PreservJ Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Hi I'm new to the forum and was wondering if I could get some good advice on this issue. I've been dating this girl for a while now and we recently declared ourselves to be bf/gf. We have a great time together, do alot of things together, enjoy each other's company, have great sex, etc The problem is that about a year ago, she was raped by an unknown person after drinking to much. Ever since then, she has admitted that she pushes guys away and keeps saying things like "he took everything away from me", etc. She doesn't seem to be over it and I am afraid she will push me away eventually. She trusts me and feels completely safe with me, but there are still those rape issues What can I say to her to make things better? I've never dealt with a girl who had such profound issues Link to post Share on other sites
GRRKitten Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 I know how she feels as far as being raped. Except mine was an ongoing thing. From the time I was 12-13 to age 15, by my first boyfriend. Horrible, horrible experience. If she FULLY trusted you, then you shouldn't have to worry about her pushing away. Building trust with someone like that isn't easy, but you have to try your best. It requires patience, and showing her how much you care. Show her that you'd never leave, never lie to her, never cheat. Let her know that you would never force her into doing something she's not comfortable with. Stick by her and comfort her through everything. Be protective. I'm sure you already know all these things. It's all I ever wanted from someone after that happened to me. If all goes well, you will become her attachment figure and she will never want to leave you. That's really all you can do to help her, the past can't be changed. The only way is to move forward and comfort her until she heals. Just don't break the trust by doing anything stupid. -.- Not saying you're one of those people, but it happens. And once that happens, the trust is completely gone, and she has her issues again. I'm sure that won't be an issue here, though, since you care about her enough to ask for advice/help her in her situation. Best of luck. I hope I helped at least a little. >.< Link to post Share on other sites
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