Curtis Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 My ex-girlfriend and I had been going out for six months. We broke up about two months ago which I think was a huge mistake. She thought I wasnt putting enough effort into the relationship or appreciate her enough. We did decide to remain close friends. After the break I was very supportive for her. She would come to me for support and I think I made a huge difference for her. But at this point I was still under the impression that maybe we were meant to be apart. I have seen her twice since the breakup. The first time about two weeks after we broke up. We watched some television and talked, but not about us. At one point she became a little playful so being nice I warned her I was going to play back. She quickly ended up on top of me and in my arms but after a warm hug she removed herself saying "it feels to good". The last time we went out was to dinner and a movie was about three weeks after. I gave her a warm and welcomed hug when we met, and another before going into the theatre. We talked during dinner, but not about us.. We had a great time. At the end of the night i hugged her again and we came intensely close to a kiss which didnt happen. I KNEW she didnt want to get back together at this point and we somehow mutually broke off before it happened. Now, two months later, I have been thinking about her everyday and want to get back with her. She recently met someone and seems happy but they've only been seeing each other for 2-3 weeks. We had been talking a couple times a week until recently. After the first week we didnt talk I missed her so much that I went overboard and called her several times the same day. She called back but to say "she doesnt think it will ever happen". After that I sent a long email trying to explain, for the first time, everything I had been feeling since the break up. I think this email only made it worse. I havent said or done the right things with her in the past two months apart or the final month I was with her, and now she's seeing someone else... We had been great about being friends but I didnt tell her how I felt soon enough. Now that she knows, I'm not sure what to do. I want to call her and be a friend and see what happens.... Link to post Share on other sites
2ndConfusedfemale Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 Are you sure that the only reason you aren't wanting her back is because she has someone else? At first you said that you were sure that being apart was better, and NOW that she has someone you are more interested than you've seemed during the whole breakup. I think that you really need to figure out your motivation...Once that is done, if you think that you really do want her, and you really do love her let her be with this other guy (she just might need to be with him to really appreciate what she had in you). Don't try to convince her that you're "the one" and DO NOT try to convince her that he's not. I also think that you should back away from this "friendship" with her. Obviously you don't want a "friendship" with her, and as long as you want more, the "friendship" will not work. Leave her alone for a while, be alone to figure out what you really want (Is it her, or some of her qualities?), only then can you figure out what you should or shouldn't do next. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Curtis Posted May 21, 2004 Author Share Posted May 21, 2004 Thanks for your response, I discovered I wanted her back after seeing her the first time since breaking up, which was well before she met someone. Before that I was letting the reason for breaking up sink in, figuring out what happened and why. I have realized that my motivation is that she is the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm horrible at the non-contact thing. I'm able to hold off on calling, but instant messangers... I see her online every few days and I cant resist talking to her there. Distancing myself by blocking or not using the messanger I cant and wont do. I think you're right tho, I know it should be obvious.. I will try to leave her be while I keep thinking... Link to post Share on other sites
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