Mystic Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 Recently I have started to question my 16 month relashionship, which is now temporarily long distant. He works many hours and we dont see each other much at all. Most important I question how he feels, he broke up with me once only to ask me back a week later. I guess my main question, is how do you know when it is time to give up on a relashionship and move on? I have found myself being attracted to other guys in the past few weeks and I like the attention that they give me. I always feel bad afterward even though Im not cheating. I do love him and I could see myself marrying him (he isnt sure if he ever wants to get married). I just dont know if it is gonna work... any advice?? Link to post Share on other sites
Love2share Posted May 22, 2004 Share Posted May 22, 2004 The only way you can make is work is if he wants to make it work as well. Because of the way you feel, lonely, empty, neglected...he isn't doing a good job at loving you. He is: A) Not interested in you anymore B) Thoughtless because he never made you feel loved before C) So busy he doesn't have time and energy to invest in the relatiohship D) Doesn't know how to handle the LDR First you need to have a serious talk with him. Tell him how you feel neglected and lonely. If he cares about you at all, he will suggest something to make you feel better. Ask him how he feels. It could be that he is okay with the LDR situation. If (D) is the problem, you can work it out. If it's A, B, or C, then you both need to decide if the situation is workable. Hopefully he will be honest about his feelings not to lead you on and eventually hurt you, badly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mystic Posted May 23, 2004 Author Share Posted May 23, 2004 You are exactly right and I do plan to talk to him soon. Thanks so much, I will keep you updated!! Link to post Share on other sites
InVinoVeritas76 Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 I've always had relationships where women questioned attention over love. Don't make a mistake. Question why you get the attention you do. Is it for things that are really admirable or of any real value? Do the guys who give you attention appreciate any number of things that your current doesn't. I doubt it. I think all of the attention you get is from a place which makes it null and void. Don't lose sight of what is really important. You will NOT be happy if you settle for just getting attention. If I know women, and I think I do, too much attention breeds disinterest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mystic Posted May 25, 2004 Author Share Posted May 25, 2004 I understand what you are saying but when do you just give up, ya know? When is enough just that... enough. I feel like I give and give to get nothing in return. He puts me last and I'm not sure that I can change that. I think he cares about me but I question so many things. I just want to feel important and really loved. If I dont make an effort, then I dont see him. I do love him and they are obvious reasons why I want to stay with me, I just dont know what to do anymore or if I can make it work. Thank you so much for reply, I hope to hear back form you!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Love2share Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Does anyone have any advice on this one. How do you know when enough is enough. That's tough !!! I mean we could all meet new people. But nobody's perfect. Keeping that in mind, you see why it's easy to forgive, and forgive, while allowing the person a chance to change for the better. Unfortunately, we get sucked into bad situations. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Originally posted by Mystic I understand what you are saying but when do you just give up, ya know? When is enough just that... enough. I feel like I give and give to get nothing in return. He puts me last and I'm not sure that I can change that. I think he cares about me but I question so many things. I just want to feel important and really loved. If I dont make an effort, then I dont see him. I do love him and they are obvious reasons why I want to stay with me, I just dont know what to do anymore or if I can make it work. Thank you so much for reply, I hope to hear back form you!!! Don't we all want to feel important and really loved! I'm just gonna say this: it takes time. It takes lots of time to make a relationship work, to get comfortable, open up and love and allow to be loved. If you go out because you think this other guy can make you feel more loved, you're in for a big dissapointment. We are all victims of rutine and habit. Think very well at what you're throwing away. Getting tired of it is a lame argument... meaning you're weak! You said you were thinking of him as the man in your life... How can you give up just like that? I know you can give good arguments... just be sure to really evaluate his importance in your life and question yourself on the real real REAL reason of your wanting out. Link to post Share on other sites
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