Not thinking abouy your ex for a day or two: how long did it take you to get there?

[Karala]

I've realized I've just gotten there. I'm 8 months broken up and 5 months NC, after a 3 1/2 year relationship.

 

It takes forever, but it does get better.

 

Now I need to get to the stage of not hoping for reconciliation anymore. I know that deep down I'm still hoping that we can reconnect later on.

[TheJiltedGeneration]

wow good job, I am glad to see that you've finally reached a stage where any persisting thoughts on your ex has started to recede to a point where you don't think of them hourly but once or twice every few days ( or times in the day)..

 

I tried a experiment a few weeks ago ( well it was more like a incentive to try and stop me from thinking of my ex which didn't work out as well as I would have hoped) and well I've worked out on average I think about my ex around 64 times a day .. ( thats around just over 2 times a hour 24 hours or in terms of times where I am awake around 4.5... a hour) and when I reflect on a moment where I asked my ex how much she thought of me, her response was I "think of you sometimes" ( you can only imagine to what extent numerically how many times a day she thought of me... though if we're talking about my ex I would actually extend that question to "how many time a MONTH " to be more accurate...)

 

So yea crazy how fixated some of us are huh? ( including me obviously ¬_¬ ) when that significant over probably put thoughts of you on the shelf months ago.... ( or in my case half a year ago..)

[jquest1280]

Just keep plodding on, and you will get to a good place eventually. When the time comes, you may not care to reconnect anymore. Or fallen in love with someone else.

 

Or, perhaps like me, believe it or not, 5 years after the break-up, I still hope for a reconnection. The difference with you is, I don't think about it everyday (only when I'm bored and have nothing to do ). And I'm very happy now, even without it

 

Recovering from the pain, hurt, anxiety, feelings of rejection and worhthlessness and all that - that's what needs to be done, actually, which time can do very well (aided by plunging oneself into interesting activities). Then the hoping part - that sort of fades as part of the process.

[Steelrain322]

I'm 8 months and 5 NC and I have not gone a single day with out thinking about her. What's your secret lol?

[The Aviator]

Yeah do let us know! I'm 7 months since the break up and pretty much 7 months NC too. Every single time my mind is not occupied with an important task i will think of her. Just this poison that I can't seem to get out my head!

 

I think she will always be there in my mind until I find another girl to replace her?

[Thieves]

Hey, Karala! Feels like I haven't seen you around here for a little while... or maybe that's just me not being up to date lately. Anyway.

 

I'd say you're about spot on, with you being 5 months NC. For me, I'd say it took about... 6 or 7 months NC to not think of him for a day or two. And believe me, it really was a relief. But of course I didn't feel it suddenly, so that's why I'm having to estimate to being around 6-7 months. It's quite gradual, where the thoughts start to finally "dissolve" a little bit. Kind of like slowly pouring water out of a glass, ever so slowly, there's less and less water in the glass.

 

Now, not hoping for reconciliation takes a little longer (obviously). I'm at the point where there's a tiny piece of me that hopes it's still possible, but I'd say 95% of me has given up on that hope. I'm not sure what will happen with the other 5%, but at least I'm not totally driven mad by thoughts of him anymore.

[USMCHokie]

Probably close to a year...and even two years later, she creeps in once in a blue moon.

[happypanda21]

22 days and its easily over 100 times daily. Stupid things too, like a bottle of wine, a place that we ate, somewhere we walked, an idea that we thought about doing.

 

I know it will get better and I'm in no rush. I just wish it would be less faster lol. I have given my heart no time limit on how long it will take to heal even though I wish I could just get over it.