why would someone do this?

[ambition77]

Hi all.

Very long story short, I had sex with my friend's girlfriend.

 

I know its a ****ty thing to do to someone and it wasn't me who was pushing things in that direction but i guess that doesn't matter, I still took part.

 

She was feeling guilty because there were feelings involved and felt she had to come clean to him to release the guilt, but she only told another lie by saying to him that we only kissed a few days before when she was really at my house all night weeks before.

 

The sex could have happened again and again over those weeks, but it happened once only. I'm wondering why she would lie to him rather than tell the truth, and if I should tell him myself, or just continue affirming the lie as if that's all that ever happened.

 

I'm wondering, seeing as the truth will eventually come out, should I just come clean now even though he no longer talks to me? Is there any benefit to anyone involved by me doing this?

 

Thanks.

[Desensitized]

Fact is, you let your di*k take over your head in this case. I would come clean, even though he may be a good friend, or just an ordinary friend. How would you feel if that happened to you? Both the girl you slept with and your friend may not want to be your friend/speak to you ever again, but I suggest you take this route. Just learn from your mistakes, and be prepared for the outcome.

 

Good luck

[cdm369]

Tell the truth....let everyone make their decision based on truth.

[Eddie Edirol]

She probably lied to him so she could stay with him. Maybe she didnt want to date you, she just wanted sex. So your decision is this, do you want him to break up with her and be hurt for a while, or do you want to let him stay somewhat happy like he is now? Heres another scenario. If hes too wrapped up in her to break up with her, and she isnt fully emotionally invested in him, you wanna see him be walked all over by her?

[carhill]

I'm wondering why she would lie to him rather than tell the truth, and if I should tell him myself, or just continue affirming the lie as if that's all that ever happened.

Unless you're a tight and long-term friend of his, he's going to likely believe whatever his GF tells him rather than what you tell him. Exception: If you can describe a unique part of her anatomy that only someone who's been intimate with her would know, he *might* believe you over her, presuming she continues to lie.

 

Regardless, that heavy, greasy object resting on top of you will be the bus.

 

I hope this was a good life lesson. Accept it and move forward. Welcome to LS

[Bryanp]

You have shown that you are not a good friend by your actions. You are only compounding it by not telling you friend the truth. If you have any respect for him at all you will tell him truth. This girl is playing him for a fool. If he finds out later he will hate you even more. You owe it to him to tell him the truth. If the roles were reversed wouldn't you want to know the truth? Let him be able to make all of his decisions based on fact and not on faction. Do the right thing and tell him the truth. If he does not believe you then it is his problem and not yours.

[ambition77]

OK so thanks to yall i told him.

 

I got a black eye for my effort but I deserve that i guess.

 

Here's the funny part. He never wants to talk to me again, but he's giving her a second chance. What a moron.

 

I guess he just didn't believe me that she was the one chasing me down and pushing things along that path.

 

Anyways I'm happy to have it over with and it's his problem now. I wonder how long its going to take for her to blow her second chance.

 

She's still sneaking in calls to me as well. Even though she's pretending to be pissed at me.

 

I'm done with both of them but thanks for the help all.

[nofool4u]

The sex could have happened again and again over those weeks, but it happened once only. I'm wondering why she would lie to him rather than tell the truth

 

because she's a chickensh***. that and she probably figures if she tells him it was just kissing he may not dump her sorry arse.

 

 

and if I should tell him myself, or just continue affirming the lie as if that's all that ever happened.

 

if you were a friend, you'd tell him the truth. but then again if you were a friend, you wouldn't have stabbed him in the back either.

 

if you have any interest in being his friend, you'd tell him and let him decide if he wants to continue to be your friend.

[VivienViolet]

Trickle truth. She's probably hoping that things will come out little by littlle. By the time he gets all the facts or pieces it together ford himself, enough time will have passed for it not to matter. It's pardon the language, chicken****. You should man up and tell the truth. You wouldn't want to be treated that way.

[Bryanp]

Hope you didn't get too badly hurt but you did the right thing. He is in denial and is a liar and cheat. You are right to be done with both of them. Good luck.

[ezza]

Oh dude I swear i had exactly the same situation as you, like exactly.

 

Only difference here is I work with the girls boyfriend (and her mum) and its an insane situation. Ive been following this thread and I've been trying to figure out ways to not just come out and tell the dude. Good on ya for telling him though, I think if you had to let it out then it's the right thing to do for them and yourself.