Blindsided. Dumped by a runner. GIGS?

[Von]

I wish I wasnt back posting here, other than helpful advice, but now its my turn again.

 

I met my girl about two years ago. That relationship never got started, as she said that at that time she wasnt ready for one. Fast forward to early this year and we met up again and started dating. When we met again, she was pregnant with another mans baby. I talked to her alot about this, since that is a huge red flag, and our attraction for each other and our talks alleviated my concerns of her running back to the father. Basically she had dumped him before she knew she was pregnant, and she said she had no feelings for him whatsoever. I never had any inclination that she would go back to him, even up to the breakup. Anyways, I stood by her during the pregnancy, was there for the birth, helped pick the baby name, we never fought once, I was good to her and her daughters, we were just great together and it was fun, pretty much a perfect relationship from start to end.

 

During this time we never really had any "discussions" of concerns. But I thought she wasnt going to have the father in the picture at all, yet she decided to let him see the baby a week after birth. When I raised concerns about this is when she told me that I was the greatest man she ever had, she fell in love with me when I held the baby (I loved the baby instantly btw), he was of no concern, and that I was the man she wanted to marry. I had already been feeling in love with her but this cemented it for us. So everything was great up to this week.

 

An old friend started coming back around, who she had dated in the past, but she swore was just a friend. I raised concerns about him since he had been trying to get with her when we first started talking, but she said it was just friends, he has a girlfriend, and I shouldnt be jealous. I didnt think I was "acting jealous" but was just questioning his motives, and just didnt want anything coming between us. She said it was all innocent and so I trusted her and everything was cool. It was a really normal conversation.

 

Later on, she told me out of the blue she was going to be going back to a job she had years ago. It is a night schedule. Instead of immediately being supportive of what she decided to do, I question her about it, and when we would have time to see each other, and the babies, and her school. I didnt think it would be a big deal to talk to her about these things, its normal in a long term relationship to voice your opinion and find compromises, but she said she's never had to have any "talks" in any of her past relationships. SO she wasnt too happy with me about our talks but everything still seeemed fine. The next day I told her that I wanted her to know we had those talks because I truely love her and think she is special and the woman I want to spend my life with. Well she started to say her feelings had kinda changed. SHe said she is not used to having talks. So naturally I started freaking out inside. But I kept my cool. I let her know she should think about us and see how she feels and if we should continue. I ended up texting her and telling her that I didnt want us to breakup or anything, just want to work out any issues.

 

AND THEN WITHIN A FEW HOURS SHE CALLED ME AND DUMPED ME. I was totally devastated. I coudnt understand how she could do this to me, seeing as we had such a loving good relationship, and I thought talking about things were so normal. She said she just couldnt work on things, and didnt want to try, and that "this is what she does, she just runs". I tried to reason with her, and would do everything I could to help her through her issues, and I told her how I felt. She just kept saying she runs. She said a bunch of typical break-up lines.. like "Im not good enough for you" "you deserve a better woman" "I dont want anymore babies and you do" "I dont have enough time for us" "I just cant do this anymore". It was so cold hearted and quick and she didnt seem very remorseful other than she kept saying "sorry". Ive read many times that those lines typically mean there is another guy. I asked if there was and she said no.

 

I did send her an email before deleting her from my facebook. That I was sorry for seeming jealous and insecure in our talks, that I wasnt trying to put any pressure or stress on her, anything other than talk about things I felt were important to our relationship. I let her know how I felt about her, and that I wasnt trying to get her back, because I respected her decision but that I wish we could be together. I said I would do my best to move on and continue to be be the good man that I am. I have been in NC since then.

 

It seems to me, that with emotions from giving birth, and the stress she has had, and then me wanting to have "talks", pushed her over the edge and made her lose her love instantly. I also believe that her ex the father has been probably trying to get back with her. I dont believe the guy friend was involved, just the father. She seems to be emotionally immature, and I wish I had seen this before I fell in love and got my heart ripped out.

 

I read the thread by wilsonx on "I am no longer attracted to you". And the "grass is greener syndrome". And it makes sense to me. She said she had a broken messed up childhood. And she runs and doesnt want to have talks.

 

Even though she left me, and she seems to be GIGS, I do love her and do wish we could still be together and I could help her. I'm in NC now because I dont know what else to do

[DownNotOut]

Von - I'm sorry, I know how bad you are hurting. Yours and I strike similar chords - I dated a girl younger than myself and she came from a troubled childhood - father abandoned her and she left me I believe for GIGS or just couldn't handle the overall stress and it boiled over and she ran. I know her relationship history and it seems to be a track on repeat and will continue to repeat until she fixes herself.

 

I guess the best advice I can give you it to let her go, don't wait around and work on getting yourself better - you never know what the future will hold, if she will re-appear, if you'll even want to entertain the fact.

 

Compromise, communication, and those talks are the foundation of any successful relationship and she seems to deflect or avoid from that, which isn't healthy - most relationships fail because of lack of communication, honesty or trust.

 

Check out my story when you have some time and let me know your thoughts - we seem to be living similar nightmares:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t305160/

[ChelseaLS]

I wish I wasnt back posting here, other than helpful advice, but now its my turn again.

 

I met my girl about two years ago. That relationship never got started, as she said that at that time she wasnt ready for one. Fast forward to early this year and we met up again and started dating. When we met again, she was pregnant with another mans baby. I talked to her alot about this, since that is a huge red flag, and our attraction for each other and our talks alleviated my concerns of her running back to the father. Basically she had dumped him before she knew she was pregnant, and she said she had no feelings for him whatsoever. I never had any inclination that she would go back to him, even up to the breakup. Anyways, I stood by her during the pregnancy, was there for the birth, helped pick the baby name, we never fought once, I was good to her and her daughters, we were just great together and it was fun, pretty much a perfect relationship from start to end.

 

During this time we never really had any "discussions" of concerns. But I thought she wasnt going to have the father in the picture at all, yet she decided to let him see the baby a week after birth. When I raised concerns about this is when she told me that I was the greatest man she ever had, she fell in love with me when I held the baby (I loved the baby instantly btw), he was of no concern, and that I was the man she wanted to marry. I had already been feeling in love with her but this cemented it for us. So everything was great up to this week.

 

An old friend started coming back around, who she had dated in the past, but she swore was just a friend. I raised concerns about him since he had been trying to get with her when we first started talking, but she said it was just friends, he has a girlfriend, and I shouldnt be jealous. I didnt think I was "acting jealous" but was just questioning his motives, and just didnt want anything coming between us. She said it was all innocent and so I trusted her and everything was cool. It was a really normal conversation.

 

Later on, she told me out of the blue she was going to be going back to a job she had years ago. It is a night schedule. Instead of immediately being supportive of what she decided to do, I question her about it, and when we would have time to see each other, and the babies, and her school. I didnt think it would be a big deal to talk to her about these things, its normal in a long term relationship to voice your opinion and find compromises, but she said she's never had to have any "talks" in any of her past relationships. SO she wasnt too happy with me about our talks but everything still seeemed fine. The next day I told her that I wanted her to know we had those talks because I truely love her and think she is special and the woman I want to spend my life with. Well she started to say her feelings had kinda changed. SHe said she is not used to having talks. So naturally I started freaking out inside. But I kept my cool. I let her know she should think about us and see how she feels and if we should continue. I ended up texting her and telling her that I didnt want us to breakup or anything, just want to work out any issues.

 

AND THEN WITHIN A FEW HOURS SHE CALLED ME AND DUMPED ME. I was totally devastated. I coudnt understand how she could do this to me, seeing as we had such a loving good relationship, and I thought talking about things were so normal. She said she just couldnt work on things, and didnt want to try, and that "this is what she does, she just runs". I tried to reason with her, and would do everything I could to help her through her issues, and I told her how I felt. She just kept saying she runs. She said a bunch of typical break-up lines.. like "Im not good enough for you" "you deserve a better woman" "I dont want anymore babies and you do" "I dont have enough time for us" "I just cant do this anymore". It was so cold hearted and quick and she didnt seem very remorseful other than she kept saying "sorry". Ive read many times that those lines typically mean there is another guy. I asked if there was and she said no.

 

I did send her an email before deleting her from my facebook. That I was sorry for seeming jealous and insecure in our talks, that I wasnt trying to put any pressure or stress on her, anything other than talk about things I felt were important to our relationship. I let her know how I felt about her, and that I wasnt trying to get her back, because I respected her decision but that I wish we could be together. I said I would do my best to move on and continue to be be the good man that I am. I have been in NC since then.

 

It seems to me, that with emotions from giving birth, and the stress she has had, and then me wanting to have "talks", pushed her over the edge and made her lose her love instantly. I also believe that her ex the father has been probably trying to get back with her. I dont believe the guy friend was involved, just the father. She seems to be emotionally immature, and I wish I had seen this before I fell in love and got my heart ripped out.

 

I read the thread by wilsonx on "I am no longer attracted to you". And the "grass is greener syndrome". And it makes sense to me. She said she had a broken messed up childhood. And she runs and doesnt want to have talks.

 

Even though she left me, and she seems to be GIGS, I do love her and do wish we could still be together and I could help her. I'm in NC now because I dont know what else to do

 

 

I had a broken messup childhood and I am fine. I have talks. Talks are normal and natural. We can't read minds... so how else do we deal with issues and problems. My ex hated talks too... I told him just that, "I cannot read your mind. I am not asking you to spill your soul to me, but it's unfair to think I should just know or not tell me and let things fester".

 

If I were you, I wouldn't have apologized for sounding insecure and needy. I would have said, "I am sorry that you feel I was being insecure and needy... that is not the case." I am tired of people apologizing when they are the ones getting **** on.. unless of course there really is something to be sorry about.

 

Anyways it doesn't sound like a grass is greener thing to me. I don't think she was ever there emotionally in the relationship. I think she was prego and alone, and you were kind and there for her.

 

NC is good. Especially in these cowardly break ups... who breaks up over the phone? Carry on my friend, be strong, talks are normal.

[DownNotOut]

I think ChelseaLS is spot on - just because you come from a broken childhood doesn't mean your damaged goods, but if you haven't done the work to repair that - it will surface and cause relationship problems. I know the girl I dated was young for one and hasn't dealt with that and the 3 or 4 relationships she's had in her life all have a similar ring. They are either emotionally disconnected or immature and either they don't know how to handle it or just run and leave you holding the bag. The hardest part about mine was a text message breakup - but in hindsight seems to fit her cowardly MO.

[carhill]

OP, I'd suggest going back and re-reading this thread and storing it away for future use. You received a lot of good advice there. Now you know who she really is. Accept it. My sympathies.

[Von]

I had a broken messup childhood and I am fine. I have talks. Talks are normal and natural. We can't read minds... so how else do we deal with issues and problems. My ex hated talks too... I told him just that, "I cannot read your mind. I am not asking you to spill your soul to me, but it's unfair to think I should just know or not tell me and let things fester".

 

If I were you, I wouldn't have apologized for sounding insecure and needy. I would have said, "I am sorry that you feel I was being insecure and needy... that is not the case." I am tired of people apologizing when they are the ones getting **** on.. unless of course there really is something to be sorry about.

 

Anyways it doesn't sound like a grass is greener thing to me. I don't think she was ever there emotionally in the relationship. I think she was prego and alone, and you were kind and there for her.

 

NC is good. Especially in these cowardly break ups... who breaks up over the phone? Carry on my friend, be strong, talks are normal.

 

Yes well I did say that even though I seemed jealous and insecure, that wasnt the case. I apologized because it felt the right thing to say. But I made sure I came across as apologizing for SEEMING to be that way. I know it doesnt appear she was emotionally there, but I could tell she was. But I think it was weaker than I felt. I wonder if she feels anything at this point. Sadly probably not. She just sucked the life out of me.

 

And I also think your right that she needed someone and I came in as the "caretaker".

 

Yeah phone breakups are weak. Running is weak. Im glad I am not like that. Im glad I am strong. I will not break NC. Not unless it is abundantly clear to me that she has a change of heart. But I highly doubt that.

[Von]

Von - I'm sorry, I know how bad you are hurting. Yours and I strike similar chords - I dated a girl younger than myself and she came from a troubled childhood - father abandoned her and she left me I believe for GIGS or just couldn't handle the overall stress and it boiled over and she ran. I know her relationship history and it seems to be a track on repeat and will continue to repeat until she fixes herself.

 

I guess the best advice I can give you it to let her go, don't wait around and work on getting yourself better - you never know what the future will hold, if she will re-appear, if you'll even want to entertain the fact.

 

Compromise, communication, and those talks are the foundation of any successful relationship and she seems to deflect or avoid from that, which isn't healthy - most relationships fail because of lack of communication, honesty or trust.

 

Check out my story when you have some time and let me know your thoughts - we seem to be living similar nightmares:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t305160/

 

Thank you for your kind words. Im doing my best to cope. And your right, those are the things of a good relationship, and how could we have one if she wasnt willing to do any of that.

[Von]

OP, I'd suggest going back and re-reading this thread and storing it away for future use. You received a lot of good advice there. Now you know who she really is. Accept it. My sympathies.

 

Your right. I know I should have headed the advice better. It still hurts.

 

When I read it again I cant believe I even mentioned other women, as they didnt have my interest at all. Only she did. They were just basically txt buddies, and really not that much, and I was only focused on her. Kinda sad.

 

I know she is a good woman, but her issue of running and not wanting to deal with things is heart breaking. I wish I could help her. But I understand that someone like that just resents the help, and just sees it as "controlling" even though it isnt. In fact, I bet she thinks I controlled her, when in no way shape or form would I ever. I want her back more than anything, and not seeing her daughters is killing me. But like I said I dont know what else to do but NC. Contact would only make her run farther, and resent me. AT least I know my heart is in the right place.

[carhill]

'Future use' is when she contacts you again. You were a temporary and convenient safe haven. People like shelter. When you started throwing up a few boundaries and wanting to 'talk', the price of shelter got too high and people like her want shelter at an affordable rate. You got too expensive. Stay expensive. She'll be fine at another shelter.

[DownNotOut]

Yep - strict NC is really all you can do. Anything else will sabotage your efforts to heal and move on. Anything you do or say will be misinterpreted by her, so the best answer is silence and to disappear. Believe me - she will think about everything on her own terms when and decide what she wants to do - that's pretty much out of your hands now. Best to work on yourself. It sucks - I know it sucks. I adored her daughter and she adored me even calling me 'daddy' and to have that all ripped out of my world, by text message no less stings more than anyone can imagine. I can't believe she would do that to me or to her daughter for that fact - but I know who she is now and I'm glad it happened 1 1/2 years into it rather than another child and having to deal with that drama the rest of my life. Good luck - keep your head up.

[wilsonx]

I wish I wasnt back posting here, other than helpful advice, but now its my turn again.

 

I met my girl about two years ago. That relationship never got started, as she said that at that time she wasnt ready for one. Fast forward to early this year and we met up again and started dating. When we met again, she was pregnant with another mans baby. I talked to her alot about this, since that is a huge red flag, and our attraction for each other and our talks alleviated my concerns of her running back to the father. Basically she had dumped him before she knew she was pregnant, and she said she had no feelings for him whatsoever. I never had any inclination that she would go back to him, even up to the breakup. Anyways, I stood by her during the pregnancy, was there for the birth, helped pick the baby name, we never fought once, I was good to her and her daughters, we were just great together and it was fun, pretty much a perfect relationship from start to end.

 

During this time we never really had any "discussions" of concerns. But I thought she wasnt going to have the father in the picture at all, yet she decided to let him see the baby a week after birth. When I raised concerns about this is when she told me that I was the greatest man she ever had, she fell in love with me when I held the baby (I loved the baby instantly btw), he was of no concern, and that I was the man she wanted to marry. I had already been feeling in love with her but this cemented it for us. So everything was great up to this week.

 

An old friend started coming back around, who she had dated in the past, but she swore was just a friend. I raised concerns about him since he had been trying to get with her when we first started talking, but she said it was just friends, he has a girlfriend, and I shouldnt be jealous. I didnt think I was "acting jealous" but was just questioning his motives, and just didnt want anything coming between us. She said it was all innocent and so I trusted her and everything was cool. It was a really normal conversation.

 

Later on, she told me out of the blue she was going to be going back to a job she had years ago. It is a night schedule. Instead of immediately being supportive of what she decided to do, I question her about it, and when we would have time to see each other, and the babies, and her school. I didnt think it would be a big deal to talk to her about these things, its normal in a long term relationship to voice your opinion and find compromises, but she said she's never had to have any "talks" in any of her past relationships. SO she wasnt too happy with me about our talks but everything still seeemed fine. The next day I told her that I wanted her to know we had those talks because I truely love her and think she is special and the woman I want to spend my life with. Well she started to say her feelings had kinda changed. SHe said she is not used to having talks. So naturally I started freaking out inside. But I kept my cool. I let her know she should think about us and see how she feels and if we should continue. I ended up texting her and telling her that I didnt want us to breakup or anything, just want to work out any issues.

 

AND THEN WITHIN A FEW HOURS SHE CALLED ME AND DUMPED ME. I was totally devastated. I coudnt understand how she could do this to me, seeing as we had such a loving good relationship, and I thought talking about things were so normal. She said she just couldnt work on things, and didnt want to try, and that "this is what she does, she just runs". I tried to reason with her, and would do everything I could to help her through her issues, and I told her how I felt. She just kept saying she runs. She said a bunch of typical break-up lines.. like "Im not good enough for you" "you deserve a better woman" "I dont want anymore babies and you do" "I dont have enough time for us" "I just cant do this anymore". It was so cold hearted and quick and she didnt seem very remorseful other than she kept saying "sorry". Ive read many times that those lines typically mean there is another guy. I asked if there was and she said no.

 

I did send her an email before deleting her from my facebook. That I was sorry for seeming jealous and insecure in our talks, that I wasnt trying to put any pressure or stress on her, anything other than talk about things I felt were important to our relationship. I let her know how I felt about her, and that I wasnt trying to get her back, because I respected her decision but that I wish we could be together. I said I would do my best to move on and continue to be be the good man that I am. I have been in NC since then.

 

It seems to me, that with emotions from giving birth, and the stress she has had, and then me wanting to have "talks", pushed her over the edge and made her lose her love instantly. I also believe that her ex the father has been probably trying to get back with her. I dont believe the guy friend was involved, just the father. She seems to be emotionally immature, and I wish I had seen this before I fell in love and got my heart ripped out.

 

I read the thread by wilsonx on "I am no longer attracted to you". And the "grass is greener syndrome". And it makes sense to me. She said she had a broken messed up childhood. And she runs and doesnt want to have talks.

 

Even though she left me, and she seems to be GIGS, I do love her and do wish we could still be together and I could help her. I'm in NC now because I dont know what else to do

 

So you learned a lesson, never ignore red flags. Run with it. Another lesson to be learned is dont play Captain Save a Hoe. You did it here you learned, you are hurting, thank god it was only for a short amount of time.

 

I have so many responses to GIGS breakups like these, I should create a copy/paste template. One of the biggest things you should learn from this is always stand up for yourself. Don't appologize for being who you are. If you were being insecure and needy, there was a reason behind it, your gut and intuition were telling you something that you weren't listening too.

 

Lessons to be learned from this

1) Stand up for yourself

2) Retire your Captain Save a Hoe mentality, you have your own problems to deal with in life without having to worry about dealing with other people's emotional baggage. Thats there problem, not yours.

3) Your lucky it wasn't your kid

4) Go NC remember the rules rinse and repeat.

 

I had a broken messup childhood and I am fine. I have talks. Talks are normal and natural. We can't read minds... so how else do we deal with issues and problems. My ex hated talks too... I told him just that, "I cannot read your mind. I am not asking you to spill your soul to me, but it's unfair to think I should just know or not tell me and let things fester".

 

If I were you, I wouldn't have apologized for sounding insecure and needy. I would have said, "I am sorry that you feel I was being insecure and needy... that is not the case." I am tired of people apologizing when they are the ones getting **** on.. unless of course there really is something to be sorry about.

 

Anyways it doesn't sound like a grass is greener thing to me. I don't think she was ever there emotionally in the relationship. I think she was prego and alone, and you were kind and there for her.

 

NC is good. Especially in these cowardly break ups... who breaks up over the phone? Carry on my friend, be strong, talks are normal.

 

This was a good post right here. The concept of water seeks its own level shows to be true. This is where reflection of who you are is definitely important. Reflect on who you were dating, dont blame him, say "I allowed my ex to..."

 

You are a reflection of who you are in a long term relationship with. You need to be able to see this in order to get out of that vicious cycle. Only way to do that is initiate change in your life, watch out for red flags from previous relationships and listen to yourself.

 

'Future use' is when she contacts you again. You were a temporary and convenient safe haven. People like shelter. When you started throwing up a few boundaries and wanting to 'talk', the price of shelter got too high and people like her want shelter at an affordable rate. You got too expensive. Stay expensive. She'll be fine at another shelter.

 

^^^^^^^^^^

This is spot on .... NC and stay that way.

[Sugarkane]

Von I remember your story and I'm sorry to hear what had happened. You deserve so much better. I don't know anyone that would be willing to be with someone, while pregnant with another mans baby. I think getting angry about having a talk is really immature. That's what people do in a relationship- they actually talk to each other.

[Mack05]

I wish I wasnt back posting here, other than helpful advice, but now its my turn again.

 

I met my girl about two years ago. That relationship never got started, as she said that at that time she wasnt ready for one. Fast forward to early this year and we met up again and started dating. When we met again, she was pregnant with another mans baby. I talked to her alot about this, since that is a huge red flag, and our attraction for each other and our talks alleviated my concerns of her running back to the father. Basically she had dumped him before she knew she was pregnant, and she said she had no feelings for him whatsoever. I never had any inclination that she would go back to him, even up to the breakup. Anyways, I stood by her during the pregnancy, was there for the birth, helped pick the baby name, we never fought once, I was good to her and her daughters, we were just great together and it was fun, pretty much a perfect relationship from start to end.

 

During this time we never really had any "discussions" of concerns. But I thought she wasnt going to have the father in the picture at all, yet she decided to let him see the baby a week after birth. When I raised concerns about this is when she told me that I was the greatest man she ever had, she fell in love with me when I held the baby (I loved the baby instantly btw), he was of no concern, and that I was the man she wanted to marry. I had already been feeling in love with her but this cemented it for us. So everything was great up to this week.

 

An old friend started coming back around, who she had dated in the past, but she swore was just a friend. I raised concerns about him since he had been trying to get with her when we first started talking, but she said it was just friends, he has a girlfriend, and I shouldnt be jealous. I didnt think I was "acting jealous" but was just questioning his motives, and just didnt want anything coming between us. She said it was all innocent and so I trusted her and everything was cool. It was a really normal conversation.

 

Later on, she told me out of the blue she was going to be going back to a job she had years ago. It is a night schedule. Instead of immediately being supportive of what she decided to do, I question her about it, and when we would have time to see each other, and the babies, and her school. I didnt think it would be a big deal to talk to her about these things, its normal in a long term relationship to voice your opinion and find compromises, but she said she's never had to have any "talks" in any of her past relationships. SO she wasnt too happy with me about our talks but everything still seeemed fine. The next day I told her that I wanted her to know we had those talks because I truely love her and think she is special and the woman I want to spend my life with. Well she started to say her feelings had kinda changed. SHe said she is not used to having talks. So naturally I started freaking out inside. But I kept my cool. I let her know she should think about us and see how she feels and if we should continue. I ended up texting her and telling her that I didnt want us to breakup or anything, just want to work out any issues.

 

AND THEN WITHIN A FEW HOURS SHE CALLED ME AND DUMPED ME. I was totally devastated. I coudnt understand how she could do this to me, seeing as we had such a loving good relationship, and I thought talking about things were so normal. She said she just couldnt work on things, and didnt want to try, and that "this is what she does, she just runs". I tried to reason with her, and would do everything I could to help her through her issues, and I told her how I felt. She just kept saying she runs. She said a bunch of typical break-up lines.. like "Im not good enough for you" "you deserve a better woman" "I dont want anymore babies and you do" "I dont have enough time for us" "I just cant do this anymore". It was so cold hearted and quick and she didnt seem very remorseful other than she kept saying "sorry". Ive read many times that those lines typically mean there is another guy. I asked if there was and she said no.

 

I did send her an email before deleting her from my facebook. That I was sorry for seeming jealous and insecure in our talks, that I wasnt trying to put any pressure or stress on her, anything other than talk about things I felt were important to our relationship. I let her know how I felt about her, and that I wasnt trying to get her back, because I respected her decision but that I wish we could be together. I said I would do my best to move on and continue to be be the good man that I am. I have been in NC since then.

 

It seems to me, that with emotions from giving birth, and the stress she has had, and then me wanting to have "talks", pushed her over the edge and made her lose her love instantly. I also believe that her ex the father has been probably trying to get back with her. I dont believe the guy friend was involved, just the father. She seems to be emotionally immature, and I wish I had seen this before I fell in love and got my heart ripped out.

 

I read the thread by wilsonx on "I am no longer attracted to you". And the "grass is greener syndrome". And it makes sense to me. She said she had a broken messed up childhood. And she runs and doesnt want to have talks.

 

Even though she left me, and she seems to be GIGS, I do love her and do wish we could still be together and I could help her. I'm in NC now because I dont know what else to do

 

Twinkles this is Von's post from 3 weeks ago. It is my opinion a emotionally healthy man gets involved with the kind of woman Von describes above. This does not make me a bad or angry man. It is just my opinion. He is now getting involved with another single mother. Probably (just a guess) a bad childhood too. I guess it's just me and a few others that see a pattern here.

 

I will leave this thread as I have made my points. Up to you guys to take what you want from the thread. I hope things work out for Von. That makes me neither bitter or angry..

[twinkles]

How sad for Von. I think in his heart he really wanted to do the honourable thing in this situation. Wrong person that's all.

 

Still, he has found his own way to cope. He came up with his own plan an hopefully it will prepare him for the future.

 

My bet is he fell in love with the child and that's what he is really missing. it's amazing what you will put up with when the love for a child is concerned. He had to let go of two people.