Yea, Im the other woman

[Debster]

kiababy,

 

I had no idea he was cheating on his wife with multiple women - and that he was only dropped them bit by bit. After he got caught, he says he never wants to go through that again - but - yet he is still cheating on his wife.

 

Basically it seems that he'll keep you around as long as you toe the line.

 

He seems like a complete sleazebucket who for sure can't be trusted.

 

What on earth do you find redeeming enough about him to a) love him and b) go through crap for a man you will NEVER have.

 

Why on earth are you still with him?

[kiababy]

Honestly Deb, except for my children I never feel connected to anyone. When I'm with him....I FEEL. I felt a connection the moment we met. Every time I see him I feel exactly the same way as our first meeting. I never want that to go away.

 

You're right he's done a lot of bad things, it's not like I came along and led this faithful man astray. He confessed to me that he cheated on her from the time they were dating in highschool - he's never stopped.

 

He's told me about every bad thing he has ever done, nothing illegal, just stuff you wouldn’t want even your close buddies to know about. And I don't judge him or react with disgust. I accept him with all his faults...and stroke his hair while he pours out his heart, all of his guilt and his deepest darkest secrets and desires. Sometimes he gets emotional, and I hold him and tell him it’s O.K., that he’s a good person who’s made a lot of mistakes.

 

He said I’m the only person he’s never lied to. And I believe him because in the beginning, when he still had other women, he would tell me about it. But I have other men so I would tell him about that too. Not details mind you, just experiences we had with other people.

 

I feel responsible for him, and protective. Makes no sense but this is how I feel. And as I said, I cannot picture spending my life with him; but I can’t imagine him not being in my life either. There are no vague ideas about being together some day. He said that he wants two women in his life - his wife and me because, brace yourself: 'once you have a good thing at home....you don't need to go anywhere else...'

 

Yes he really said that...have you stopped laughing yet?

[Debster]

I am sorry to say but the fact that you don't feel a connection with anyone is the saddest thing I've read in a long time. Maybe that is why you are clinging to this jerk - he is the only one that makes you feel. However, that does not have to be the case.

 

Please, go to counselling to deal with these issues and get over you previous hurts. Open your heart (and mind) up to love and connections with people who are willing, ready and able to be there for you and support you (and vice versa).

 

To me, it seems like you are his foster mom (or therapist) - whom he also boinks. It also seems like you have the mother complex when it comes to him too.

Yuck!! Is this what you want?

 

Clearly not only is he acting selfishly, immaturely and like a pig, he is also VERY DUMB and you are eating up all the crap he feeds you.

 

He said that he wants two women in his life - his wife and me because, brace yourself: 'once you have a good thing at home....you don't need to go anywhere else...'

 

Then why does he go around boinking so many women! What a complete moron.

 

I highly doubt that he feels one iota of the things you do and repeat that you are only opening yourself up to more hurt.

[kiababy]

His therapist…. definitely. Mother figure? Lord no! Ironically, one of the reasons I couldn’t stand my ex-husband is because he treated me like I was HIS mother. His mother died of cancer when he was 11 and he always said he married me because I was a ‘good mother’. To this day he refers to me as ‘mummy’, which is sooooo sickening I can hardly stand it.

 

My lover always fooled around with really young women, early 20’s, imagine how flattering it was for me to win him over the young girls for his attention.

 

I did try and go to a therapist for help when I was on the second married man, the guy who is now in the middle of his divorce. The first therapist and his assistant gave me a 100-page questionnaire to fill out and wanted to start with my childhood. I didn’t want to talk about my childhood – I wanted to talk about what was bothering me TODAY.

 

The second therapist was better, he dealt with my immediate issues but had this unnerving habit of moving his chair close to me and getting right in my face when I said something he didn’t like – you know, like saying ‘I can’t’ too much or whatever. It made me so nervous when he did that. Except for my sons, I can’t stand anyone in my personal space like that, it’s so unsettling to me.

 

And when I’m with HIM – I’m absolutely captivated. I’m very affectionate with him, constantly touching him and kissing him and he loves it. I think he’s beautiful and I can’t take my eyes off him or keep my hands off him.

 

I haven’t really said what he does to make ME feel good but he really does. He tells me I’m beautiful all the time, notices the little tiny things that men never notice. He calls just to tell me that I’m ‘amazing’ and his idea of ‘perfect’. I get lots of compliments from people and it’s nice to hear but a compliment from him means soooo much to me.

 

There’s so much to this relationship – we both have needs that we can’t fulfill with other people. We’re totally comfortable together, we can relax and be ourselves.

 

And one more thing….you know how guys never like to call the day after you’ve been ‘together’? Well he does. He calls to tell me how wonderful it was, how happy I make him and replays every moment and detail. He remembers ALL of it.

 

Amazing.

[otherwomen]

Originally posted by istilllovehim

Yea, Im the other woman and I hate him and her and me~

 

 

[color=red][/color]

Me too, and I hate him and her....why do we do that?

I am so angry.

I gave him everything, everything that he was lacking at home.

Some princess and dream girl I was.

 

Oh, one more thing, 6 months before me he had a one night stand with a lady from his workplace that his wife doesn't know about. She only knows about me.

[kiababy]

You know what I read somewhere? Some psychologist said that the other woman often provides a kind of 'therapy' and 'release' which can actually diffuse the problems the man has at home!! By being his 'princess' and 'dream girl', he gets to go home and be happy and content and when the wife is bitching at him, he's saying 'yes dear', while inside he's fantasizing about the great sex he just had with us!!!!

 

I kind of think these guys are the ultimate bad boy - the guy you think you can reform, and give him something no one else can. I don't think they want to have a regular life with us. They don't want to have to discuss bills and kids and problems at work...and deal with us when we have the flu. They want a woman who is always dressed to the nine's, hot and ready for him whenever he needs it..

 

Damn.

[kiababy]

I can't believe I wrote all that yesterday - sounds so....sensible. But then this morning he calls and all of that knowlege and awareness flies right out of my head. We actually talked about what we'll be doing 'years from now' if we're still together. Even worse, I've met an enabler....a man who says that if I date him...I can keep my LOVER!!! I asked him if he was for real and he said that obviously this guy makes me happy....he wouldn't expect me to put him out of my life.

 

This is crazy. I'm crazy. Next week I start summer hours at work....I'll have half day off every Friday. We've already made plans to meet for that half day. I'll bring him lunch, we'll fool around in the back of his truck. I'm a clean freak, I keep baby wipes on my desk and wipe my hands constantly, wipe off my keyboard and my phone.....I take them into the washroom with me...... My colleagues tease me about it. Yet the thought of being in the back of his filthy, tool filled truck turns me on.....

 

His work crew will be starting a project out of town in June. They'll be put up in a chalet for a week - he wants me to come up there. The guys he works with, well one anyway, and his boss know about me. He specifically asks me to leave him voicemails that he can play for them. I'm his personal whore.

[Debster]

I'm his personal whore.

 

I hate to break it to you but at least a whore gets paid for it.

You are opening yourself up to hurt, being selfish, and getting fuc$%d for free!!

[kiababy]

I know all this Deb. I can't/won't stop. I had a great date last night with a wonderful guy, single (divorced), sweet, kind, polite - a real gentleman, wants to take me and my sons camping.......the whole time I'm sitting across from him drinking my cappucino I'm smiling and nodding and thinking "......I wonder what MM is doing right now.....he's so hot...."