Queen of Hearts 10 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Very nice RECOVERY to you ! We all have to learn to walk alone some times in our own lives with out another person. We have to pick ourselves up off of the ground, and start again. Love and the heart ache have done such damage I don't want another bad relationship for a long time so I'm being very careful as I begin again to date ! Take the red flags very seriously !!!! But I danced around the house like crazy when I found out my EX was dumped after his 2 month relationship with his hot girlfriend. Karma back at him for sure ! So thank you for the post for all of us to get the Victory. Queen of Hearts 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ryandxtreme Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 I don't know much about your story. But i did pressume you don't know mind as well. But firstly i did like to congratulate you for becoming so strong, you did became my role model. As for the other part, yes all the words they said and all. It just hurts so much. I have been losing myself lately. I don't do well in everything i planned to do. It's so hard not to think about them and it also hurts everytime i think about them. But i came to a conclusion that no matter how she treats me, i am not going to do the same. I mean we don't have to take such matters to our own hand. God is fair. This is what i learnt. (Sorry not a christian or catholic here) let time decide everything. I also learnt that loving the right person, somehow whether there would be adversity or whatsoever, that almost all days are valentine day. Not just that day alone. I don't know, but it may be wrong to some of you. For mine, she said that we are friends now and should just keep boundaries around. To me, it's like telling me that, "that dog has died, but we can still keep it." saying i am an awesome guy and the guy that she is attrached to. Come to think of it, she just wanna look good. I couldn't. After what i have done for her, and this is how she treats me. She even intend to call up the cops on me. Hate me as well she said. I used to plead beg and cried for her. Oh and ended up a result that i had no backbone and i am not a man towards her. Maybe what she said is true. Maybe she don't. But pride and all have to be put down on certain situation. Then i realised it's a lesson learnt. What I have realized since I have broken up is that the dumpers are always very likely to curse and verbally abuse the dumpees....may be that's a defence mechanism for them,to relieve their guilty feelings...to take solace in the fact that who they have given up was really unworthy ...so what see says should matter u the least for she says what makes her feel good about the whole thing...if she falls out of love it's not your fault,u have your own identity besides being her bf(ex that is,i'm sorry)... Spend time with your close buddies ...they have unique ways to make u feel special...if someone couldn't realize how special u are ,u are far better off without that person...respect precedes love and I believe bro the real good people never hurt others... some people [like my ex] carry the misconception that people who can't man up and give it back in equal measures are backboneless and not "man enough"[the term used by my ex to describe me when I was standing infront of her with tears rolling down my face after she decided to call it quits ...after a fortnight after our breakup she had a new-bf]...in my opinion nothing can be farther from the truth...it's very easy to come out of a relation and move straight onto another..it takes guts to feel the pain,learn the lessons,acknowledge the mistakes and try and put the best foot forward in front of the world,in addition to trying to emerge as a better person...so stop judging yourself by what she says !!!!remember there are a lot of people in this world who can acknowledge your "goodness" if u are a good man... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ryandxtreme Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 Very nice RECOVERY to you ! We all have to learn to walk alone some times in our own lives with out another person. We have to pick ourselves up off of the ground, and start again. Love and the heart ache have done such damage I don't want another bad relationship for a long time so I'm being very careful as I begin again to date ! Take the red flags very seriously !!!! But I danced around the house like crazy when I found out my EX was dumped after his 2 month relationship with his hot girlfriend. Karma back at him for sure ! So thank you for the post for all of us to get the Victory. Queen of Hearts 10 Yeah I think the one point in which all of us would agree is that we have evolved as a much better person after our heartache...and I agree with your opinion of not dating immediately for a lot of work still needs to be done...I don't want to get involved with someone till I have fully recovered ...that would be wrong on the other person congrats for your sweet bit of victory...I'm sure it felt good Congrats to you though Link to post Share on other sites
Author ryandxtreme Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 I don't see how calling it something else would change anything...? How exactly does karma measure whats "good" & "bad"? How does one define what's good & bad? What about mentally/physically disabled people, do they have karma? Karma would suggest some sort of equality, which there isn't. "Bad" people get away with things all the time, even without facing the wrath of karma. I'm pointing out why its flawed because two people in this thread are taking solace in the fact that karma is apparently going to "get their ex's back for how they treated them". To be quite frank, that isn't moving on properly. Congrats for getting to where you're at, but sorry, I'd much rather "believe" in logic & chance. Probably u have misinterpreted what I meant to say...I have never mentioned karma as a tool to get back your exes...what I meant was that since we are no longer in the relationship the only person about whom we should care right now is "us"...and leave things we can't control[like what happens to your ex after she hurt you] on "karma"... "karma" is something like your results in examination..if u study well u get good grades,if u don't u are screwed...if u give it a thought every aspect of nature works that way.... there is accountability in most cases,i guess,maybe not all... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ryandxtreme Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 Lelouch is right. Giving up justice and, hell, even your future to some higher power is just avoiding any sort of responsibility as a person and an adult. That's just my opinion as a filthy non believer. To truly heal and move on, again another opinion, you have to forgive your ex to the best of your ability and not hate them. Why should you even after all the pain and suffering they have caused? They are only human and granted their choices down right are sucktacular they did what they thought was right then walked away from us. If they want back in our lives then they must roger up on their horrible ways and apologize sincerely, otherwise who cares about them since they are no longer in our lives. Anyway....it does get better so drive on and drink water. 5 months NC, some rough days but it is getting better. To start with I would like to appreciate you for putting forward your opinion here... Yeah may be forgiving and forgetting them altogether would have made everything a lot easier for us...But since it is not an easy thing to do not all wounds are healed by forgiving,i suggested using the negative feelings u have about your ex as a motivation to do well in life[like we are showing them what we are capable of and what they have missed out by ditching us]... See it's like a physically-challenged person doing very well in life ...they just can't forget with the blink of an eye that they are suffering ,neither they can forgive "life" for being harsh on them... when at public places people stare at them,they just can't help but feel bad...but many of them use their handicap as a motivation[this way they turn the negatives thoughts into positives] and become really famous [do I need to give examples here???]...this urge to show others that u can do things that they never ever thought u could do is such a great driving force and sometimes can make u do wonders... I guess now u can understand what I meant by not forgiving too soon... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ryandxtreme Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 (edited) If holding on to the pain gets me my dream then it will be 10000X worth any anguish i feel. Keeping that pain and using it as a driving force has made me so much more productive and motivated to achieve what I want. I want her to see me when I am successful. She runs from her emotions while I deal with mine and become a much stronger person. I consider what she did the best thing that ever happened to me because it has made me into the person I have always wanted to be. Nothing will stop me from succeeding... I agree with u 500%...this is exactly how I perceive the situation now ... Just never let this fire die...Remember,we were not born only to be someone's bf/gf...Success is the sweetest justice we all can get Edited November 9, 2011 by ryandxtreme Link to post Share on other sites
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