ryandxtreme Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 (edited) Hello everyone...It feels great to come back here after so many months and post... LS was my greatest support during the most difficult phase of my life...It helped me stand up and fight back(in life that is) during those sleepless nights,those silly summer evenings when nothing felt good and I hovered around aimlessly and had nothing to do except feel miserable... Last time I logged on here(probably in june) I had to create a new account...so I'm sorry that u people can't check my earlier posts and see how miserable I was back then... My humble request to all of u is "please don't give up ur fight"..U can do it ..and after u overcome this pain u will see how much u have evolved as a person...and that your relationship was not that perfect as u may have imagined it to be...and trust me "he/she" lied when they said "they would love u forever"(hell,mine had promised to be with me for the next 10 lives )...and yes,they are selfish...otherwise they wouldn't have left u in the first place causing u all the pain...do u really want to be with someone who is so hypocrite,so selfish???.. These past few months I tried working really hard on my life ...I read some fabulous novels and philosophical books,hit the gym even on the days when the pain felt unbearable...studied late till nights...tried to go to places with friends and yes,enjoy them too... Hell yes...I HAVE NOW GOT A GREAT JOB IN MY DREAM COMPANY TOO with a very lucrative pay(please don't feel I'm being cocky,I'm just trying to emphasize on how much I have turned it around) ...and came to know from a mutual friend that my ex-gf who still checks on my FB wall has found out about my new job...YEAH IT DOES FEEL GREAT TO SHOW THEM THAT WE HAVE BECOME SUCCESSFUL...In short I have now become a lot independent with respect to my emotions and have evolved as a better man..those bad-mood days have become far and few with time(those who are hurting lemme tell u suddenly one fine morning[pretty soon] when u get up from bed that lump on your heart will hurt much lesser)... It's ur life..don't hand out the remote-control of ur emotions to somebody else..and never ever be friends with ur exes..it doesn't work out..u will feel more betrayed... And all those who are pissed off, trust KARMA..What goes around does come back around !!!! CHEERS !!! Edited November 7, 2011 by ryandxtreme Link to post Share on other sites
voels Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 (edited) That's pretty fast, I suppose. Congrats. I'm glad you're better off now. It has been a year for me. Things aren't that bright. I hit the gym, have a new car, and decent job. The usual stuff, but she's in much better position than I am (from a common friend of mine, sigh), plus with her new BF. I no longer miss or love her but I have this longing for revenge to show it that I'm much better without her (but I'm not, not many friends to begin with), and have this deep pain because *she* goes NC straight away after the breakup, and dump me just like that, like I'm a piece of trash after all I've done for her. Not a single contact, email, SMS, MSN, YM or what not from her. No nothing. Just like that. Congrats from me once again Edited November 7, 2011 by voels Link to post Share on other sites
Author ryandxtreme Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 Firstly thanks a lot bro ... Even for me it hasn't been too fast man..i broke up in January and was just in deep anguish till june-july...actually the problem for me was that after a 4.5 yrs relationship i had thought that it was impossible to be happy without her...i would link her more intricately to the core of my life and thoughts every-time i tried not to ...then I read a couple of my books which literally opened my eyes..since then i have been in control... Try out different things u love doing man..then evaluate which works for u now to keep u happy..I can understand what u mean by trying to show her by becoming successful...let it be the driving force now...then u will see u will do it for yourself...and trust me in life "when one door closes,another opens"... Let ur success be the biggest revenge on her ...and try to gulp-in the fact bro that at some level or the other we all are alone,though not necessarily lonely... Link to post Share on other sites
PositiveNegative Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Thank you for coming back. Glad to hear you're doing much better. My ex did indeed tell me many times that she wanted to be with me forever, well, forever in her mind consisted of 16 months. And now she is with another guy, after knowing him for 3 weeks. Here to hoping you are right about karma! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ryandxtreme Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 and have this deep pain because *she* goes NC straight away after the breakup, and dump me just like that, like I'm a piece of trash after all I've done for her. Not a single contact, email, SMS, MSN, YM or what not from her. No nothing. Just like that. Congrats from me once again Trust me I understand how u must be feeling..even I was dumped out of the blue when I did nothing wrong,absolute nothing wrong...and she was the one who had cheated on me twice during our relation...After the breakup she would call me and literally torture me saying stuff like "It's my life,I'm a free person ..I can come out of a relationship whenever I want...", "I am quite young,this is the age to go around with guys,I can go around and sleep with as many guys as I like", "U are a cursed person" etc etc... Actually these words helped me recover faster ... But ask yourself just once,who is the greater person here???U or SHE???definitely u are...after all u did for her this is the way she treats u... Don't worry bro, life will make her repent for what she did...just hang on Link to post Share on other sites
Author ryandxtreme Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 Thank you for coming back. Glad to hear you're doing much better. My ex did indeed tell me many times that she wanted to be with me forever, well, forever in her mind consisted of 16 months. And now she is with another guy, after knowing him for 3 weeks. Here to hoping you are right about karma! Thanks for your wishes dude... Think for yourself how much of a fickle she is...If now u are taken back in time to the day u met her ,would u have still got into a relationship with her???I wouldn't ..Think how much better-off u are now that u are not going to marry her ...May be U/I have been saved from hiring a divorce-lawyer ...Its much better to be alone than to be with people who move-in and move-out of relationships in days...I,for one,have realized it the hard way...As I said,have faith in 'karma'... Link to post Share on other sites
PositiveNegative Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Fickle is a correct word to use. I don't regret the relationship as I am now much better for having learned what I have learned. Though, you are right about being glad I didn't end up marrying her. Much better she left me now than with two kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ryandxtreme Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 Though, you are right about being glad I didn't end up marrying her. Much better she left me now than with two kids. That's it...Bingo Link to post Share on other sites
pink glitter Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I flipping love your words of encouragement! I think I'm nearly there! X Link to post Share on other sites
Author ryandxtreme Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 I think I'm nearly there! X Amen to that...I'm sure u are !! Link to post Share on other sites
Rarinbug Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Hi, thank you for the inspiring post, nice to see someone come out of it a better person. I like what you said about letting someone else have a remote control to your emotions, certainly makes me think I should sort myself out! Also, I was sceptical about Karma until what happened to me, obviously things happening to me doesn't make it definite but it has certainly made me believe! Link to post Share on other sites
Wesker Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Firstly thanks a lot bro ... Even for me it hasn't been too fast man..i broke up in January and was just in deep anguish till june-july...actually the problem for me was that after a 4.5 yrs relationship i had thought that it was impossible to be happy without her...i would link her more intricately to the core of my life and thoughts every-time i tried not to ...then I read a couple of my books which literally opened my eyes..since then i have been in control... Try out different things u love doing man..then evaluate which works for u now to keep u happy..I can understand what u mean by trying to show her by becoming successful...let it be the driving force now...then u will see u will do it for yourself...and trust me in life "when one door closes,another opens"... Let ur success be the biggest revenge on her ...and try to gulp-in the fact bro that at some level or the other we all are alone,though not necessarily lonely...[/quote I almost have you doubled. My ex dumped me back in June after being together for almost 8 years. Even worse, she's living and engaged with this other idiot just mere weeks after leaving me. Not exactly the best summer for me this year. I felt just like you X3. Not all was bad though. I dropped 15lbs, and in the best shape in quite some time. Reconnected with an old friend who even tried setting me up with a couple prospects. It's been 5 months now since the breakup, and it seems like I'm kinda stuck in the anger stage. I suppose working at the same place as my ex, and her new dirtball doesn't help that. Some of the dreams, and thoughts I have of her aren't the prettiest. Reading your story gives me hope though. I know what I have to offer. I wasn't the one that quit, or lied for a year. Link to post Share on other sites
Shontay Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Thank you so much for the Inspiring words...Karma does surely come back 100X worse...I believe it you reap what you so. Link to post Share on other sites
LelouchIsZero Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Thank you so much for the Inspiring words...Karma does surely come back 100X worse...I believe it you reap what you so. The Western version of karma? or Eastern religion? The Western version is a joke & the Eastern is barely plausible. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 That's pretty fast, I suppose. Congrats. I'm glad you're better off now. It has been a year for me. Things aren't that bright. I hit the gym, have a new car, and decent job. The usual stuff, but she's in much better position than I am (from a common friend of mine, sigh), plus with her new BF. I no longer miss or love her but I have this longing for revenge to show it that I'm much better without her (but I'm not, not many friends to begin with), and have this deep pain because *she* goes NC straight away after the breakup, and dump me just like that, like I'm a piece of trash after all I've done for her. Not a single contact, email, SMS, MSN, YM or what not from her. No nothing. Just like that. Congrats from me once again I feel exactly the same too. My ex is a hypocrite. He would insult me about my car, yet he has a crap car himself. They don't contact because they're cowards or in the honeymoon stage with their rebound. But if they do it's all BS anyway. e.g wanting a shoulder to cry on or a shag. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ryandxtreme Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 The Western version of karma? or Eastern religion? The Western version is a joke & the Eastern is barely plausible. Okay, then don't call it karma... call it life's unique way of getting back at someone who screws around...may be call it "cause-effect",whatever it's, u just can't escape it.. I'm sure even u have experienced it in your life...or may be u have discarded this option altogether bro,thinking of incidents as mere coincidence ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ryandxtreme Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 Thank you so much for the Inspiring words...Karma does surely come back 100X worse...I believe it you reap what you so. Thanks for your words of appreciation ... If my post can bring even a trace of hope to anyone who has given up on life altogether after their break-ups I would feel immensely elated.... I agree with u 200 % about your views on Karma Link to post Share on other sites
Author ryandxtreme Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 (edited) I almost have you doubled. My ex dumped me back in June after being together for almost 8 years. Even worse, she's living and engaged with this other idiot just mere weeks after leaving me. Not exactly the best summer for me this year. I felt just like you X3. Not all was bad though. I dropped 15lbs, and in the best shape in quite some time. Reconnected with an old friend who even tried setting me up with a couple prospects. It's been 5 months now since the breakup, and it seems like I'm kinda stuck in the anger stage. I suppose working at the same place as my ex, and her new dirtball doesn't help that. Some of the dreams, and thoughts I have of her aren't the prettiest. Reading your story gives me hope though. I know what I have to offer. I wasn't the one that quit, or lied for a year. Yeah u are just on the right track as far as I can see... I am not exactly a believer in forgiving someone rapidly..may be it's the right thing to do,may be it saves us from lots of useless thoughts but still it's not an easy thing to do... the anger will be there,remember only time heals...but u need not have to worry about her right now...our ex-gfs are now the headache[yes headache !disloyal people are only headache] of some other losers...let them suffer[with our exes] ... What I do these days when I remember her is to think of all the wrong things she did and said to me....This creates such an aversion in my mind that the next thought about her comes to my mind a few hours later...See what works for u..But ultimately even this anger will fade away,I promise u that... Also remember success is not about excelling in the absence of hardship but standing out from the crowd and reaching your destination when the road forward is covered only with thorns... It's you who chose to make her a part of your life and now let it be u who puts his foot down and takes control of it...She became a source of happiness at some stage, only because u had let her be so...IT WAS ALWAYS ABOUT U,ONLY U AND YOUR THOUGHTS MAKE IT LOOK GOOD OR BAD,never them ..... Just hang in there...As I said u are truly on your way Edited November 8, 2011 by ryandxtreme Link to post Share on other sites
Steelrain322 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 You just gotta remember your ex gf WILL be old one day, and no where near as attractive as she once was, that's good enough revenge for me anyway. Also we all die in the end, so what did it all matter anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
PositiveNegative Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 You just gotta remember your ex gf WILL be old one day, and no where near as attractive as she once was, that's good enough revenge for me anyway. This is true. And she will get bigger too. Then the pedastal she's on will collapse from her weight. Won't matter though, cause I will have long turned my eyes away at that point. Link to post Share on other sites
LelouchIsZero Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 (edited) Okay, then don't call it karma... call it life's unique way of getting back at someone who screws around...may be call it "cause-effect",whatever it's, u just can't escape it.. I'm sure even u have experienced it in your life...or may be u have discarded this option altogether bro,thinking of incidents as mere coincidence ... I don't see how calling it something else would change anything...? How exactly does karma measure whats "good" & "bad"? How does one define what's good & bad? What about mentally/physically disabled people, do they have karma? Karma would suggest some sort of equality, which there isn't. "Bad" people get away with things all the time, even without facing the wrath of karma. I'm pointing out why its flawed because two people in this thread are taking solace in the fact that karma is apparently going to "get their ex's back for how they treated them". To be quite frank, that isn't moving on properly. Congrats for getting to where you're at, but sorry, I'd much rather "believe" in logic & chance. Edited November 9, 2011 by LelouchIsZero Link to post Share on other sites
Rorschach64 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Lelouch is right. Giving up justice and, hell, even your future to some higher power is just avoiding any sort of responsibility as a person and an adult. That's just my opinion as a filthy non believer. To truly heal and move on, again another opinion, you have to forgive your ex to the best of your ability and not hate them. Why should you even after all the pain and suffering they have caused? They are only human and granted their choices down right are sucktacular they did what they thought was right then walked away from us. If they want back in our lives then they must roger up on their horrible ways and apologize sincerely, otherwise who cares about them since they are no longer in our lives. Anyway....it does get better so drive on and drink water. 5 months NC, some rough days but it is getting better. Link to post Share on other sites
Bito Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Lelouch is right. Giving up justice and, hell, even your future to some higher power is just avoiding any sort of responsibility as a person and an adult. That's just my opinion as a filthy non believer. To truly heal and move on, again another opinion, you have to forgive your ex to the best of your ability and not hate them. Why should you even after all the pain and suffering they have caused? They are only human and granted their choices down right are sucktacular they did what they thought was right then walked away from us. If they want back in our lives then they must roger up on their horrible ways and apologize sincerely, otherwise who cares about them since they are no longer in our lives. Anyway....it does get better so drive on and drink water. 5 months NC, some rough days but it is getting better. If holding on to the pain gets me my dream then it will be 10000X worth any anguish i feel. Keeping that pain and using it as a driving force has made me so much more productive and motivated to achieve what I want. I want her to see me when I am successful. She runs from her emotions while I deal with mine and become a much stronger person. I consider what she did the best thing that ever happened to me because it has made me into the person I have always wanted to be. Nothing will stop me from succeeding... Link to post Share on other sites
Newflor32 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I too dont take solace in karma as this world is not fair at times but if makes you feel better and stronger, more power to you. We have to learn to accept these things in life. I dont wish my ex anything, some people arent for us for whatever reason and we need to move on. It takes time, i know it does. Though i cant draw strength from karma but you must do what you need to do to heal. Goodluck! Link to post Share on other sites
Hewie Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I don't know much about your story. But i did pressume you don't know mind as well. But firstly i did like to congratulate you for becoming so strong, you did became my role model. As for the other part, yes all the words they said and all. It just hurts so much. I have been losing myself lately. I don't do well in everything i planned to do. It's so hard not to think about them and it also hurts everytime i think about them. But i came to a conclusion that no matter how she treats me, i am not going to do the same. I mean we don't have to take such matters to our own hand. God is fair. This is what i learnt. (Sorry not a christian or catholic here) let time decide everything. I also learnt that loving the right person, somehow whether there would be adversity or whatsoever, that almost all days are valentine day. Not just that day alone. I don't know, but it may be wrong to some of you. For mine, she said that we are friends now and should just keep boundaries around. To me, it's like telling me that, "that dog has died, but we can still keep it." saying i am an awesome guy and the guy that she is attrached to. Come to think of it, she just wanna look good. I couldn't. After what i have done for her, and this is how she treats me. She even intend to call up the cops on me. Hate me as well she said. I used to plead beg and cried for her. Oh and ended up a result that i had no backbone and i am not a man towards her. Maybe what she said is true. Maybe she don't. But pride and all have to be put down on certain situation. Then i realised it's a lesson learnt. Link to post Share on other sites
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