Best friends for years, and now...

[built4speed]

Things are changing.

 

A little back story is definitely needed here:

 

I'm 27 and have just finalized my divorce. The ex and I were together for about 8 years, married for 5. No worries though, that needed to happen a long time ago. The longer it went, the more we realized we were too young. She has since moved closer to her family, about halfway across the country. I honestly couldn't be happier.

 

Now, my ex and I were best friends with fraternal twin sisters. We've known them just short of how long we've known each other. Been through a lot together, good times, bad times, etc. We've taken care of each other but have had a hell of a lot of fun in the process.

 

Since my ex moved a few months ago, I've been spending a lot of time with one of the sisters in particular. We've taken a couple road trips, been each other's "dates" for a couple weddings, and we have a day a week that we set aside just to hang out and do whatever outside of all of that- just us. At the risk of making myself out to sound like a jerk, I've actually had feelings for her for quite some time, upwards of a year. Never thought anything about it, since I was married until recently, but there ya go...

 

So a couple weeks ago, she and I had a bit of a revelation. We were at a Halloween party, had a couple drinks in us, and all of a sudden, I had the bright idea to tell her that I have had feelings for her for a long time. Much to my surprise, she confessed the same to me. We had come to the party with a few other people, and every one of them looked at us after this and basically said "Well it's about time, you two". Apparently we've had people pulling for us to get together for quite a while.

 

Anyway, we've talked about it a little. We agreed to just see where this goes, take our time, etc. No sense in rushing things. However, since that fateful night, things have gone quiet. To me, it feels as if we're both nervous and hesitant to truly make that next move. I feel it incumbent upon me to make that move, yet I'm getting signals (I think) that I should hold off.

 

Finding the middle ground is tough here. She's pretty shy, even around me at times and especially when we're alone. I don't consider myself a master of reading people, but I can almost feel her nerves working overtime when we're around each other. And that's totally understandable. This is a huge risk we're going to take if it does indeed come down to that. I get that. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable by having a tough conversation or making too strong a move too soon. I really don't want to wait too long either.

 

To be clear: I definitely don't want to take things too fast either. I really like the dynamic she and I have right now, but we may both be having difficulty in making ourselves vulnerable in that way.

 

To sum up, the closer she and I have gotten have made me realize that it should have been her all along. I want nothing less than to screw this up and I hope someone can help me out. She's worth whatever I have to do to make this work.