LynnieBear Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 I'm not capable of liking anyone else, ever again. I have met the one guy on the planet I only care to be with and it will stay that way. If I can't have him, I don't want anyone. I never want to fall in love with anyone ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Ok, so what's the issue? You know you can't have the guy and you've come to this decision. So where to from here? Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 So what are you complaining about? Even if I met my ideal woman today, I doubt I have enough romance in me to really fall in love with her. She should have showed up when I was in my late teens and early twenties, when I really needed a female best friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LynnieBear Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 Well, my ideal man did show up in my early twenties... I'll probably never meet another. Link to post Share on other sites
Floridaman Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Well, my ideal man did show up in my early twenties... I'll probably never meet another. What happened? Why didn't that one work out? Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I'm sorry, but meeting a guy in class who never dated you or showed any interest in you, spending months texting, emailing, stalking and obsessing over him does not really qualify as "falling in love" for adults. Though I am perfectly ready to accept that for you, it was as close as you'll get. Too bad for you. Enjoy your wonderful memories of … texting a guy you barely know. Link to post Share on other sites
lostcharm Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 This thinking is quite immature. It's more impossible to never like anyone else in your lifetime than to go on wanting to be with someone else. You can either choose to keep yourself miserable or look for someone that will actually love you in return Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 What happened? Why didn't that one work out? I'm thinking she means this guy she's obsessed with right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Floridaman Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 She needs to consider other guys, as many recommend, or she may end up as "just another girl on the shelf..." as this great song from a San Fransisco group tells. Laugh, Laugh - The Beau Brummels (1966) "...You thought you were too good you had a lot of nerve Won't say I'm sorry for the things I said I'm glad he packed up to go You kept on bragging he was yours instead you found you don't know everything there is to know. Before I go I'd like to say one thing Don't close your ears to me Take my advice and you'll find out that being just another girl won't cause you misery You say you can get any boy to call Don't be so smug or else You'll find you can't get any boy at all You'll wind up an old lady sitting on the shelf.... ..Laugh, laugh, I thought I'd die, it seemed so funny to me. Laugh, laugh, you met a guy who taught you how it feels to be... lonely, oh so lonely..." Not that the OP is a cheater, like the girl in the great song, but look at her only holdin' out for one particular guy.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author LynnieBear Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 So let me get this straight... I "have" to like or be interested in other guys? Have to, huh? It's okay that the guy I'm interested, has no feelings for me, but the fact that I have no feelings for anyone else I currently know, is not okay? Is there a double standard going on much here? In fact, there may be a couple of guys that I find cute, other than my current crush, but the fact is, I'm not emotionally or mentally or physically attached or attracted to these men. I have a bond, a friendship, a close interaction with this man that I love and nothing will change that. I do not believe we tell our hearts what to feel. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyravenloft Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 There is a BIG difference between loving someone and being obsessed with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LynnieBear Posted November 12, 2011 Author Share Posted November 12, 2011 There is a BIG difference between loving someone and being obsessed with them. Good thing my feelings fall under the former. Link to post Share on other sites
KR10N Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I swear I've heard this song before. OP, your bond w/ this person is only a friendship. If he's really a player like you've stated once before, he would have hit that ass a long time ago. The only reason you feel the way you do is because you're so close to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LynnieBear Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 I swear I've heard this song before. OP, your bond w/ this person is only a friendship. If he's really a player like you've stated once before, he would have hit that ass a long time ago. The only reason you feel the way you do is because you're so close to him. That's my point and something I've stated in another thread. Had I not told him I liked him so soon, he probably WOULD have "hit that ..." as you so politely put it. The fact that he was a good enough friend to respect my feelings and not take advantage of me, makes him a good friend. You don't need to repeat yourself... everything everyone has said... I get it. It doesn't change how I feel or the fact that I'm physically and emotionally attached and attracted to him. His feelings and the rest of you ramming all this harsh information down my throat, is not going to change anything. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 So let me get this straight... I "have" to like or be interested in other guys? Have to, huh? It's okay that the guy I'm interested, has no feelings for me, but the fact that I have no feelings for anyone else I currently know, is not okay? Is there a double standard going on much here? In fact, there may be a couple of guys that I find cute, other than my current crush, but the fact is, I'm not emotionally or mentally or physically attached or attracted to these men. I have a bond, a friendship, a close interaction with this man that I love and nothing will change that. I do not believe we tell our hearts what to feel. It's not that it's not ok DG27, it's that it's unhealthy. You choose whether or not you move on or not, and you've chosen NOT to. Is that okay? Apparantly it is for you. It wouldn't be okay for those that are more emotionally mature or more emotionally healthy than you. It's all about choices. You can choose to remain stuck, or choose to move forward. You've chosen to remain stuck. That's your choice. Since it's your choice, live with it. Stay stuck, remain in limbo, accept your choice. Link to post Share on other sites
KR10N Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 That's my point and something I've stated in another thread. Had I not told him I liked him so soon, he probably WOULD have "hit that ..." as you so politely put it. The fact that he was a good enough friend to respect my feelings and not take advantage of me, makes him a good friend. You don't need to repeat yourself... everything everyone has said... I get it. It doesn't change how I feel or the fact that I'm physically and emotionally attached and attracted to him. His feelings and the rest of you ramming all this harsh information down my throat, is not going to change anything.I wasn't ramming any harsh info down your throat. I'm just telling it like it is. I guess all your advice is golden, eh? Link to post Share on other sites
Floridaman Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Lynnie, This song better illustrates your situation. Ladies and gentlemen, now playing on the turntable in Fla. Man's utlimate rock and roll oldies show: Flirtations. Nothing But a Heartache. 1970. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39SjyMvBbk4 LYRICS: Nothing but a heartache every day Nothing but a tear drop all of the way It's one situation that I just can't win, yeah He's got me, O why can't I get him? I got a lotta those heartaches I got a lotta those tear drops Heartaches, tear drops, all of the way Him loving me is just too slim, yeah He's got me, O why can't I get him? Heartache, ooh I get em, every every day Tears pouring all down my face Ooh, the man has got me, so uptight! Nothin' I do, seem to turn out right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LynnieBear Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 Lynnie, This song better illustrates your situation. Ladies and gentlemen, now playing on the turntable in Fla. Man's utlimate rock and roll oldies show: Flirtations. Nothing But a Heartache. 1970. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39SjyMvBbk4 LYRICS: Nothing but a heartache every day Nothing but a tear drop all of the way It's one situation that I just can't win, yeah He's got me, O why can't I get him? I got a lotta those heartaches I got a lotta those tear drops Heartaches, tear drops, all of the way Him loving me is just too slim, yeah He's got me, O why can't I get him? Heartache, ooh I get em, every every day Tears pouring all down my face Ooh, the man has got me, so uptight! Nothin' I do, seem to turn out right. thanks FloridaMan Link to post Share on other sites
Floridaman Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Lynnie, Posting this in the thread. Tried to email you but you've closed your email address. You got upset with something I told you in the email, though it was what others in these threads also told you. Felt funny writing that one last line and almost edited it out, but unfortunately, left it in. People sometimes say the wrong things. What would YOU advise someone close to you, a relative or close friend, who only had eyes for a certain person, yet that person showed absolutely zero interest in pursuing a relationship? Would you recommend they "hold out hope" for years on end, putting their own life "on hold" in case that person changes his/her mind? Or move on and try to find a real relationship with someone who values that person and shares the same interests and romantic views? Challenge you to look at this from a neutral or independent perspective. Take an objective look at what you're doing in terms of dating. You don't want to waste your life on one guy. Please try to move on. Don't do it because I or anyone else recommended it, do it for yourself and your sanity. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMagicBullet Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 LynnieBear, Pretty much everyone has been or will one day be in the place where you are now: having feelings for someone that go unrequited. It sucks. I know, because I've been there... more than once! I had a horrible infatuation with a man a long time ago at about the same age you are now. It took a long time to get over him, and I hate to say it, but I moved 1000+ miles away to help me get on with my life. But eventually, those intense feelings faded, and I found plenty of other men I was attracted to. Right now it may feel like you'll never love anyone else, but feelings change. Sometimes very slowly, but they change. Give yourself some time to heal, give yourself some distance from this man to let it happen, and don't let your sadness get in the way of living your life and making it a good one. And don't keep telling yourself you'll never love anyone else -- there's no use in making today's unhappiness tomorrow's self-fulfilling prophecy! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts