the troubling number of cynical, bitter, sexually inexperienced men on this forum

[Mrlonelyone]

Why not hang out with friends then? Or try to go someplace where there are lots of women who like the same things you do? Wouldn't that be a good way to improve your romantic life?

They do. They vent here, then go out and act normal.

[aj22one]

I'm sorry what's the point of this thread? Are we proposing a solution to this problem other than putting people we don't like on ignore, or are we just making observations?

 

My solution of course is to get these guys laid, and not by a professional either.

[dasein]

and you figured this out in 10 posts, lord have mercy

 

Actually only 4 posts other than this thread. So well over half an early post count complaining about the complaining of a tiny percentage of members, threads and posts on a site.

 

Irony.

 

Tell me nova guy, how many of these alarming posts have you noticed in all the many other areas of this site besides the dating forum?

[carhill]

A woman has a thread about being abused - it turns into the whining angerfest of those guys. Another woman starts the "likes me for my personality" thread - same thing. Even with the guys on ignore, they derail very splendidly.

A suggestion: If any poster 'derails' a discussion by going off-topic and turning it into a cynical, bitter vent, report them and let the moderators deal with them. Off-topic postings are violations of the TOU and I've been moderated plenty of times for them.

 

Another suggestion: Augment the software ignore list with a focus on the OP and their issue. If that OP is one of the 'shrill voices', simply move on to the next thread. If a respondent, simply respond/post to the OP and ignore the other poster(s) completely.

 

IMO, all perspectives are valid and there are gems of wisdom to be found within the rants of the most cynical and bitter amongst us. We each choose how we perceive the information, opinion and perspective in front of us. There's always a choice.

[Mrlonelyone]

I'm sorry what's the point of this thread? Are we proposing a solution to this problem other than putting people we don't like on ignore, or are we just making observations?

 

My solution of course is to get these guys laid, and not by a professional either.

 

It's called sex therapy. There are actual legit clinical sex therapist who in some cases actually have a encounter with their patient. Supposedly it works well.

 

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/sex-therapists

 

They also teach how to get close to and be intimate too.

[nova_guy123]

I will admit I don't look at that many other sections. I did briefly examine the current events section and there was the usual liberal vs conservative bickering but always on the actual topic at hand. Here though I see some derailed threads mostly from young men.

 

I understand that there may be some men and women who have been burned and feel bitter about love. But these are young men who haven't even been really out there yet why the intense feelings so soon out of the gate?

[SilverLining]

SomeDude81. That's a very forthright explanation. As a non-nerdy girl who is friendly and willing to befriend 'geeks', with a whole bevy of attractive friends, I'd like to chime in: Geeks are hot.

 

Seriously. After awhile women realize that the guys who were so awesome when we were younger are mostly immature jerks, and we start noticing the sweet guy who is loving and kind more. We start looking for more substance and less flash - same thing that guys tend to do as they mature. And I'm not talking about men who constantly go for the younger women - they aren't mature yet.

 

The problem comes in when we start noticing these sweet guys and think, "If I date so and so, he will be kind to me. He will treat me well and won't hurt me. He will be dependable and won't take me for granted." But by this time, SOME men have determined that they need to blame WOMEN for what made them unattractive prior to this - low self-esteem, body issues, social ineptness, behavior disorders, acne, shyness, or maybe the guy only wanted girls who were out of his league, etc. It's not WOMEN'S FAULT that some men weren't attractive to them, just as it is not men's fault that some women haven't had any experience either.

 

As we mature, what makes a man hot is his personality. His intelligence, sense of humor, kindness, whathaveyou, every woman is different. Guys with a chip on their shoulder are NEVER attractive. Men who seek to blame women for everything, who are cynical and angry at the world, are unattractive and weird. No girl wants that, and you are sabotaging yourself if you think otherwise. In my circle of friends it's clear - if a guy has confidence, personality, some level of attractiveness, even the models will choose him over the studly guys with great abs. I have a couple friends who are seriously, seriously unattractive but branched out, opened themselves up to others, tried new things and attempted to improve themselves. Every one of them are married and happy. The ones who blame women are still alone.

[Woggle]

Many of these guys are just venting and are harmless. Much of the time the internet is the only outlet a man has to voice his frustrations on dating and relationships.

[oaks]

I joined this forum a while ago after lurking on it a bit. I went away for a little over a year while overseas, and I come back and this forum seems to be filled with extremely angry young men, most of them seems to be sexually inexperienced.

 

Yup. Lots of bitterness in this forum at times, although they aren't all young or inexperienced.

[Mrlonelyone]

Seriously. After awhile women realize that the guys who were so awesome when we were younger are mostly immature jerks, and we start noticing the sweet guy who is loving and kind more. We start looking for more substance and less flash - same thing that guys tend to do as they mature. And I'm not talking about men who constantly go for the younger women - they aren't mature yet.

 

I agree with and have said this for a while. Most of the so called bitter men here are young. They desire women their age. At a young age men and women are both more likely to be emotionally immature. These so called bitter men simply lack the qualities that an emotionally immature mind would find attractive. An emotionally immature mind picks mates based on basic instincts that are older than the clade we are in.

 

Saying that women who choose bastards, rakes, and players are emotionally immature resulted in me being attacked here. It's like if a post even criticizes a subset of women then it means the poster must "hate" all women.

[aj22one]

Actually only 4 posts other than this thread. So well over half an early post count complaining about the complaining of a tiny percentage of members, threads and posts on a site.

 

Irony.

 

Tell me nova guy, how many of these alarming posts have you noticed in all the many other areas of this site besides the dating forum?

 

What's ironic is that we're rewarding the supposedly bane of LS's existence with a thread specifically dedicated to them.

[aj22one]

A suggestion: If any poster 'derails' a discussion by going off-topic and turning it into a cynical, bitter vent, report them and let the moderators deal with them. Off-topic postings are violations of the TOU and I've been moderated plenty of times for them.

 

Something tells me that wouldn't go over too well.

[dasein]

Here though I see some derailed threads mostly from young men.

 

If you look a little deeper, you will find that neither gender derails more threads than the other here. Women complain and derail in different ways than men tend to, but they do just as much complaining and derailing here, in certain threads that tend to resurface occasionally, much much more. It's a dating forum, and is going to be more freewheeling.

 

The description of the dating subforum reads, "Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!"

[ptp]

I think the explanation is fairly simple.

 

Girls usually go to their friends with their relationship problems while guys who are frustrated with their lack of relationships don't usually go to their friends.

 

Thus, in the internet and its anonymity provide a safe outlet for that frustration.

 

For the most I see it as a good thing, the exception being those who unfairly attack other posters (usually female posters).

[ChessPieceFace]

I am cynical because I am wise. I am bitter (about women) because women have base, animal standards when choosing men. I am sexually inexperienced also because women are that way, and because I have high standards.

 

I can't speak for most guys, I'm not like most guys. I want sex to mean something. As such, I laugh at most guys' attitudes about virginity. "Oh MAN, what's wrong with you, just go GET some." Thanks, ape. I have a little bit higher standards than that.

 

I may be low on the rating scale of guys girls would want, but I could still get "a girl." But for me, an enlightened human, just "a girl" doesn't quite fill all of my qualifications.

[allina]

The dating section has been taken over by a handful of these men.

 

Before LS I never realized the anger and rage that exists among the men that cannot get women. It actually freaks me out to see that rejection has driven these men to such hate

[krz12]

It's troubling, yeah. But as one of those types, the failure is (mostly) mine, or God's, or whomevers, but certainly not the collective females of the world.

[joystickd]

If they would use that energy for something positive they just may get laid

[OnyxSnowfall]

I am cynical because I am wise. I am bitter (about women) because women have base, animal standards when choosing men. I am sexually inexperienced also because women are that way, and because I have high standards.

 

I can't speak for most guys, I'm not like most guys. I want sex to mean something. As such, I laugh at most guys' attitudes about virginity. "Oh MAN, what's wrong with you, just go GET some." Thanks, ape. I have a little bit higher standards than that.

 

I may be low on the rating scale of guys girls would want, but I could still get "a girl." But for me, an enlightened human, just "a girl" doesn't quite fill all of my qualifications.

 

 

My goodness...

[allina]

If they would use that energy for something positive they just may get laid

 

Very true.

[Cracker Jack]

Alright, I have a question: can someone post a potential cure to this? And by that, I mean step-by-step treatments to this issue? Srs post.

[joystickd]

I am cynical because I am wise. I am bitter (about women) because women have base, animal standards when choosing men. I am sexually inexperienced also because women are that way, and because I have high standards.

 

I can't speak for most guys, I'm not like most guys. I want sex to mean something. As such, I laugh at most guys' attitudes about virginity. "Oh MAN, what's wrong with you, just go GET some." Thanks, ape. I have a little bit higher standards than that.

 

I may be low on the rating scale of guys girls would want, but I could still get "a girl." But for me, an enlightened human, just "a girl" doesn't quite fill all of my qualifications.

OMG I am saying this because I was like this years ago. When the first women comes along and offers you will take it whether she meets your standards or not. I said that standards thing because I wasn't getting laid it was a way to give an excuse.

[joystickd]

Alright, I have a question: can someone post a potential cure to this? And by that, I mean step-by-step treatments to this issue? Srs post.

1. You have to realize just because a small subset of women did you wrong does not mean all are the same.

2. Cut off the porn and get your hand off your dick

3. Upgrade your wardrobe. Star Wars tees or Anime tees make you look like a kid.

4. Go out. You can do it by yourself even

5. You see a female you want to talk to go up and say hello introduce yourself. You can even shake her hand.

6. Have a conversation and see how see responds.

 

Its that simple. Maybe you can get like me and just approach one and say hey you single. If she says yes then here's my number call me. That takes a long time and confidence to get to that point

[Mrlonelyone]

Alright, I have a question: can someone post a potential cure to this? And by that, I mean step-by-step treatments to this issue? Srs post.

 

It's called sex therapy. I have posted about it before.

 

While I suspect Dr. Tiger Howard Devore would be a more effective therapist for women, I'm sure he would know a good one to send men too.

 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29881206/ns/health-sexual_health/t/sex-surrogates-put-personal-touch-therapy/

 

That's the cure.

[AD1980]

Its just venting,as someone said women have a support group to vent to men do not so sometimes we take it to extremes..

 

I sometimes say things out of sadness and loneliness about women but most women who know me know im a sweetheart whos just tired of being unattractive to all women..

 

I apologize if ive ever offended anyone but being lonely and unwanted makes people very angry at times..no womens should take it that personal..