smudge21 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 As the title suggests, a friend (a good real friend, not just an FB one) has added the ex onto his Facebook. He hasn't mentioned it to me but I've seen it. At the moment I'm just waiting to see if he brings it up, but I can't for the life of me work out why they would suddenly be chatting. I've been NC for a long time and the last thing I need is this (we have other mutual friends, but they are just FB "friends") as I don't want to see or hear about her. Do I question him out right or just wait for him to tell me... and what if he doesn't. Obviously, the brain is doing the usual thing of throwing around loads of reasons, not all of them good. Link to post Share on other sites
Death Punch Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 I would just ask and if the friendship is strong enough, it will hold. Not much to lose here. If you can, please reply to my post. I have zero feedback from people. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t305597/ Link to post Share on other sites
broken-and-lost Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Hey Smudge If he is a close friend you should ask him and also let him know that it effects you still. It's a bit insensitive of him if he knows your story m8. Did you send the card in the end or did you leave it my ex's b-day in 3 weeks time i'm still deciding Hope your well, but i would defo have a word m8 if your close if he's just some guy you know rarely hang with i'd leave it Link to post Share on other sites
Author smudge21 Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 Thanks mate. No didn't send a card and didn't give it a second thought. I think by not sending one it closed another door - her birthday - and that's a good thing. By sending one for one birthday, you then get into the pattern of making contact for all events, but then you never move on. I just feel that by asking him, it shows that I've been still thinking about her and if he is in communication with her (possibly about me) I'd rather that not get back to her. I'd rather he just tell me... but the longer it goes on without him saying anything, the more I'm starting to distrust him. I don't know... Link to post Share on other sites
broken-and-lost Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 I can see why you would be thinking along the lines of distrusting him, it really depends if he is talking to her or whether it's a case of you accepted someone you kinda know but you have no intention of speaking to them, I accept people on facebook i kinda know but won't be speaking to. If he's a good friend tho he shouldn't have accepted it if he knows what you went or are going through. I can see what you mean about talking to him you don't want your ex thinking it still bothers you i get that, but if your close and it's going to put doubts on your friendship i'd have to mention it even it it was to say to him i see your friends with the ex on facebook do me a favour don't tell me anything in regards to her and if she asks please also don't mention anything i'm upto but i don't have issues with you guys being friends. I can see why you didn't send the card and your probably right about leaving doors open which will effect moving on, I know i need to do that myself really. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smudge21 Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 Cheers for that response mate - think you nailed it on how I'm feeling over this. Think I'll give it a few more days, see if anything is said. Who knows, by then I may no longer care and so it won't bother me. It could just be the shock of seeing her name pop up after so long. I would recommend not sending a card. Despite everything you can tell yourself, the real reason is always because you want a reaction from the ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts