Bobby289 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 (edited) I feel like I can't keep that thought from my mind. Only 11 days NC but I just want to hear something from her. I hate every time my phone goes off... I don't know how to give up when the break up was a mutual fault. Hate I still love the girl sometimes. Edited November 7, 2011 by Bobby289 Link to post Share on other sites
confused kitty Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Bobby, stay strong! 11 days really isnt that long... I too found myself watching the phone constantly and every time it rang or I recieved a msg my heart would sink to my toes when it wasnt from him, I, like you kept thinking todays the day! I found when I actually stopped watching the phone and told myself he'l contact me when hes ready - was quite literally the very day he contacted me..... co-insodience maybe, but It helped! The way your thinking now isnt helping..your not letting yourself heal and your only going to drive yourself insane thinking like this (take this from a woman who just managed to stop herself from falling over the crazy cliff lol) Stay strong hun, and keep yourself busy Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobby289 Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 Yeah thanks, I tend to have days like this about twice a week. We usually only seen eachother at night and overnight so once I get home it usually sets in with the checking of the phone etc. 11 days is not long at all I know, we broke up 1.5 months ago and were in contact every few days or so the first month so now it's just setting in forcing myself not to talk to her. She needs space and I respect that enough not to break my promise of NC. Just one of those nights... Link to post Share on other sites
confused kitty Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Oh I know exactly what you mean, the evenings are by far the worst when your tired and just want to me comforted in some little way, even trying to watch tv to "distract" yourself can really back fire when certain programes come on!! Stay strong, respect her wishes and keep NC if space is what she needs, this will be for the best.. I know how hard it is, and I know that you know what Im saying, but we all need to vent and thats what this forum is for... Look after yourself Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobby289 Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 Exactly, Its just nice not to feel alone sometimes. Doing my best to keep busy, maybe I'll get a little something one of these days. I know It's not good to keep hope but oh well. Link to post Share on other sites
Andymk Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 ok, I have a question. Does NC mean NC, no matter what? My wife moved out 4 days ago, staying with a friend. She needs time to think and clear her head. However for the few first few days we stilled texted in the morning and evening. Yesterday, she doesnt text me all day, not in the morning, and not at bedtime. I went insane yesterday, checking my phone constantly. But managed to resist texting her, I dont want to put pressure on her. It was a very long day. But this morning, she texts me and says "why didnt you text me yesterday, are you ok?" I buckled at that point, replying that I was trying to give her space and not hound her. So does NC mean NC, but you can reply if they contact you? Or does it mean absolutely 100%.....NC?! Link to post Share on other sites
confused kitty Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 What your doing is LC- Low Contact, NC generally means exactly that.. It difficut to give advice in your situation as you didnt provide much details as to why your wife left you, reasons, issues etc Link to post Share on other sites
karmaqueen Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I think its normal to feel like that. From experience of breaking NC, it just makes it worse, so stay strong. Even if you do hear from her, it will probably make you feel worse Link to post Share on other sites
Andymk Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Oh I see now. So is NC only used when the relationship has completely failed? And using NC as a way of moving on and getting closure? I was getting very needy and pushy, and maybe wanted to resolve our marital issues too quickly. So I see my wife moving out as time to think about what she actually wants and what I actually want in life. Thats why Im doing LC, to give her room to breath and hopefully she'll miss me and come back. I cant see how NC can help to fix a relationship though, so I assume its just a closure thing. Link to post Share on other sites
confused kitty Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Well I used NC to get my ex back- he broke up with me as he was feeling confused and needid to focus on himself, we stayed in LC for about 10 days and then I decided If he wanted space Id respect him and give it to him- I went NC and it lasted 3 days before he came back saying 3 days was enough to make him realise he didnt want to spend his life without me... It can work! I suggest discussing with your wife how you feel, tell her you want to give your marriage another go but that you respect her need for space to get clarity and tell her this is why your going NC, and use this time to work on yourself and your issues which lead to all this, tell her to feel free to contact you when shes come to a decision, either way. Hope that was of some use to you Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobby289 Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 Well it can do both, help you find closure and they may start to miss you. I am doing it as it is what my ex needs and I just hope it will help me find closure as well as have her initiate contact. We shall see. Link to post Share on other sites
Andymk Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Good luck with that Bobby, hang in there. Think of it like you're 3 days short of 2 weeks of NC. But I know how you feel. Everyone says "just keep yourself busy", but despite being busy, you still pause throughout the day to check your phone. And sorry for briefly hijacking your thread! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobby289 Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 Good luck with that Bobby, hang in there. Think of it like you're 3 days short of 2 weeks of NC. But I know how you feel. Everyone says "just keep yourself busy", but despite being busy, you still pause throughout the day to check your phone. And sorry for briefly hijacking your thread! Yeah its always easier said than done. Thanks, no worries. Link to post Share on other sites
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