easier when you really feel like you went after what you wanted. If you half-ass it then you take the rejection a lot harder. Very true. Hit the nail on the head pretty much haha. I'd guess also because it wasn't like a full on rejection. Like, she didn't say "nah, I don't want to go out with you" but more "it wouldn't be appropriate, as I have a boyfriend". That's a bit easier to take. This is excellent advice. You're not fantasizing about what it would be like to help her hold her bags at the mall. You're thinking about what she looks like naked. Don't talk to her like one of her girlfriend's would. Keep it relaxed and sexually playful. You want her thinking about how hot you are while she's with her boyfriend. Yep. I didn't plan on changing the way I talk to her (if I tried, I'd fµck it up anyway). Just gonna do what I do, be respectful of what she's got goin' on, and be ready to swoop in if/when an opportunity pops up. Odd to say it, but it worked for the guy who's dating my sister, and they seem to be pretty damn happy together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unknownsources Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 Saw her today, the first since I called her. She came right up and we chatted as usual. Which is nice. It felt like if we had been quiet for any extended time it would be awkward, but we just joked around. That relieves some anxious/nervous feelings I had. Unfortunately, it looks like we might not have any common classes next year. So between now and mid December I have to find out a way to keep in touch without seeming like I'm asking her out again (that is, if she still has a boyfriend). Link to post Share on other sites
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