An argument for race and status for dating - white women will NEVER date asian men

[USMCHokie]

I am going to grow a pair of balls and starting approaching and asking women out instead of making excuses. I'll let you know how it goes. Though I've been on a few dates with a friend of a friend I met on Halloween. She's white.

[OneFootOut]

Holy Sh@t!

 

Do you want to go on a date?

 

Seriously...

 

 

 

It just dawned on me that I will never be successful dating, or finding a 'permanent' mate unless and until I find one with similar beliefs and opinions. One who doesn't buy into the "dating rules, media, percentages, studies, all women this, all men that, status, popularity, outward appearance, social expectations, other people's opinions, etc."

 

I have been through a lot in my life, as I am sure we all have. My earlier years could read like a Stephen King novel. I've been through a lot of personal trauma, loss, pain, almost died, and almost killed. I have lost everything I owned before. I have lived for months without any utilities, and managed to keep my kids happy, healthy, and oblivious while my world was falling apart. I’ve fallen and gotten up more times than I can count. Still, I strive to be strong and be my best, even though I am full of faults and flaws.

 

Through it all, I learned what is truly valuable and important in life, and what is petty and superficial. I just feel like I am beyond the outward stuff and society's views on who should be with whom. No, I’m not better than anyone, I just think my experiences have given me a different view on people and life and what really matters.

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]As I read these forums, there is so much talk about looks and social status, all women want is money, jewelry, Chippendale models, and all men want is a mute sex goddess that other men will envy. [/FONT][/sIZE][sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]People post on here about having one gf / bf after another. What gives? How can someone jump from relationship to relationship like that? [/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]It seems like a lot of people have lost sight of the meaningful and valuable part of relationships. They have lost sight of having self-respect and honor and effort in making one work. They are too quick to toss it aside and move on as soon as anything gets hard or uncomfortable, instead of doing everything in their power to work it out. They’ve became numb to it all, and made relationships as disposable as paper cups.[/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I need someone who has been through enough to realize the things that matter can’t even be seen from the outside.[/FONT][/sIZE]

[Pierre]

Oops I better correct my own post (see below)

 

I see many Asian women with White dudes, but very few white women with Asian males.

 

Few black women with white guys and a lot of white females with black guys.

 

I am not sire why white women over Asian men. Statistically Asian men are more educated and earn a higher income.

 

Maybe Black men are smooth and Asian men have no game.

[OneFootOut]

My apologies for the mess in the above post, it won't allow me to edit.

[OneFootOut]

Holy Sh@t!

 

Do you want to go on a date?

 

Seriously...

 

Sure, when will you be flying down to NC?

[Mrlonelyone]

The OP's friend is wrong but pretending that race isn't an issue in dating anymmore is just as bad.

 

It is just as WRONG to say that race and social status concerns have NOTHING to do with womens mate choice.

 

For starters racist ideas about interracial dating are very pervasive. They even play a role in American politics.

 

.

 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15403071/ns/politics/t/tennessee-ad-ignites-internal-gop-squabbling/#.TrlezEMg_UA

 

 

In the ad, a young white actress playing the stereotype of a “dumb blonde” talks about meeting Ford, a 36-year-old bachelor who is black, “at the Playboy party.” At the end of the ad, she winks and says to the camera, “Harold — call me.”

The ad brought immediate criticism from the Ford campaign and the NAACP, whose Washington office called it “a powerful innuendo that plays to pre-existing prejudices about African-American men and white women.”

 

 

Emprically speaking lets not forget we humans are all just like every other primate in a number of ways*. That certain males have a higher social stauts and get more mating rights with the females is well established in all species of great ape.

 

This is a behavior that we engage in without realizing it in the heat of the moment. When we have to react and don't have time to logically reason things out. It is a dark and distasteful un PC behavior that we don't like to admit to but it is there.

[monkey00]

In my experience, there's two types of white girls who will date Asian men:

Type 1) Loves Asian culture. Loves sushi, karaoke, kimchi, and Asian men in general. This kind of white woman is rare, but less so than before with the emergence of Asians in mainstream media. This type of woman will pretty much pick YOU over a white guy.

 

I have mixed feelings about this. There are women who are fascinated about other cultures but it doesn't imply they only like the race related to that culture. Trust me I've gone out with these types, who either A) have lived in an asian country B) know a little bit of the language or C) like asian food. At the end of the day they can be like any other girl and not be interested in you.

 

Type 2) An open minded girl. Usually liberal. Maybe artsy, Ivy educated. She is not into Asian men in particular per se, but is open to the idea of dating them, just because, well, she is open minded. Example: When you come to NYC, the chances of you meeting a white woman who will date an Asian man are much better in hipster Williamsburg than in the Upper East Side frat/sorority scene. Liberal = open minded = Asian men. In general.

 

I've encountered conservative girls who are open minded and into asian guys which is fine too. Personally I find these 'liberal' girls to be a waste of dating time because they just like meeting new people or making new friends to become cultured, but at the end of the day they are pretentious and have little interest in dating outside their race. I'm sure there are liberal ones that are truly interested but I notice the former is more common.

 

Honestly though if you're willing to take race out of the equation, dating shouldn't even be an issue at all. America is a melting pot and it's only a matter of time when we'll all be the same color here.

 

To the OP, what do you think of your friend's theory? Are you looking to date outside your race or a better understanding of interracial dating?

[futuregopher]

monkey00 - I don't discriminate when dating. White, yellow, black, purple; doesn't make a difference for me. To me, race has no influence on who I want to date as it's all about appearance and personality.

 

I'm just looking for a better understanding. I always take what he says with a grain of salt because I know he is a bit radical in his views of dating and racial relations. He says to stay within dating asian women because that's my race and I'll have to do less "work" to get rid of the social race disadvantage which would happen if I try for a white woman.

[jobaba]

I have mixed feelings about this. There are women who are fascinated about other cultures but it doesn't imply they only like the race related to that culture. Trust me I've gone out with these types, who either A) have lived in an asian country B) know a little bit of the language or C) like asian food. At the end of the day they can be like any other girl and not be interested in you.

 

I've encountered conservative girls who are open minded and into asian guys which is fine too. Personally I find these 'liberal' girls to be a waste of dating time because they just like meeting new people or making new friends to become cultured, but at the end of the day they are pretentious and have little interest in dating outside their race. I'm sure there are liberal ones that are truly interested but I notice the former is more common.

 

Honestly though if you're willing to take race out of the equation, dating shouldn't even be an issue at all. America is a melting pot and it's only a matter of time when we'll all be the same color here.

 

1) Not every woman who gets sushi is going to hop in the sack with Mr. Miyagi. True. But there are a subset of non-Asian girls who love the culture and subsequently are attracted to the men. Trust me on this one. I know first hand.

 

2) It's a generalization. But if you live in NY, tell me, where would you have the best chance of seeing a white girl with an Asian guy. At a punk rock show in Williamsburg or at Coyote Ugly?

 

3) Dare to dream...

[jobaba]

I'm just looking for a better understanding. I always take what he says with a grain of salt because I know he is a bit radical in his views of dating and racial relations. He says to stay within dating asian women because that's my race and I'll have to do less "work" to get rid of the social race disadvantage which would happen if I try for a white woman.

 

I didn't say stay with Asian women. I said that's what my friends have largely done.

 

Just know that getting white women in NYC is rough.

 

If you think you can meet 5 random white women and 5 random Asian women in NYC and have an equal chance at the white women based on your looks and personality, then you are a bit naive.

 

Either way, if you're moving here, you'll see what I mean.

[insertnamehere]

To the OP: So, you're saying that actors like John Cho or Ken Watanabe have never been propositioned by a single white chick?

 

Bull****.

 

And before you counter, remember you said "NEVER" in CAPS. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof.

[The Way I Am]

There's one thing I can be certain of. If an Asian man believes all that BS, white women aren't going to want to date him -- nor many other women for that matter. If you stop looking at people as their race and instead as who they are, you'll have a lot more success.

 

As an attractive white female, I guess I'll have to get in my time machine and un-date the 2 Asian men I've dated, because they didn't have "VERY HIGH social status".

 

Also, I must have hallucinated the white model girlfriend of another Asian man I liked. I know I saw them together and saw her on a modeling reality show, but they couldn't have really been dating since he was merely a low-level engineer not a hedge fund manager.

 

Even if the majority of white women or women in general won't date Asian men, the old adage still holds true: "You don't need the majority. You only need one."

[Wolf18]

It's true that most white women aren't going to date an Asian no matter what. I don't understand why they're so averse to them either, but what is really outrageous is Asian women who refuse to date Asian males (it's very common), trying to figure out why is a waste of time just chalk it up as another stupid woman quirk.

 

However, I find a lot of women in NYC will date the ugliest men of another race just for the novelty or to show the world how she's not racist LOL. That buzz word "racist" has a lot of power and women in particular are susceptible to being manipulated by it.

 

Being a white male is pretty much worthless if you're not muscular/extremely good looking. In fact I would say the standards for being considered good looking for white people are much higher than they are for non-whites. To white women these days I'm pretty much invisible, yet sometimse indian, asian, etc girls I catch checking me out.

[dasein]

Have noticed the problem OP talks about and wondered about it, white men seem to have no problem pursuing women of Asian ethnicity. No idea why white women seem to be less attracted to ethnically Asian men. Have hardly ever seen Asian guy/white girl pairings, and have been around.

[aj22one]

To white women these days I'm pretty much invisible, yet sometimse indian, asian, etc girls I catch checking me out.

 

Dude, if I were single that would be my dream come true.

[EasyHeart]

The premise of this thread is ridiculous. Attraction is a combination of many things and varies from person to person. Asserting that white (or black or asian) women will never date asian (or any other race or ethnicity) is absolutely wrong.

 

Whenever I hear people make broad assertions like this, it strikes me as an excuse to avoid the real problem: It's not that women aren't attracted to men of your race, it's that women aren't attracted to YOU.

 

Make yourself more attractive and you'll have your choice of whatever women you want.

[Zed]

He is bitter because he wants to date white girls and he's not getting as much play as he thinks he should. Some of his muddled ideas have merit because there is a social and racial hierarchy in America in which White men and women are at the top and Blacks are on the bottom. Of course you see more Black men then usual in relationships with white women, but all you have to do is look at the quality and ask yourself would you have dated that white girl. In addition the actual percentages that take the relationship to marriage are 1% (for white women), that is exceedingly and stupidly small to even begin to extrapolate that there is some major interracial trend.

 

When push comes to shove, White people stay within their ethnicity and strongly prefer whites at the exclusion of everyone else. The only exception as noted on this thread is that White men and Asian Women are the most numerous pairing because White men are still seen globally as the average, the norm, and the one who is socially at the top. For whatever the reason, Asian women in turn are not averse to White men and are far more likely to be receptive to White men advances the exclusion of other races. So if your friend likes Asian women, he has an uphill battle that he may not even win.

 

In terms of his belief that Black women only date thugs--again that is his rationale he uses (and is old and tired) to reject Black women so that he can go after his true target--white women. Black women are still economically disadvantaged compared to the rest of the population, despite their non-STEM degrees, and Black women are unusual in that they tend to marry down not up--the whole hypergamy theory gets shot to sh*t when applied to black women. So of course the guys they choose will probably be blue collar or even thugs. However due to the proliferation of threads on this board of "why women don give nice guys a chance" to "why women choose rakes and losers" black women are hardly unique in this regard of choosing "thugs" and "bad boys" compared to other races.

 

As an Asian men—you have options. There is a very real anti-Asian stigma, but if you decent looking, socially aware, are solvent, and an interesting person, other races do date Asian men. Also everything globally is shifting to the east, so in 10-20 years, Asian men are going to continue to look more attractive. Lastly, stats show that Asian men strongly prefer their own, and if they do date/marry out, it is usually another Asian ethnicity, White and/or White Latina. So if you are looking to date out and you live in a metropolitan area that has a decent Asian American community, you really should not have any problems.

 

Bottom line. Go out. Date who and what you want. As an Asian guy--you have options.

[Wolf18]

Dude, if I were single that would be my dream come true.

 

 

Don't get me wrong there are some indian chicks that are attractive and I actually find their culture fascinating (Bhagavad Gita is an inspiring book), but there are just too many hurdles to interracial dating and it's rarely worth the effort.

 

No matter how nice and intelligent an Indian girl can be, I'm still always going to have more in common and better understanding with a lower-middle class white girl.

[Wolf18]

The premise of this thread is ridiculous. Attraction is a combination of many things and varies from person to person. Asserting that white (or black or asian) women will never date asian (or any other race or ethnicity) is absolutely wrong.

 

Whenever I hear people make broad assertions like this, it strikes me as an excuse to avoid the real problem: It's not that women aren't attracted to men of your race, it's that women aren't attracted to YOU.

 

Make yourself more attractive and you'll have your choice of whatever women you want.

 

 

Pretending that it isn't an issue won't make it so. Perhaps if he takes into consideration the very fact that a white-female dating an Asian male is extremely rare, he can avoid wasting time or getting used.

[aj22one]

Don't get me wrong there are some indian chicks that are attractive and I actually find their culture fascinating (Bhagavad Gita is an inspiring book), but there are just too many hurdles to interracial dating and it's rarely worth the effort.

 

No matter how nice and intelligent an Indian girl can be, I'm still always going to have more in common and better understanding with a lower-middle class white girl.

 

Well you could give dating one of them a try. My girlfriend is Pakistani and sure there are some differences from time to time (even though she's pretty open minded) but it's still worth it.

[futuregopher]

To the OP: So, you're saying that actors like John Cho or Ken Watanabe have never been propositioned by a single white chick?

 

Bull****.

 

And before you counter, remember you said "NEVER" in CAPS. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof.

 

Okay you got me on this one. I showed my friend and he called me out on it too. I should change the title to "White women will ALMOST NEVER date an asian guy".

[fishtaco]

My experience is different from jobaba's.

 

I found that Asian and mixed Asian women are the toughest to date. They simply aren't interested in dating Asian men. Now I'm talking about Americanized Asian women (yes I know LS is world-wide, but I'm in California, so I can only talk about what I know). The very "Asian" Asian women do date Asian men, but they would not date me either... I'm too white if they're looking for an Asian boyfriend, and I'm too Asian if they're looking for a white boyfriend.

 

So I did what made sense... I stopped barking up the wrong tree and started dating non Asians.

 

I like to use sports teams as analogy. When you watch local TV, you only watch your local sports team. So you tend to be a fan of your local sports team. But once you get the sports package on cable TV, and you can watch every single game from everywhere, then you start to root for whichever team you happen to like.

 

So right now, Hispanic women are my favorite. About half the women I've dated are Latinas. I say right now because it could change. I used to like black women. Who knows what will be next. Maybe I'll start going after Asian women even.

 

So like I mentioned before. Either I'm one of the best Asian male daters out there, and I'm doing the impossible because I'm such a hot guy, or it's actually not all that difficult for Asian men to date interracially. Asian men just need to wake up and smell the coffee, and subscribe to the sports package.

[crosswordfiend]

Type 2) An open minded girl. Usually liberal. Maybe artsy, Ivy educated. She is not into Asian men in particular per se, but is open to the idea of dating them, just because, well, she is open minded. Example: When you come to NYC, the chances of you meeting a white woman who will date an Asian man are much better in hipster Williamsburg than in the Upper East Side frat/sorority scene. Liberal = open minded = Asian men. In general.

 

I think this observation is spot-on and applies equally well in Toronto where I live.

 

In a generation when sociologists start seriously studying the offspring of these Asian/White couples, I believe the most important factor in understanding the child will be whether mom was Asian (think tiger mother) or mom was White (artsy hipster).

[Sanman]

I think some valid points have been made here. In my experience, a good portion of people (Caucasian or otherwise) prefer to date within their own ethnicity. I find this tendency more in the women I have met than the men. Most people are comfortable with what they grew up around. Thus, you may have more luck in places like California or NYC if the person grew up around a large Asian population. The problem I have always encountered is that, as a non-Caucasian male, the Caucasian women that are interested in me are often not as attractive or accomplished as the women on my own ethnicity that are interested in me. For example, I generally attract average looking Caucasian women who are working on finishing college in their mid-twenties or working in sales, etc. In contrast, I get lots of interest from average women of my ethnicity who are also doctors, lawyers, hedge fund managers, etc. The last one I met prior to my gf made 500k. I also get really good looking women of my ethnicity with less education (teachers, social workers, sales, etc). The issue for me becomes that I find less reason to date Caucasian women because of the type of women that I can get of my own ethnicity. What fish taco alluded to regarding being stuck between being too American and too Asian has held true for me as well. However, I have found a similar mix in my gf and am quite happy with that. I think you can find what you want, it just takes more looking than if you were Caucasian.

[musemaj11]

Im technically an Asian (the brown, big eyes and tall kind). However, I have to admit it myself that Asian men in general are physically a lot less attractive than other men.