flyman8xi2 Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 I have formed a crush on a girl half my age. I work around a lot of women and this never happens this hard. I think some women are attractive but I don't fall for them. I do not want to have a crush on this girl but I can't stop dreaming about her constantly. I told her I have a crush on her in hopes that it would go away, and it has only gotten worse. I have been married for 24 years and in that time never had feelings for anyone but my wife. Before my wife I always acted on my feeling, I am a good looking man and there have been a lot, (not acting is very foreign to my personality). I am having a lot of trouble controlling this urge to make something happen. She is married with a little baby and my oldest daughter is older than she is. I realize all the negative results that could happen from one experience and for some reason I just don't care. It seems that my brain has lost control of my parts. I want to avoid her but I work with her and I can't, since I told her I had a crush I thought she might creep out and avoid me, but she ask me several times if I will come and visit her in her office, I say sure but I never go. I try to talk to my friends but they are all immature and of no help to me. Please help Signed Crazy Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 Tell your wife how you are feeling. That WILL help you regain perspective and get a grip on reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank13 Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 There are two issues here. First, just because you have a crush on her and want something to happen doesn't mean it will. In fact, if she turns you down, it will get much worse because you will want something that you can't have. Second, some women have no problem with guys being in love with them even if they have no interest in them. They suck up all the attention from the guy with no guilt. I too would think they would be creeped out but instead they milk it for all it is worth. As a man I couldn't do that to a woman. I would either distance myself from her or try to be friends (if she wanted) without leading her on or encouraging her giving me attention. Do you think she is willing to do something to you with her being married and having a new baby? Link to post Share on other sites
Author flyman8xi2 Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 I appreciate you reading this and also for your responses. When I wrote this I was 4 weeks into this thing trying to suppress my feeling and telling myself to stop it, and it just kept growing. Since than I have talked to some of my women friends and I am beging to calm down. I probably wouldn't have done anything with her even if she offered, I don't know, (she is very good looking). I did have some control because I never went to her office and tried to avoid her as much as possible. I am feeling very guilty for crushing on anyone to begin with, and to crush on someone younger than my daughter kind of creeps me out I will be seeing someone, because I don't understand why I let this happened to me. I am wondering/hoping if I can be friends with her, once I get my feeling under control (she is a very nice girl). Or will I ever get them under control?? Link to post Share on other sites
cavedweller Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 flyman, Don't put your meat where you get your bread. my 2 cents Link to post Share on other sites
mike111 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I am wondering/hoping if I can be friends with her, once I get my feeling under control (she is a very nice girl). Or will I ever get them under control?? I would stay as far away from her as possible. And yes, you NEED to get this under control. She's just a fling, that's all she would be. There is no future for either of you together. And you run the risk of losing EVERYTHING (wife, home, kids, money, reputation, self-respect) just to be close to this little office girl. I know you initiated this. But brush her off. Be rude to her if you have to. But just get rid of her, pronto. Link to post Share on other sites
harrymark Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 some women have no problem with guys being in love with them even if they have no interest in them. They suck up all the attention from the guy with no guilt. I too would think they would be creeped out but instead they milk it for all it is worth. As a man I couldn't do that to a woman. I would either distance myself from her or try to be friends (if she wanted) without leading her on or encouraging her giving me attention. And you run the risk of losing EVERYTHING (wife, home, kids, money, reputation, self-respect) just to be close to this little office girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 I have a different approach... First stop being so hard on yourself, you're a man and if she's attractive as you say she is than you are a man of good taste..that's all Don't build up this might wall of water crushing you down and you cannot resist. I suggest indulging yourself a little bit, take a peak at her, get some looks and admit to yourself that she is a piece of hot ass and like you'd like to roll her up like a sleeping bag. But of course don't act on it, just indulge yourself on the thoughts. I think eventually they will subside, and then spend some time with your family and your wife as well, let the reality sink in a bit and what you would be willing to trade or lose for a hot piece of yum yum. In the end we both know it wouldn't be worth it, plus you have to consider that she's toying and teasing you a little bit because that's what a lot of women like to do. However if you did it I would understand, also i would suggest posting pictures of her on here so that we can study the amount of temptation you are facing! Link to post Share on other sites
BillieAnn Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Regardless of age, occurs. We're just people. But you must stand and do not tell no one ! You don't have to make difficult your life! It will pass and will be funny to you , believe me! Link to post Share on other sites
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