relationship troubles

[number713]

Member since:September 16, 2011Total points:80 (Level 1)Your Open Question

 

Show me another »

Relationship troubles?

 

Ok so me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. We are madly with each other, and love each other more and more every day. When we met we were both in highschool, after a year into our relationship he broke up with me because he was about to move out of the state and he wasn't sure if he wanted a long distance relationship. Yet we still talked to each other everyday. 6 months later we got back together. And he made a commitment to me that he wanted to be with me, and that he was willing to do long distance, we lost our virginity to each other, and things were amazing, we were and still are incredibly close. We talked about spending our whole lifes together. Well recently in the last couple months he left college to take a semester off because he is really depressed, homesick and he is having troubles finding out who he is . He is now living with his parents. Even though he has been really depressed it hasn't effected our relationship. All I want to do is help him. A couple days ago we were so happy because we were talking about how in 6 months our long distance relationship is going to end because I am going to be moving out closer to him, we have been talking about this excitment for a long time. But a day later he called me and randomly broke down and told me that this long distance relationship is to hard, and that he is breaking up with me. He says he wants to be with me but he can't because the long distance is to hard. Me and him are perfect for each other, we make each other so happy and we can entertain each other for hours. I am seriously breaking down right now, I want to help him. In just 6 months we are not going to have to deal with this.I don't want him to throw this away just because of this. Right now he is not answering my calls, but his dad is keeping me updated on things, his dad says that he is not ready to talk to me yet, and that I need to give him space, I am willing to wait and give him the space he needs. I read this article that I think might be true,

 

"Many times, one or both people in a relationship will lose themselves in some way or form and will begin to feel stress and resentment in the relationship, even though it may not be about their partner personally. In every relationship, couples will compromise their differences to keep things healthy and happy and in making these compromising and changes, you both have to let go of a part of yourselves in order to compromise your differences. Sometimes this happens so often, that one or both of you will feel like you have completely lost yourselves and will feel stressed and resentment towards each other, even though it has nothing to do with any of you in particular. Relationships can get so deep- and you both can connect as ' one ' so intensely that you neglect yourselves as individuals, and in order to re-discover yourselves, there will need to be some time apart from each other. Remember, you need to be whole as an individual first in order to be whole together as a couple, and time apart is best if one or both of you feel like you need to get back in touch with your individuality."

 

I thought the article might explain what he is going through right now. What do you guys think? Any advice on how to handle the situation. He means everything to me, I will never lose hope. Do you think it is best to give him space? (by the way this is only the 2nd time we have broken up in our whole relationship)

[creighton0123]

I say that it is best to give him space. You can't force your way back into his life and he is not yet capable of adult communication. I know it sucks, but you should be spending this time not worrying about him, but on making yourself better and stronger. I know you want to help him, but he has his parents for that. If and when the time comes, he'll reach out to you.

[janethall750]

Just as sleep allows your body to repair and renew itself, a close and peaceful sleep together can repair and renew your relationship. If your troubles aren’t too serious, then you may be able to find the relationship advice you need simply by surfing around this site.