Most Girls Are Afraid of Hot Guys

[mr_sexxxy]

I went to a singles party on friday and it was just horrible.

 

The most frustrating part of it was that the attractive girls there felt completely comfortable talking to the nerdiest guys, the fattest guys, the creepiest guys, but completely froze up when I spoke to them.

 

One girl refused to believe anything I said, insinuating I was a 24/7 party boy, as in "I bet you like to stay out late..." with a frown of disapproval.

 

Actually when she first saw me, she just stared at me with her mouth open and struggled to form a sentence, uttering something very slowly.

 

Meanwhile, she talked for hours on end with a guy who was cross-eyed and another guy who was grossly obese. She turned down invites from both, so basically she wasted the entire evening talking to guys she would never ever date.

 

Add to that, my having to endure the constant taunts from these loser guys who are out of shape, have no fashion sense and so on.

 

I was surprised she even gave me her number.

 

...Why do girls have such difficulty talking to physically attractive men?

[dreamingoftigers]

You may wish to review many of the threads on LS about how "women are not attracted to my type of body" etc.

 

I would say that from my experience that women overall tend to be more varietal in the body/personality type of man that they are interested in.

 

Men seem to have attractions to the female frame which are practically universal, with some variation.

 

Women, however seem to be attracted first to a guy that will be potentially responsive to them after the woman attempts to get his attention. (Don't think I explained that well)

 

Basically: women don't really want "sensitive" guys. They want guys that will be sensitive to how they feel.

 

Anytime a guy shows emotional awareness to a woman's insecurities, he immediately gets their attention. Some of these can be pretty damn obvious. (Oh, I am going to get so flamed for this)

 

If you approach a really overweight girl for instance, showing how attracted you are to her and admiring her beauty or sexuality would separate you from all of the nerds who hang out with her because she is a "nice girl" and they are "settling for what they can get." This woman wants to be sexy to a guy, perhaps even to the point of being objectified.

 

The average girl wants to be the attention-getter, the party girl wants to be seen as the "nice sweet girl with the tough exterior." A lot of "tough girls" want to be seen as feminine and want a guy that recognizes their strength but their interior vulnerability as well.

 

The Belle of the ball may be more insecure about being "taken seriously" or being realized as "smart" "strong" "nice" or "accomplished." She gets guys all the time telling her how hot she is, it is like getting served Cheerios for breakfast every single morning. Boring after a bit, even if one morning they are Honey Nut or Apple Cinnamon Cheerios. Eventually you just get sick of hearing it and it becomes a nuisance.

 

Some women just want to be noticed as creative or eccentric.

 

If you were to say to that girl at the party that, "staying out late and partying isn't my thing, I'd much rather just stay in with one great girl and cuddle," you'd have her. You wouldn't just be "party boy" then. You would be "holy crap, not what I expected" guy.

 

A lot of "hot guys" use their looks for cheap flings, and it is common knowledge that that is the case. The vast majority of women aren't looking for the "bad boy" or the "cheap fling" most of the time. Present a totally different side of yourself, and you are in business my friend.

 

And always, verbal presentation means 10X more then appearance to a girl. Most guys fail to notice this. A lot of guys confuse it with "confidence." It is verbal presentation that appeals to us.

[dasein]

Girls have no problem at all talking to attractive men IME, but they can smell arrogance a mile away and they are masters at putting those types in their place. Maybe she thought you were arrogant? She gave you her number so call her and ask her why she was talking to all the "ugly" guys. Come back here and tell us what she says.

[PlumPrincess]

I can't judge how hot you are without a picture.

[dreamingoftigers]

Girls have no problem at all talking to attractive men IME, but they can smell arrogance a mile away and they are masters at putting those types in their place. Maybe she thought you were arrogant? She gave you her number so call her and ask her why she was talking to all the "ugly" guys. Come back here and tell us what she says.

 

His screen name kind of leads one to believe that as well.

[RiverRunning]

Just because you think you're hot, and you may be stereotypically hot, doesn't mean that most of the women you find do. Women seem to be much more willing to compromise, or at the least they have more widely varied interest in mens' bodies, than men do in women. I have been interested in fat guys before. And a man who is 10 pounds or so overweight with a bit of a belly? Dead sexy, he's got my number in minutes.

 

You are going to be a threat to women. Because you are so good-looking, the perception is that they have no chance, that you're probably a cheater, that you're a party boy, etc. These are unfair assumptions but to be fair, you probably have a lot more interested women after you than the Average Joe. The Average Joe is a safer bet. That aside, studies show that couples are happiest when the woman is better-looking than her mate. And average-looking guys are less likely to have affairs. It sucks that the cookie crumbles that way, but there you have it.

 

Your problem is in auto-assuming that any woman would never want to talk to those guys. Sure, they probably won out initially because they were less threatening. But she still talked to them the entire night. Are we ever sure she was single? Maybe she was there just to chat and went for the more non-threatening options. I would. Probably have more to talk about anyway.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Sure, sometimes a girl is intimadated by an attractive "hot" guy. And sometimes she isn't. My attraction to men appears to be much more fluid then I think male attraction to women. I have totally been turned off visually by what the world might call a stereotypical "hot" guy. I have also been totally turned on by a stereotypical hot guy. The same is true for men with more average looks. I have been totally turned on by "average" guys and totally turned off by them too. Chemistry is a wonderful thing.

 

There is a particular man at my gym that I see regularly but never talk to that makes me all kinds of nervous. He is very attractive but there are other men at my gym that are just as attractive and I don't have the same response to them. So I suspect that I have some other things at play, unseen to the human eye, that causes me to react so strong to him vs the other hot guys at the gym. The other hot guys are just guys. But he is different.

[Fondue]

It is much easier to talk to people you don't find attractive, it's as plain as that.

 

Women who I don't fancy, I can talk to about anything and everything, make them laugh, make them interested in what I have to say. And the fact that I think nothing of them makes it all too easy to do that.

 

If I am talking to a woman I find attractive, I start questioning my words, think about what I should or have to say, etc. It gets much more difficult.

 

I am assuming this is the same for women as well. Men whom they don't find attractive are just people they have a conversation with, men whom they find attractive, they start fumbling their words or even getting defensive.

 

It seems to make pretty good sense.

 

As far as the "party boy" thing, she was just being a bitch. That's pretty much what I would attribute to. Anyone who gets defensive and personal like that right out of the gate is probably an awful person anyway. I had encountered a few of these. All the same crap.

[zengirl]

When I was single, I definitely spoke quite frequently to men I thought were physically attractive. However, my version of that may not be the same as other people's (most of my friends would agree the guys I like are attractive, sure, but the gymrat types many people like are not my type at all).

 

Beyond that, I have to say: Guys who think they're super hot quite frequently repulse me. There is nothing unsexier than a guy who thinks he's better than everyone else. That attitude---oh, look, she's talking to a fat/creepy/whatever guy, you mention---can't be hidden. And it's pretty gross. Perhaps that was the girl repellent, rather than fear.

[grkBoy]

It sounds like those women made one too many bad decisions, and they insecurely believe you'll be another one.

 

They have baggage.

[PJKino]

You may wish to review many of the threads on LS about how "women are not attracted to my type of body" etc.

 

I would say that from my experience that women overall tend to be more varietal in the body/personality type of man that they are interested in.

 

Men seem to have attractions to the female frame which are practically universal, with some variation.

 

Women, however seem to be attracted first to a guy that will be potentially responsive to them after the woman attempts to get his attention. (Don't think I explained that well)

 

Basically: women don't really want "sensitive" guys. They want guys that will be sensitive to how they feel.

 

Anytime a guy shows emotional awareness to a woman's insecurities, he immediately gets their attention. Some of these can be pretty damn obvious. (Oh, I am going to get so flamed for this)

 

If you approach a really overweight girl for instance, showing how attracted you are to her and admiring her beauty or sexuality would separate you from all of the nerds who hang out with her because she is a "nice girl" and they are "settling for what they can get." This woman wants to be sexy to a guy, perhaps even to the point of being objectified.

 

The average girl wants to be the attention-getter, the party girl wants to be seen as the "nice sweet girl with the tough exterior." A lot of "tough girls" want to be seen as feminine and want a guy that recognizes their strength but their interior vulnerability as well.

 

The Belle of the ball may be more insecure about being "taken seriously" or being realized as "smart" "strong" "nice" or "accomplished." She gets guys all the time telling her how hot she is, it is like getting served Cheerios for breakfast every single morning. Boring after a bit, even if one morning they are Honey Nut or Apple Cinnamon Cheerios. Eventually you just get sick of hearing it and it becomes a nuisance.

 

Some women just want to be noticed as creative or eccentric.

 

If you were to say to that girl at the party that, "staying out late and partying isn't my thing, I'd much rather just stay in with one great girl and cuddle," you'd have her. You wouldn't just be "party boy" then. You would be "holy crap, not what I expected" guy.

 

A lot of "hot guys" use their looks for cheap flings, and it is common knowledge that that is the case. The vast majority of women aren't looking for the "bad boy" or the "cheap fling" most of the time. Present a totally different side of yourself, and you are in business my friend.

 

And always, verbal presentation means 10X more then appearance to a girl. Most guys fail to notice this. A lot of guys confuse it with "confidence." It is verbal presentation that appeals to us.

 

Theyres really no evidence that men are more into looks then women,how many posts in the past week have we seen from women about great guys that just arent hot enough for them to sustain a relationship with?

 

I also dont buy women are into more variety,sure weight can be an issue for women in attracting Men but no more then Male height is for attracting women

[ShannonMI]

I went to a singles party on friday and it was just horrible.

 

The most frustrating part of it was that the attractive girls there felt completely comfortable talking to the nerdiest guys, the fattest guys, the creepiest guys, but completely froze up when I spoke to them.

 

One girl refused to believe anything I said, insinuating I was a 24/7 party boy, as in "I bet you like to stay out late..." with a frown of disapproval.

 

Actually when she first saw me, she just stared at me with her mouth open and struggled to form a sentence, uttering something very slowly.

 

Meanwhile, she talked for hours on end with a guy who was cross-eyed and another guy who was grossly obese. She turned down invites from both, so basically she wasted the entire evening talking to guys she would never ever date.

 

Add to that, my having to endure the constant taunts from these loser guys who are out of shape, have no fashion sense and so on.

 

I was surprised she even gave me her number.

 

...Why do girls have such difficulty talking to physically attractive men?

Hahahahahahaha you are so full of yourself. Are you really even that sexxxxy? Maybe you are just a creep and these girls don't like it.

[ShannonMI]

I can't judge how hot you are without a picture.

Yes pictures please. Then we'll tell you if it's because you're too sexxxxy or if it's because you look like a creeper.

[joystickd]

Basically: women don't really want "sensitive" guys. They want guys that will be sensitive to how they feel.

 

OMG! the sensitive concept explained. I know guys that got dumped because women said they wanted a sensitive man. I got older and realized that the concept wasn't articulated well to the man so essentially be sensitive man essentially became be a sensitive man so these guy made a weird personality change

[joystickd]

Yes pictures please. Then we'll tell you if it's because you're too sexxxxy or if it's because you look like a creeper.

 

<<<< my pic. you think creeper. I need to stop taking pics with shades on all the time

[ShannonMI]

<<<< my pic. you think creeper. I need to stop taking pics with shades on all the time

You kinda look like Lenny Kravitz. Nothing wrong with that:)

[joystickd]

You kinda look like Lenny Kravitz. Nothing wrong with that:)

That is a first. I usually hear how I look like a rapper lol. I do play guitar

[OnyxSnowfall]

When I was single, I definitely spoke quite frequently to men I thought were physically attractive. However, my version of that may not be the same as other people's (most of my friends would agree the guys I like are attractive, sure, but the gymrat types many people like are not my type at all).

 

Beyond that, I have to say: Guys who think they're super hot quite frequently repulse me. There is nothing unsexier than a guy who thinks he's better than everyone else. That attitude---oh, look, she's talking to a fat/creepy/whatever guy, you mention---can't be hidden. And it's pretty gross. Perhaps that was the girl repellent, rather than fear.

 

This.......

[ShannonMI]

That is a first. I usually hear how I look like a rapper lol. I do play guitar

You need a couple nose rings and you'll be all set.

[Emilia]

OP, can't imagine the women that go to singles events represent a wide section of society. I think you are much better off meeting people by widening your social circle. I meet men through a surfer meetup group and through activities like sailing. I wouldn't really expect many good quality guys with great social skills at a singles event. There is a reason they have to go to events like that in the first place.

[mr_sexxxy]

It is much easier to talk to people you don't find attractive, it's as plain as that.

 

Women who I don't fancy, I can talk to about anything and everything, make them laugh, make them interested in what I have to say. And the fact that I think nothing of them makes it all too easy to do that.

 

If I am talking to a woman I find attractive, I start questioning my words, think about what I should or have to say, etc. It gets much more difficult.

 

I am assuming this is the same for women as well. Men whom they don't find attractive are just people they have a conversation with, men whom they find attractive, they start fumbling their words or even getting defensive.

 

It seems to make pretty good sense.

 

As far as the "party boy" thing, she was just being a bitch. That's pretty much what I would attribute to. Anyone who gets defensive and personal like that right out of the gate is probably an awful person anyway. I had encountered a few of these. All the same crap.

 

This is the post that makes the most sense.

 

So many times I've had girls stare at me, even follow me around, but once I try to talk to them, they freeze. Their mouths are wide open, but no words come out, they just gawk. They get confused and/or hostile.

 

A typical situation is where an attractive girl is talking to me and another guy. She is completely relaxed with said other guy but with me, the tension is apparent.

 

This happens even with stunning girls who literally have dozens of guys chasing her.

[mr_sexxxy]

I've gone to meetup groups before and while I have met some nice people through those events, it is very rare for an attractive young woman to show at those events. Basically, you will get dozens of extremely desperate, socially unskilled guys fighting over the few decent looking girls there.

 

OP, can't imagine the women that go to singles events represent a wide section of society. I think you are much better off meeting people by widening your social circle. I meet men through a surfer meetup group and through activities like sailing. I wouldn't really expect many good quality guys with great social skills at a singles event. There is a reason they have to go to events like that in the first place.

[ShannonMI]

I've gone to meetup groups before and while I have met some nice people through those events, it is very rare for an attractive young woman to show at those events. Basically, you will get dozens of extremely desperate, socially unskilled guys fighting over the few decent looking girls there.

How many threads have you started about attractive women not being into you? A few. At first they seem interested in you because you are Mr. Sexxxy after all and then they give you the cold shoulder. I'm starting to think it's not the women, but some vibe you are giving off. Arrogance perhaps? Some women find that a major turn off.

[mr_sexxxy]

How many threads have you started about attractive women not being into you? A few. At first they seem interested in you because you are Mr. Sexxxy after all and then they give you the cold shoulder. I'm starting to think it's not the women, but some vibe you are giving off. Arrogance perhaps? Some women find that a major turn off.

 

That's not it; they are too intimidated by me to get to know me at all. Instead, they just use stereotypes as a substitute.

[ShannonMI]

That's not it; they are too intimidated by me to get to know me at all. Instead, they just use stereotypes as a substitute.

Well are they as attractive as you? If they are then they should not be intimidated in the least by you. If they are ugly women then yes of course a hot guy would scare them.