CookieCrisp Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I guess this is the right forum but I am not sure.... So I've been asking my girlfriend to be honest with me a lot. Looking into my eyes and promising me she won't hide stuff from me or lie about things, recently she has reconnected with a boy she had a fling with in the past and has been talking constantly and hung out with him recently and ignored my calls/texts while she was there. Things have been shaky lately so long story short I did what she never wants me to do and looked at her text messages. She has been lying about seeing him, she saw him when she said she didnt, she tells him he makes her happy and she is happy he is thinking about her, he's asked her out for dinner and a movie and she's all for it, he doesn't like me, and she's lied about most of it. I confronted her and she spun it around on me. She says she wants to be with me and she loves me and this guy is just a friend. Did I over step my bounds by going in her phone? She has daddy issues so I don't want to be harsh on her. What to do what to do.... I'm 26 and she's 21 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I guess this is the right forum but I am not sure.... So I've been asking my girlfriend to be honest with me a lot. Looking into my eyes and promising me she won't hide stuff from me or lie about things, recently she has reconnected with a boy she had a fling with in the past and has been talking constantly and hung out with him recently and ignored my calls/texts while she was there. Things have been shaky lately so long story short I did what she never wants me to do and looked at her text messages. She has been lying about seeing him, she saw him when she said she didnt, she tells him he makes her happy and she is happy he is thinking about her, he's asked her out for dinner and a movie and she's all for it, he doesn't like me, and she's lied about most of it. I confronted her and she spun it around on me. She says she wants to be with me and she loves me and this guy is just a friend. Did I over step my bounds by going in her phone? She has daddy issues so I don't want to be harsh on her. What to do what to do.... I'm 26 and she's 21 Nope, you did not invade her privacy. You invaded her secrecy!. Your gut told you something was not right and you proved it. Now don't listen to another word out of her mouth and dump her...and get yourself tested for STD's....your GF lied to you...so don't assume she hasn't had sex with the guy...she most likely has... You did nothing wrong.....if she had nothing to hide then she would not have given you reason to look at her stuff...and it was a good thing you did. GET RID OF HER! Link to post Share on other sites
RiverRunning Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Reconnecting with an old flame - red flag. He doesn't like you - red flag. He invites her out to see dinner and a movie and shows no regard for the fact that she's taken - red flag. The fact alone that he's an old fling is a red flag. I get that there are people who advocate the 'friends with exes' nonsense, but let's be real here - probably 9 times out of 10, it's because someone still has feelings for the ex, or they want to get back with the ex. You're now dealing with the fall-out of the "we're just friends" lie - she's going to string you along because for some reason she doesn't have the guts to get rid of you. Or maybe she's selfish and she just wants both of you. She's very young and clearly this guy isn't part of her past. It's time to dump her. She was giving off so many red flags that it was time for you to get clarification. Well, now you know she's not being honest. Time to bail. This is another example of things people should look out for. If your guy or gal is reconnecting with an ex, leave to spare yourself the trouble that arises the vast majority of the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 If the roles were reversed do you think she would be accepting as you have been? Sorry but she is playing you for a fool. She does not respect your relationship. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 You refer to her as "girlfriend" so I'll assume your not married. Do you have kids together? If not, why would you even consider staying with a women who treats you like a chump and expects you to stand by, probably paying the bills, while she lines up her next meal-ticket/fu*k buddy. There are lots of girls out there looking for a good man so dump her and go grab one. Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 If she's doing things with another dude behind your back, then lying about it, then she's cheating on you. Ray Charles can see this. If you let her get away with it, she will do it again. I PROMISE you that. You deserve better. She needs to go by by. Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Reconnecting with an old flame - red flag. He doesn't like you - red flag. He invites her out to see dinner and a movie and shows no regard for the fact that she's taken - red flag. The fact alone that he's an old fling is a red flag. I get that there are people who advocate the 'friends with exes' nonsense, but let's be real here - probably 9 times out of 10, it's because someone still has feelings for the ex, or they want to get back with the ex. You're now dealing with the fall-out of the "we're just friends" lie - she's going to string you along because for some reason she doesn't have the guts to get rid of you. Or maybe she's selfish and she just wants both of you. She's very young and clearly this guy isn't part of her past. It's time to dump her. She was giving off so many red flags that it was time for you to get clarification. Well, now you know she's not being honest. Time to bail. This is another example of things people should look out for. If your guy or gal is reconnecting with an ex, leave to spare yourself the trouble that arises the vast majority of the time. If ANYONE out there has a significant other who "reconnects" with an old flame. NOTHING good will come of it. As soon as you find out, you need to give your significant other the "it's them or me" speech. Then back it up and do not back down. Link to post Share on other sites
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