Issues with coworker

[binny]

The other day I had a performance review with my manager and he asked if I had any issues with the team I work with. I tried to be as honest as possible, without shooting myself in the foot and mentioned that with one particular colleague, let's call him S, I find it hard to communicate and deal with him (he has poor communication skills and this is well known by everyone including my manager). My manager then said that he got the feeling that S has an issue with me, but he cannot understand what it is. My manager was pleased that I acknowledged and understood that there there an issue. My manager tried talking to S, but he was adamant that he had no issue, even though my manager clearly sees that there is an issue. From my managers point of view, it's one of 2 things, it's either a cultural thing where he is not comfortable/doesn't respect working with a female (S comes from a different cultural background than me) or he doesn't respect me as I have less experience than him. This issue became evident when the team leader went on vacation for 2 weeks and I was the one covering for him and not S, despite being less experienced than S. My manager then asked what I thought could be the reason he has this issue with me.

 

I have worked in countries and amongst people who have had cultural issues with working with females. I have also had the opportunity to work with people from many different countries and cultures. In the past, I have not had a problem with people who come from the same country as S and have the same cultural background as him. So I was open with my manager and said that and added that my gut feeling is that it may be due to the fact that I have less experience than him.

 

To give some background to S, my manager describes him as "special" and "different". He is very bizarre, and the things he does just don't make any sense. I could describe some of the things he does, but I think he is one of those people that without knowing, it's not possible to fully understand just how "special" he is.

 

Has anyone experienced these kinds of issues? Any advice on how to figure out whether it is because of experience or cultural and how to overcome it would also be much appreciated.

[whichwayisup]

But is he getting 'special and different' treatment because of his culture? If so, that's not fair.

[binny]

I don't feel as though he gets special treatment because of his culture, perhaps my feelings may change in future. To a certain extent, he does get treated differently, but it's not because of his culture, it's because of his personality. My manager occasionally talks to him in a harsh way, which is rarely the way he talks to the rest of the team because R just doesn't listen/does his own thing.

 

My manager, along with the rest of the department get extremely frustrated with him because of some of the things he does. For example, I heard today that he got a talking to by the managers the other day for spending an entire weekly team meeting not paying attention and writing (i think it was prayers in his native language) in his notebook; he was asked a question by one of the managers during the meeting and because he wasn't listening he answered the question with an answer which had nothing to do with the question or anything we had been discussing in the meeting - he didn't even admit he wasn't listening. This is something that he has been doing in every meeting, which is disrespectful to the person who is holding the meeting. Everyone drifts off in meetings every now and again, but doing it consistantly and in such an obvious manner is unprofessional.

 

I guess several people in the team have difficulty dealing with him, including the managers.. He just doesn't seem to respect anyone except the team leader..