the troubling number of cynical, bitter, sexually inexperienced men on this forum

[Metis]

Well see that's just it, I have no idea where to look for women who might not have their pick of men and I don't know what else to do to make myself more attractive other than to have more confidence. I mean I already have a college education, I'm already a pretty interesting person, and I'm in pretty good shape.

 

Then maybe you should consider the possibility that your self-assessment is wrong.

 

You are a "pretty interesting person" in what way?

 

Yeah well in that thread I was talking about several women in their 20s said that too, that they would be worried about a guy with no relationship history as it would suggest that maybe perhaps they can't really sustain one. And if the general cutoff date is 30 or so, well then I've got only 7 years to shape up.

 

Or maybe you should not talk about yourself so much.

 

And no, I don't give my dating resumes out while asking a girl to coffee. But, I do have a fear of getting a few dates with a girl and she somehow puts two and two together and realizes I don't have much history and then bolts. I'd strongly prefer that not to happen.[/QUOTe]

 

Well, wouldn't we all prefer to date without any risk whatsoever, but that's just not how dating works.

 

So what does that mean for me? Like, am I completely screwed? Or should I lie about my past (you know make up a bunch of stories about flings and nonexistent girlfriends)?

 

And the second part, well that becomes more and more obvious everyday.

 

No, you should leave your past the hell alone. Why is that so hard to understand?

[oaks]

So what does that mean for me? Like, am I completely screwed? Or should I lie about my past (you know make up a bunch of stories about flings and nonexistent girlfriends)?

 

I realised after I wrote it, and after I read Metis' post, that I was probably talking more about relationships than dating (because relationship or sexual history, or lack thereof, probably isn't discussed before dating). So, that shouldn't really hinder you in terms of getting dates unless you're walking around wearing a t-shirt that says "I'm a virgin and I've never had a girlfriend".

 

Are you completely screwed? No, but some people are going to be cautious through to downright put off by your lack of relationship history/experience. Not everybody will find it that important, and some women will have a broadly similar level of experience to you.

 

And the second part, well that becomes more and more obvious everyday.

 

Well, getting success in other areas of life isn't easy (is it for you?) so why would this bit be easy? When women say they want it to be easy they get told (at least in this forum) that they shouldn't feel entitled to anything. Is this really what's holding you back? How easy do you want it to be? How much effort are you willing to put in?

[Duckduckgoose]

As someone who is dating one of the "inexperienced" guys I'd like to chime in on this.

 

It is difficult. Even though he is a considerate guy, sweet, etc. Its is NOT easy at all for someone with a marriage and several experienced men under my belt (tongue in cheek there).

 

There are just things they DON'T know that a man with experience would know. And men are not likely to ask other men for advice, even though I wish they would. So they are left with either bottling up their frustration or taking it out on LS.

 

I read a lot of the "bitter, inexperienced" posts and I have found that while I would take on the challenge of dating an inexperienced shy guy one thing I WON'T deal with is their attitude about it. If the man I was dating showed me that nastiness for just a few seconds I would run like my ass was on fire.

 

Its hard to justify blaming women for your lack of experience. Truth be told, the problem lies on both ends. Your poor attitude towards the whole situation turns women off, and you just haven't found the woman that's willing to give you that chance and show you everything.

 

Even having a good attitude when you're making no progress is hard, and I understand that guys. Just think how a woman stretching her patience past the breaking point to teach an inexperienced guy feels. Its very frustrating, the results only show a little at a time, and you're not getting much in return. Its like making a very shaky investment that could payoff HUGE. Now you know why most women would rather date the "jerk". At least he knows what he's doing and doesn't have to be spoon-fed. He just needs to be kicked in the ass a few times and dumped lol.

 

So yes, there are a lot of nice guys out there getting the short-end of the dating stick. I agree 100%. However it's not like they come neatly packaged in a box ready to be unwrapped. They are more like a rock that you have to cut and polish to find the gemstones inside. The jerk is more like the turd in a pretty box. Many women find the pretty box easier to deal with.

[fortyninethousand322]

Then maybe you should consider the possibility that your self-assessment is wrong.

 

You are a "pretty interesting person" in what way?

 

I have a diverse set of interests: sports, history, current events, economics, movies, music, etc. I'd say I can entertain people well enough.

 

 

Well, wouldn't we all prefer to date without any risk whatsoever, but that's just not how dating works.

 

I'd like to minimize the risks, not necessarily get rid of them.

 

So a person wholly unconnected to you who is being abused is not worthy of empathy because, what, you have dating problems? "I refuse to feel sorry for you because other women won't validate my worth by going out with me."

 

Do you judge a man's value by whether he can get a date? Apparently you do, since you seem to believe that the poster's abuser is "worth more" than you are. This is a warped perspective, and I hope you can find a way to change it.

 

Honestly, that post you wrote is deeply disturbing.

 

Yes. A person who can get another human being to love and/or care about them is worth more than someone who cannot. At least that's how I see it. So yes, a cheater/abuser/whatever > me.

 

Why would it be disturbing? Look maybe I just need to learn my place. And my place is not with women. It's bad for them, and selfish of me to even think I could date a girl.

[oaks]

So yes, there are a lot of nice guys out there getting the short-end of the dating stick. I agree 100%. However it's not like they come neatly packaged in a box ready to be unwrapped. They are more like a rock that you have to cut and polish to find the gemstones inside. The jerk is more like the turd in a pretty box. Many women find the pretty box easier to deal with.

 

 

This is brilliant.

[fortyninethousand322]

Are you completely screwed? No, but some people are going to be cautious through to downright put off by your lack of relationship history/experience. Not everybody will find it that important, and some women will have a broadly similar level of experience to you.

 

 

Why though? I mean it seems downright petty and spiteful to feel that way. I wouldn't judge a girl by how many boyfriends she's had or hasn't had. So why is it fair to judge me by mine?

 

 

Well, getting success in other areas of life isn't easy (is it for you?) so why would this bit be easy? When women say they want it to be easy they get told (at least in this forum) that they shouldn't feel entitled to anything. Is this really what's holding you back? How easy do you want it to be? How much effort are you willing to put in?

 

I'd like the whole process to be somewhat more difficult than a nice jog through the neighborhood, but less difficult than climbing Mt. Everest without oxygen.

[grkBoy]

Bitter confused guys end up in these forums because they have nowhere else to go.

 

Female friends tell them they're wonderful men and they'll find someone one day...bear in mind NONE of those female friends are single. You never see the single female friend tell any guy that, because then she knows she's being put in the spot of "why don't you date him?"

 

Guys will just be cold and mean. "Suck it up". "Be a man". "You're a boy in a man's world." Blah Blah Blah. Guys don't want to talk to others about problems, just toss up a tough guy front and scapegoat around deeper discussions.

 

I can't blame a lot of these guys for their views...because I used to be one of them. I was the guy who thought being a good man in a cruel world would find me a nice pretty girl whom I can spend my life with. After years of watching women chase horrible men and reject me, I got frustrated and bitter.

 

I had to learn about the real world, and it's why I try to help these guys learn what I learned. That being a jerk won't get you a girl...but being the man these women want will get you the girl. That and seeing how to free your life of the pressures too many guys put on themselves to get a girl. To learn to fulfill yourself in life and make yourself happy in life...and treat a girl as a bonus to that life.

 

I love my fiance, but she could leave me tomorrow for some stupid reason and I'd be better in a month. Even if I never met anyone else, I'd still more look to how I can be happy with myself in life rather than look to a woman to make me happy in life. That's what being balanced, secure, and confident means.

[jobaba]

There's bitter men on every relationship internet forum. I've been on a lot of them. The fact that this one has a large number of regular ones right now is probably a cyclical thing.

 

Anytime you try at something with what you perceive to be your best shot, and fail, there's going to be some bitterness. If you've ever been laid off or fired from a job where you gave it your best, you know what I mean.

 

But you know what, you get a new job, and you forget about that old job.

 

Eventually, most of the bitter guys here (especially the guys in your young 20s) will find a woman who appreciates them for who they are. When that happens, the bitterness will subside and they'll stop posting here.

 

For now, it's easy to post extremely general remarks regarding women as superficial, petty, and uncaring because it's anonymous. If you met any of these guys in real life, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be able to tell they were bitter men, especially right off the bat.

 

There are women out there who are non-shallow and appreciate you for who you are. I know, because I've had girlfriends before. So, just keep at it.

[jobaba]

Bitter confused guys end up in these forums because they have nowhere else to go.

 

Female friends tell them they're wonderful men and they'll find someone one day...bear in mind NONE of those female friends are single. You never see the single female friend tell any guy that, because then she knows she's being put in the spot of "why don't you date him?"

 

Guys will just be cold and mean. "Suck it up". "Be a man". "You're a boy in a man's world." Blah Blah Blah. Guys don't want to talk to others about problems, just toss up a tough guy front and scapegoat around deeper discussions.

 

I can't blame a lot of these guys for their views...because I used to be one of them. I was the guy who thought being a good man in a cruel world would find me a nice pretty girl whom I can spend my life with. After years of watching women chase horrible men and reject me, I got frustrated and bitter.

 

I had to learn about the real world, and it's why I try to help these guys learn what I learned. That being a jerk won't get you a girl...but being the man these women want will get you the girl. That and seeing how to free your life of the pressures too many guys put on themselves to get a girl. To learn to fulfill yourself in life and make yourself happy in life...and treat a girl as a bonus to that life.

 

I love my fiance, but she could leave me tomorrow for some stupid reason and I'd be better in a month. Even if I never met anyone else, I'd still more look to how I can be happy with myself in life rather than look to a woman to make me happy in life. That's what being balanced, secure, and confident means.

 

Real good stuff.

[ChessPieceFace]

If the man I was dating showed me that nastiness for just a few seconds I would run like my ass was on fire.

 

The nastiness, condescension, entitlement and misandry in your post would make me run from anyone like you as well.

[Duckduckgoose]

The nastiness, condescension, entitlement and misandry in your post would make me run from anyone like you as well.

 

Well then we should probably not date

 

I'm obviously a man hater

[oaks]

Why though? I mean it seems downright petty and spiteful to feel that way. I wouldn't judge a girl by how many boyfriends she's had or hasn't had. So why is it fair to judge me by mine?

 

I don't know why, but I imagine it's because they associate some previous bad experiences with those partners lacking in experience and they imagine that someone with more relationship (or sexual) experience might've learned what to do right while avoiding doing the wrong things. Of course it doesn't always work like that! (and I might be wrong anyway)

 

I do know that the world isn't fair, and I don't think there's any special reason why it has to be. I don't think it's spiteful, though.

 

I'd like the whole process to be somewhat more difficult than a nice jog through the neighborhood, but less difficult than climbing Mt. Everest without oxygen.

 

Okay. At least you're not expecting someone to just ring your doorbell and declare that she's your girlfriend.

[johan]

Sorry to quash your hopes of justifying your own poor choices & poor morality, but no. Some people actually HAVE standards and morality. I am one of them. You aren't, or at least you didn't ever have the standards you thought you did. Believing you have standards of behavior and actually HAVING them are 2 different things.

 

- Did you even feel guilty about the guy's wife you banged?

- Do you feel morally bad, indifferent, or good about your first time being with a woman cheating on her husband?

 

See I care more about those things than about having a hole to put my penis in. That makes me better than you. You don't agree, doesn't make you right.

 

You seem to have a gigantic chip on your shoulder about all this. The phrase "high standards" is a bit of a mantra to you. Which is fine. But it does sound like an excuse. And you attack anyone who suggests otherwise so you can continue to live behind the little "high standards" fort you've built for yourself.

 

If this is a tactic you use in real life, then it's really not a surprise that you're stuck and getting more frustrated all the time.

[fortyninethousand322]

Okay. At least you're not expecting someone to just ring your doorbell and declare that she's your girlfriend.

 

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind if that happened. I just don't expect it to.

[oaks]

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind if that happened. I just don't expect it to.

 

 

 

Yeah, we'd all like that.

 

I think what I meant by asking how much effort you're willing to put in is this: If you're actively trying to find someone to date and it isn't working then you need to change something - perhaps even moving outside your comfort zone in some way. If you're not being very active and just hoping that something will happen then you probably shouldn't complain when nothing happens, so I hope you're not in that group.

[joystickd]

I see these post and I think back to my struggles. I remember being 13 and liking a girl and she literally told me I was ugly. For years after that no girl would acknowledge because of this one girl I liked. When I got older I found out some liked me but were afraid to because of this girl. I went to college and that was harsh. HBCU for a nerdy black guy can be a horrible place. I remember my best friend was banging them left and right. I on the other hand got shot down regularly. I started selling drugs to hopefully shed that image and that did not work. I also spent a semester in college in fear for my life. I eventually drank alcohol everyday. I had a routine like class then get drunk. I would attempt to talk to women and when I got rejected I would break out into a rage filled tirade of calling them b*tches. I eventually stopped because I was at a concert one night and remember trying to talk to a woman and she rejected me but her friend pushed. I was so drunk that I thought this woman looked like that girl from when I was younger. I was enraged and had to get taken out because I was trying to hit her and threatened to kill her. There was a point where I would black out when drinking and have those moments. I stopped drinking alcohol before graduating college. I came home and worked a job. i quit thinking about dating. I met a woman at work and we went out on a date. I got criticized about my choice in woman from a coworker. This coworker and I became friends and despite the fact she was married we got close. I looked back and we were just two unhappy people that connected on a platonic level and it got sexual. I know it was frustrating to her because I was a newbie to interacting with women. It was also frustrating to me because over time I saw she was a manipulative person. That experience combined with everything that happened before made me bitter. I made these guys here look like optimists. I got another job and met another woman. We became a couple but my issues ruined that. I got laid off at the same time this was happening so bitterness was through the roof. It all changed when I went back to school to study nursing. I will say spending hours in a classroom full of women will change your perspective. Most of them now are good friends. I was interested in one and I will admit she was hot but too desperate. It was borderline creepy. I remember my argument before that class was "you have a vagina so the whole dating experience is excellent for you". That time showed me that women want a man. Someone that is comfortable with himself, confident, in control and able to be take charge. A man that is bitter and angry about what happened or about his situation is unattractive because he is essentially not in control of himself so how can a woman see you as a potential sex partner or a potential LTR because when things happen the man needs to take charge and be in control and that wont happen if you break out into an emotional tirade.

 

The main reason these guys get a hard time I see is because the only thing that will help them get confidence is experience. A man has an uphill battle when he is late to the dating world and being bitter and cynical only makes it harder for you. The only thing you can do to handle it is to dive into the challenge head first.

[fortyninethousand322]

 

Yeah, we'd all like that.

 

I think what I meant by asking how much effort you're willing to put in is this: If you're actively trying to find someone to date and it isn't working then you need to change something - perhaps even moving outside your comfort zone in some way. If you're not being very active and just hoping that something will happen then you probably shouldn't complain when nothing happens, so I hope you're not in that group.

 

Uh, well I probably fall somewhere in between those I guess. I mean I don't go out every night on the prowl or anything. But I don't sit at home every night either. Like, I have periods in which I try to put some effort into meeting women (talking to them, etc.) but then I have periods where I just assume no girl is interested and don't try, like I don't think the effort is worth having absolutely no payoff in the end.

[Eddie Edirol]

From what I noticed, the inexperienced guys on this board are bitter and frustrated because they believe they are completely ignorant as to what they should be doing and saying to attract the women they want. They dont believe that they need to change things to attract women. people on this board are amazingly patient trying to tell them what needs to be changed, but these bitter guys dont want to even TRY the advise. So screw them. They will be bitter for life, let them learn when they are 40 that they have to change something.

 

Of course Im not including the dateless guys with asbergers or autism or other brain miswiring...they cant be helped.

 

The reason it looks like theres so many of them, its because they guys that are getting dates are busy getting laid, and they dont need to post.

[somedude81]

You didn't read my posts at all, right?

 

I'm not sure what these guys want then, if they don't want suggestions to improve their situation. These are ideas that I have applied to my own life, more or less. I can empathize with their situation, because I have been in situation where I felt these irrational fears and I didn't do anything about them for years. I'm not sure what the guys want here. A shoulder to cry on? Convince women that it's bad to have no feelings of attraction for them? I like sympathy and compassion, but in the end, it's probably preferable and much better for myself if someone tells me what I need to do in order to get out of the misery. Honestly, I give advice to be helpful, but if you don't want to follow it, in the end, it's your choice. You could try going to the gym and see what happesn or you go to this forum and inform women that they should approach you first, whatever strikes you as the option with the higher possibility for success.

I know you're trying plum, but do you really think you're the first person to tell me to hit the gym and get a good job? Do you think I'm not already working on that?

 

There is much more to that in getting a woman to date me.

 

Also all the ask out 100 women and keep trying till one says yes, posts people make aren't helpful either. I'm not a robot who can keep going from woman to woman without getting depressed. And I'm not a dog that wants to have sex with everything I see either.

As someone who is dating one of the "inexperienced" guys I'd like to chime in on this.

 

It is difficult. Even though he is a considerate guy, sweet, etc. Its is NOT easy at all for someone with a marriage and several experienced men under my belt (tongue in cheek there).

 

There are just things they DON'T know that a man with experience would know. And men are not likely to ask other men for advice, even though I wish they would. So they are left with either bottling up their frustration or taking it out on LS.

 

I read a lot of the "bitter, inexperienced" posts and I have found that while I would take on the challenge of dating an inexperienced shy guy one thing I WON'T deal with is their attitude about it. If the man I was dating showed me that nastiness for just a few seconds I would run like my ass was on fire.

 

Its hard to justify blaming women for your lack of experience. Truth be told, the problem lies on both ends. Your poor attitude towards the whole situation turns women off, and you just haven't found the woman that's willing to give you that chance and show you everything.

I think that up to a certain point the man can not be blamed for his troubles.

 

From when I first starting liking girls till the time I graduated high school, I didn't have a poor attitude about women at all. I was just a normal kid but women didn't respond to me.

 

In essence I was innocent. For all I know, the only reason I never got a girlfriend was because I wasn't lucky.

 

Even now I don't show a bad attitude to anybody. The only place where I vent my frustrations is here. Nobody in the real world, except for my parents knows that I'm very unhappy.

Even having a good attitude when you're making no progress is hard, and I understand that guys. Just think how a woman stretching her patience past the breaking point to teach an inexperienced guy feels. Its very frustrating, the results only show a little at a time, and you're not getting much in return. Its like making a very shaky investment that could payoff HUGE. Now you know why most women would rather date the "jerk". At least he knows what he's doing and doesn't have to be spoon-fed. He just needs to be kicked in the ass a few times and dumped lol.

 

So yes, there are a lot of nice guys out there getting the short-end of the dating stick. I agree 100%. However it's not like they come neatly packaged in a box ready to be unwrapped. They are more like a rock that you have to cut and polish to find the gemstones inside. The jerk is more like the turd in a pretty box. Many women find the pretty box easier to deal with.

At least you try. I'm sure you're guy is very grateful.

[Duckduckgoose]

From what I noticed, the inexperienced guys on this board are bitter and frustrated because they believe they are completely ignorant as to what they should be doing and saying to attract the women they want. They dont believe that they need to change things to attract women. people on this board are amazingly patient trying to tell them what needs to be changed, but these bitter guys dont want to even TRY the advise. So screw them. They will be bitter for life, let them learn when they are 40 that they have to change something.

 

Dating a woman with experience will help this, but only if you are willing to listen and consider what she says. Some things may be off base, but most will be spot on.

 

Basic things likes letting her know you're thinking of her, like cute text, maybe flowers (sometimes not all the time lol), being considerate, listening (or at least pretending to).

 

And when it gets into the realm of physical intimacy its a whole new can. I've not found a way to dive headfirst without Jack Daniels helping me out... a problem when the person you're with is not a drinker and you don't want to disrespect him by spiking his drink.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I'm afraid some of these guys are hopeless, unless they have a consciousness changing epiphany. I do believe this happens, though, so maybe a couple of them will be blessed with one.

 

For those not absolutely committed to blaming others, I think it would help people if, before gender generalizations were leapt to, we could talk about people in general.

 

Bottom line: Nobody who wants to continue to "blame" the other gender, society at large, "feminism," President Obama, their ex, God, their mom and/or dad, a girl who they bought a drink for, a guy who they had sex with and who didn't call back, popular kids in high school or anything at all for their feelings of isolation from the opposite gender has a good chance of moving forward to a different place.

 

Coming here to "vent" with blame is negative and even though reading it makes me angry, what it really does mostly is to further entrench the blamer in their very stuck place. Also, negative blamers full of self pity with giant chips on their shoulders are never attractive men or women, don't you agree? Even if they're handsome or beautiful.

 

I've been thinking about a few of the issues that regularly crop up here. Some of the really big "problems" could be sidestepped if people could look at one another from a different perspective.

 

If a person is willing to put aside the blame, and to look at whatever man or woman who is standing before them as a fellow human being - one who has problems, who is good at some things, who is probably neither a saint nor a demon from hell, and who might or might not find them attractive (and vice versa!) … things could get better.

 

There needs to be a place to start without all of the negative baggage. If a person has toxic baggage, they need to take care of that before they can expect to have generally positive dealings with others.

 

If YOU are not what someone is looking for - be assured that THEY are not what someone else is looking for, and they have experienced this. The person you are talking to does not really have tremendous power over you just because of their gender and the societal privileges associated with that gender. And BOTH genders have these.

 

Yes, there are real gold diggers and serious players whose intent is just to use people. They cause a lot of harm, but most of us are not those people.

 

And to the men who feel like women have all the power - I am not going to argue with you, but this is the TRUTH: Most women have experienced the exact same feeling when dealing with men. And society has staunchly backed that up until very recent history, in Western culture anyway.

 

And, morphing gender roles are confusing and maybe even paralyzing for plenty of women as well as men.

[aj22one]

I'll be a little more serious this time around, after my little tongue in cheek post yesterday about getting these guys laid.

 

Honestly, dating these days has become extremely complicated, for both men and women. Truth be told though, it is far easier for men to get "lost in the shuffle" so to speak, due to the social expectations placed on men and women. I know men who concluded early on that women weren't interested in them but figured if they put their nose to the grindstone, got good grades, good jobs, took care of their bodies, they'd be in high demand later on. Figuring the learning curve wouldn't be that steep. All of those men are still single and struggling. Sometimes you just have to grab the bull by its horns.

 

Women in general do expect a man to be more sexually and/or relationship experienced by a certain age (~25). Why is this? Well a variety of reasons. One is due to the fact that lots of women like men who can take charge and are confident. Also, women (just like men) want to know that their SO is a catch. Like "wow, he could have all these women but he chose me" not "he couldn't get anyone better so he settled for me". Additionally, women are generally worriers. If you tell her you've never had sex or a girlfriend she's likely to think you could be a serial killer, a repressed homosexual or asexual, socially awkward, no fun, or a host of other things. And, many of them worry that a man who hasn't "sowed his wild oats" is likely to go out and do that once he's done with her. Most of this stuff is totally wrong of course but, how would a woman with a normal dating history know that? She can only know what she's experienced.

 

Hope that clears things up a bit for you incel guys.

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

Also all the ask out 100 women and keep trying till one says yes, posts people make aren't helpful either. I'm not a robot who can keep going from woman to woman without getting depressed. And I'm not a dog that wants to have sex with everything I see either.

 

 

You need to put aside your preoccupation with sex. I understand where you would be coming from with that - I really do - but no matter how old you are right now, you need to get more comfortable with DATING before you can really expect to find the connection that will lead you to sex.

 

Unless you want to follow the advice given to hire a pro or a sex therapist, which are viable options.

 

Obviously you are not one of the socially "smooth" people. That's not an insult. But if you are not willing to work through some of your social hurdles, arriving at the "HAVE SEX NOW" place is going to be more and more elusive.

 

For the record, guys - I was talking about this whole syndrome last night with my husband. It was not that long ago that it was perfectly acceptable to not have an active sex life if you weren't married. There are still MANY people who are not having an active sex life, but who will be someday. The media is not showing this, and seeing hundreds of "hookups" in front of your face every weekend is not supporting this, but it's a fact. You are not the world's biggest loser if you aren't having an active sex life, or if you are a 30 something year old virgin. But if you keep feeling like you are being gypped out of an entitlement of some kind - you are way off track.

[aj22one]

For the record, guys - I was talking about this whole syndrome last night with my husband. It was not that long ago that it was perfectly acceptable to not have an active sex life if you weren't married. There are still MANY people who are not having an active sex life, but who will be someday. The media is not showing this, and seeing hundreds of "hookups" in front of your face every weekend is not supporting this, but it's a fact. You are not the world's biggest loser if you aren't having an active sex life, or if you are a 30 something year old virgin. But if you keep feeling like you are being gypped out of an entitlement of some kind - you are way off track.

 

I agreed with pretty much all of your posts in this thread except some of this part. I think of the young population (being in it myself) the vast majority of people are having sex. Probably not every night or even every week but more frequently than never. There have been a lot of studies done on the subject of sexual activity, and I've seen a low of 75% and a high of 97% in estimates of how many men have had sex by age 25. The numbers for women are almost identical. Probably a lot of this has to do with more and more people going off to college than before, which puts young people with raging hormones in close proximity to each other without parental supervision which inevitably leads to sex and sex-like activities.

 

Sure sex isn't an entitlement, totally agree with you there. But I think it's natural for people to look around and see everyone else doing things they haven't and get a little frustrated. Whether that excuses their bitterness largely depends on your perspective. The bitter men are ok with it while everyone else gets annoyed.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I agreed with pretty much all of your posts in this thread except some of this part. I think of the young population (being in it myself) the vast majority of people are having sex. Probably not every night or even every week but more frequently than never. There have been a lot of studies done on the subject of sexual activity, and I've seen a low of 75% and a high of 97% in estimates of how many men have had sex by age 25. The numbers for women are almost identical. Probably a lot of this has to do with more and more people going off to college than before, which puts young people with raging hormones in close proximity to each other without parental supervision which inevitably leads to sex and sex-like activities.

 

Sure sex isn't an entitlement, totally agree with you there. But I think it's natural for people to look around and see everyone else doing things they haven't and get a little frustrated. Whether that excuses their bitterness largely depends on your perspective. The bitter men are ok with it while everyone else gets annoyed.

 

I don't disagree with you. The point I wanted to make is that there are, still, more than a few people who are NOT having an active sex life. It just does't look like it.

 

Also, I realize that being a male virgin over 25 years old would not feel very good in this society, unless you were so by choice. I am not minimizing it.

 

But if it's the case - a person STILL owes it to themselves to try to live well, be good to themselves and others, and work on changes they'd like to see in themselves before projecting it all onto the outside world and other people.