sunflower11 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Well yesterday was his birthday and I didn't text or call. I guess somehow I thought he might. Since he broke up with me on sept 23, i've been the one calling him and texting him and begging and crying and he has never been one to initiate contact. Today marks my 9 days of NC and I am struggling. Just want some words of encouragement because the pain i feel in my chest is like burning away..i spent all morning crying in bed remembering the good times, wondering if he thought about me yesterday or how he celebrated his bday, when he first told me he loved me, the last time i saw him when i went to visit, etc. Sigh...just want some words of support I guess..I am not breaking NC I just want to hear that the pain will go away..that I will be happy again someday and I won't think about him please. Link to post Share on other sites
Popehappycat Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Request denied. You are now having a good day. Carry on. Link to post Share on other sites
RIO5 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Unless you meant absolutely nothing to him, he was thinking about you. The reason why he doesnt initiate contact is because he knows you will do it first. Give him a reason that you are walking out of his life for good and his attitude will change. My personal belief with NC is that its a lot easier once you reach a point of being sick and tired of their BS. Once I told my ex that I had enough of you and Im moving on with my life...NC was a walk in the park! Look, a lot of people have been in your shoes before. Beating yourself up about what happen between you and him will get you nowhere in life. The present and the future are a beautiful thing, so try to take a second and embrace it. I would not give my ex the pleasure of me crying over her because I know she wouldnt be doing the same thing. Why want someone who doesnt want you back? Look at what your ex is doing: if he is not calling you, if he is not texting you, if he is not missing you...maybe you should be doing the same thing. In life, you just gotta stand up and draw a line. If I hear the words 'I do not want to be with you', I simply take a second to myself...man up and walk away. Its a waste of time to try to 'win' someone back when I know there is someone out there who has a very high interest level in me. Your time will come again! Let your emotions run their course but one day...this storm will pass and hopefully, you can look back at all of this and laugh. I know I did! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflower11 Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 Thank you I know..it's just...he never said 'I dont want to be with you'...he broke up with me cause he wanted space cause he is depressed and 2 weeks after the break up when we talked on the phone for the last time he said he loved me and he said he would text me and he said it wasnt 'over forever'. he was crying on the phone saying he wasnt himself and he felt so bad for hurting me and breaking my heart. I guess last night I spoke with a friend who said she has had really bad depression before and she told me he wasnt himself when he just..ignored me. she says its really bad and you dont think clearly..she kept telling me he didnt mean to be cold and ignore me and i shouldnt take it personally?..so now I dont know what to think...i never really got closure because he said ill text you next week and that was a month ago and he never did but he sounded sooo sincere on the phone when he said he loved me and he said he was sorry he was doing this to me, he just couldnt be a good boyfriend right now.. Sighh Idk I have soo much anxiety today and i guess he didnt have to just say 'its over'..just deep down in my heart i know he loves me...i just..want to move on i really do i want to let it go but its soo hard because when we didnt break up because we were not in love, or he cheated, or anything... Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflower11 Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 I know he doesnt need to tell me that he doesnt want me and that actions speak louder than words...im just ..trying to say how much doubt i have now It was easy to think he is an ******* and he ignored and and i deserve better. but now im thinking that hes mentally..ill..and wondering if im being unfair and should have understood better? Link to post Share on other sites
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