Stun Posted May 22, 2004 Share Posted May 22, 2004 My big problem is that i'm shy. I've never asked a girl out, they've always asked me. My last break up really hit me hard, and i decided not to have a relationship for a while. Now I can't seem to get "back in the saddle". Like I said, really shy. A lot of girls that I would have liked to hook up with i'm now friends with. They all tell me i'm boyfriend material. I don't even want to be with any of them intimately anymore. It'd feel wierd. But still, the problem is initially approaching a girl and getting her to like me before I end up in that "friend zone". Any words of advice? ~Stun Link to post Share on other sites
LILUIL Posted May 22, 2004 Share Posted May 22, 2004 it looks to me that you are not completely whole as a person, no offence, but the next one you meet you do wanna give your best and hope that it works out, right. work on yourself first. i dont think shy is the main situation, can i say confidence is? it has to come from inside. read books on self help, put energy into passions and hobbies, love will find a way. you have to love life, love living and dream dreams. love will come by itself. Link to post Share on other sites
AfriendAllie Posted May 22, 2004 Share Posted May 22, 2004 Stun, All I can say is that the person above me said it all. I will however add to just be calm. read books on relaxation. Don't pressure yourself to ask these girls out. Simply be friends first... Link to post Share on other sites
average guy Posted May 22, 2004 Share Posted May 22, 2004 I may be old fashioned, but what is wrong with becoming friends before becoming lovers? There is nothing wrong with being great friends with someone and then going into a sexual relationship with them. Are you just looking to meet someone to jump straight into the sack with before you know if you are cpable of being friends? I think friendship is the main ingredient in a successful relationship! Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
alan Posted May 22, 2004 Share Posted May 22, 2004 i,ve got a problem people,well theres this girl.i mean my mates girlfriend shes been flurtin with me all week now and its killing me i just want to be with her shes realy good looking and all that >for example my mate and her was argueing the other day and she brushed past me on the way up the stairs and nodded asif to say <>follow me i wish i did now cos my mate saw her looking at me in the flurty way you know and now were not talkin im not obsessed or nothing but if i half to kill the ****er for getting in the way well hen i will reply Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stun Posted May 25, 2004 Author Share Posted May 25, 2004 I understand what you're all saying. All valid points as well. I know that I do lack confidence. With that exception, i don't really think that I need to develop myself. I know who I am, and what I stand for. I have no problem with being friends first, rather I prefer it. I'd rather know someone before jumping into an intimate relationship. The confidence part is basically due to lack of experience. I've never approached a girl; It's always been the other way around. That's why i'm kinda lost. I'm just more of an introvert. Once I've met someone and get a feel for them there's no trouble at all. It's just going up and talking to them for the first time. And Alan, it's mostly a matter of what's more important to you. Your friendship, or his girlfriend. If you want to throw away your friendship to be with a girl where there's no guarantee it will last, then go for it. Remember though, if you end up with her she might do the same thing with another one of your friends. Link to post Share on other sites
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