What would YOU do?

[amish]

Okay, so the quick story is my W left me about 3 1/2 months ago and took our son about 100 miles away. Anyway, she called today to notify me that our medical insurance wouldn't cover the (MANY) dr visits she has had in that 3 1/2 months (for her and our son). She never bothered to check. Anyway, there are about $300 in bills for our son which she wants me to help with. I don't really have a problem with that (well financially I do) but I'm just a little steamed that she has left, is breaking my heart, didn't bother to check on the insurance, and now wants me to pay her even MORE money. I am paying the appropriate amount of child supportxx based on my income vs. hers (ZERO) and part of me feels that that is what the support is for (medical/food/clothing/housing). Plus, if she had taken the time to figure out whether or not they are covered that far north I could have removed them from my policy and not had to pay the extra $300 per month for their (useless!) coverage. She had no plan when she left, didn't understand what the ramifications would be, and this is just another in a long line of things she didn't consider before she left that I am now having to pay for. Why is it my responsibility to bail her out every time something else falls through? Am I just being a bitter a-hole?

[KirkCamp]

While I am sorry you were left, the most important thing is to do right by your child and for the both of you to set a good example that way for your son. True, she might not have had the best laid out plans but it happens. I would guess the best thing to do is get the number for the doctor so you can call directly and set up payments, etc. having them mail you the receipts to whatever address you choose. Not sure if a lawyer has to be involved in this but it doesn't hurt to be prepared for that possibility. I was left myself, just with no children involved so I can relate - I paid for my ex - wife's medication for panic atacks for about 6 months afterwards. Everyone thought I was crazy since it wasn't required by the divorce agreement but I have never regretted my decision for one second.

 

Hopefully you both can talk about things like adults - this split might seem like it has only hurt you but it no doubt has not helped her out any either, just remember that. Is there a reason she's not working that is legitimate or ? Just curious, obviously it isn't a ssubject to bring up with her. Keep with what you are scheduled to pay, look into the doctor bills, if eh gets defensive let her know you're only doing that so if there is a question about it later you don't want things to be more confusing that they should be and / or more painful for the both of you in the long run. Also, find out the number for the insurance company to see if there's a way they can be covered possibly, wherever they're at. Try to reach a compromise, be a good man regardless of what's happened and it will all work out somehow. A man without responsibility can never be a full man, in my opinion - do the right thing, dude, someone upstairs is watching all of us .