Death Punch Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 after realizing I lost the women in my dreams because I made her feel insecure about me, I have moved on (2 week deficit) anyway I have developed an interest for a new girl who had met back in June at training for a job (spent a week with her and many others camping) I know some things about her (she is a vegetarian, went to x school, ect.) that I learned at the training session. But then we seperated and went our own ways for the summer. As fall came around college started (we go to the same one and I knew we would because she said so at training) however the campus is large and we do not have any classes together so we don't see each other even know we live in the same city. Recently, she just broke up with her boy friend that she had lived with (I am amusing she had to move out) she seems to be really down about it. Knowing that she might had some upcoming struggles, I texted her and told her I was sorry for what had happened and if she needed anything I could help like I offered she could do laundry at my place if she needed to (not knowing whether or not a washer and dryer was at her disposal). She was grateful and she said I was generous and she would keep the offer at mind. this happened 4 days ago and nothing has happened since (I knew she wouldn't take the offers but I do want to start talking to her) what should I do in this situation? it seems my only methods of communication are text and facebook (though it seems she doesn't get on often)... Should I leave her completely alone or should I start communicating with her? Since she just left a long relationship, what are things I should say or do and things I shouldn't say or do? Imagine yourself in my situation and explain what you do, I don't want this attempt to fail like the last one but I know it can happen and that is just the way life is but I am entitled to overcome. Thanks to any one helps (much needed) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Death Punch Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 bump............. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Tough one but you have to remember that like so many of us here, this girl is going through some serious heart ache right now. Even if you could become her greatest friend, I reckon that's all you may be. We all need time to heal after a break up otherwise we risk jumping into relationships and hurting others as it's not what we really want. I would put money on it that there's only one person on this girls mind right now. As you too are also coming out of something very strong then it's also probably not a great time for you either. By all means, meet new people and have friends, but jumping straight into a relationship is a bit concerning. All that said, if you can accept that maybe friends is all she'll want from you, then offer your friendship but no more. Don't put pressure on her to make contact and if she goes quiet, just accept it but leave the door open should she wish to contact you. Be polite and if you see her in passing and she says something, just be nice and keep in mind the pain she is going through right now. You may feel better but we all heal differently and at different times. Link to post Share on other sites
broken-and-lost Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 If she just came out of a relationship where she was in love you are better of for your own sake leaving her be she will be hurting and only reason she turn to you is for comfort. Once she is feeling better she will move on it's not a good time to get close to someone not long after a breakup I know that probably sucks but timing is everything Link to post Share on other sites
dcornel Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Man, the thing is that women will always look for the love you see in movies. Don't push it right now, because you don't want to look like a guy who wants to take advantage of her situation. But in the mean time, you can prepare future actions. Because all the girls love it when a guy thinks of them. you must prove somehow that you have been thinking about her all this time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Death Punch Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 I know what I must do: give her time to heal. I like her enough to respect her wishes and do what is best for her. I do think of her often though though I haven't seen her in a while. Should I even bother communicating with her? Or come back to her at a greater time (couple of months or so maybe the beginning of next year?) or completely force myself out of it? the feedback is great by the way. thanks everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 after realizing I lost the women in my dreams because I made her feel insecure about me, I have moved on (2 week deficit) anyway I have developed an interest for a new girl who had met back in June at training for a job (spent a week with her and many others camping) I know some things about her (she is a vegetarian, went to x school, ect.) that I learned at the training session. But then we seperated and went our own ways for the summer. As fall came around college started (we go to the same one and I knew we would because she said so at training) however the campus is large and we do not have any classes together so we don't see each other even know we live in the same city. Recently, she just broke up with her boy friend that she had lived with (I am amusing she had to move out) she seems to be really down about it. Knowing that she might had some upcoming struggles, I texted her and told her I was sorry for what had happened and if she needed anything I could help like I offered she could do laundry at my place if she needed to (not knowing whether or not a washer and dryer was at her disposal). She was grateful and she said I was generous and she would keep the offer at mind. this happened 4 days ago and nothing has happened since (I knew she wouldn't take the offers but I do want to start talking to her) what should I do in this situation? it seems my only methods of communication are text and facebook (though it seems she doesn't get on often)... Should I leave her completely alone or should I start communicating with her? Since she just left a long relationship, what are things I should say or do and things I shouldn't say or do? Imagine yourself in my situation and explain what you do, I don't want this attempt to fail like the last one but I know it can happen and that is just the way life is but I am entitled to overcome. Thanks to any one helps (much needed) Somebody a while ago posted this (here, I think) and I found it to be really good information. Stuff that I'm using now and stuff I definitely should have known when I was your age. Basically, you're heading down the road to doormatland with the details of your story. But here you go. You have to change the way you think entirely, do you think you can do that? Since youre in school, all the women there are young and you treat them differently, to varying degrees or course. Theres ways to have the bad boy traits without actually being an a$$ whole. Treat them all like youre little sister. Dont be afraid to Tease them, poke a lil fun (not at their looks though). Dont do it all the time, but once in a while. Dont be mean, which varies depending on the personality youre dealing with, but you will learn how to walk the lines.You have to act like you dont need them. Eventually when you get enough attention, you really wont. Its all about not needing their attention, that way you can act like youre not really interested yet, which gives them the challenge to make you like them. Its all about acting like you have a booty call already lined up for you just in case anyone else doesnt work out. They smell that attitude.Dont get attached to women that you dont know or havent kissed yet. Nothing hurts like being rejected by a woman that you got attached to too soon.Dont offer to do ANYTHING for them, they have to earn your attention and favors.Make sure you dont talk about negative things about yourself. No body likes a downer. You should always be upbeat, and dont point out your flaws, or anyone elses.Dont tell them you like them, dont expose too much of your personal life to women that you havent kissed yet.Make sure you dont look like a slob, with young women, depending on how they look, style matters. Just look neat.If you talk to a group of them, dont pay too much attention to just one, make sure they all will find you charming. After a while you can isolate the one you like from the group once they all like you.Dont aks any of them for their email or FB address. Ask them for their numbers if you want to get in contact with them. if you text them or call them, and they dont call you back within a half a day, they arent interested enough. if you were charming enough to them, and they like you, they will offer their phone number, you give them yours, they will wind up calling you first. Then you know youre in. once you land the one you want, you can start the romantic stuff, but you dont go overboard. Think you can do that? Link to post Share on other sites
Mooninite1 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 As one of the above posters said, this is a tough situation. She just broke up with her boyfriend and may be feeling incredibly heartbroken at the moment. You have put yourself out there by offering assistance if she needs it. Maybe once some time passes, she will be more emotionally available to pursue something with you. I'm not saying to lay off completely, but at this stage it may be best to let her come to you if she is interested. I wish I could give better advice, but women are one of the few things I just cant seem to figure out. No offense to the women out there. Link to post Share on other sites
lostcharm Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Leave it alone. The last thing a girl wants after a break up is a guy coming on too strong or trying to "rescue" her like prince charming. She'll get back to you when/if she's ready. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Death Punch Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 Dont tell them you like them, dont expose too much of your personal life to women that you havent kissed yet.It was to my attention that you get to know each other personally well before kissing. I thought a kiss meant something special? when should you kiss someone then as you suggest to do so before knowing each other personally? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Death Punch Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 also I might add that we rarely communicate I mean she doesn't even know me well enough to make a opinion on myself. so I think what I will do is communicate with her but not go out my way to do so. I will also talk in a way where it seems I have no interest in her. you might think "well, if she doesn't know you well enough then how do you know her well enough to like her" well I spent a good week with her and she totally captured my attraction because she had such a divine grace to her and had interesting conversations. I just wanna say my door is opened and my choice is not ONLY limited to this girl. I will give her much time to heal and if I still deem here necessary to pursue then I will. but If a different girl comes to me and is attracted to me and I feel the same way then I will change course. Link to post Share on other sites
BmwSauber Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Like a couple of user above have said, Keep your distance. She is going through a breakup so there are a million things racing through her head, plus the added weight of school and maybe some other personal issues you may not know about. You have extended an offer, which is a nice symbol of friendship but that's all you should. Give her time and she will text/facebook you. Link to post Share on other sites
lostcharm Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I will also talk in a way where it seems I have no interest in her. how about just be yourself and go with the flow? Guys over think way too much when it comes to girls. We poo too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Death Punch Posted November 12, 2011 Author Share Posted November 12, 2011 Like a couple of user above have said, Keep your distance. She is going through a breakup so there are a million things racing through her head, plus the added weight of school and maybe some other personal issues you may not know about. You have extended an offer, which is a nice symbol of friendship but that's all you should. Give her time and she will text/facebook you. yeah right... she text/facebook me? I would do anything for you, within my power, if she actually did do that. Problem is I know she won't but I have grown to never have your hopes up high for women and expect the worst, that way you walk away without any down feelings. (this method has been golden for me as it has saved me from much emotion. to bad it even has to exist) Link to post Share on other sites
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